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10 Ways To Be A Good Listener
10個方法教你善于傾聽。
Being a good listener is one of the most important skills you can master if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships. When you REALLY listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it. Listening is a magnetic force that draws people to us.
如果你想在事業(yè)上步步高升，如果你想擁有豐富的人脈資源，學會善于傾聽是實現(xiàn)目標的其中一個最重要的技巧。如果你真的在聆聽，別人會感覺到你對談話內(nèi)容的興趣以及對說話人的尊重。善于傾聽就像是一塊磁鐵，將他人緊緊吸附在你身邊。如果你想在事業(yè)上步步高升，如果你想擁有豐富的人脈資源，學會善于傾聽是實現(xiàn)目標的其中一個最重要的技巧。如果你真的在聆聽，別人會感覺到你對談話內(nèi)容的興趣以及對說話人的尊重。善于傾聽就像是一塊磁鐵，將他人緊緊吸附在你身邊。
Have you ever talked to someone and noticed he or she wasn’t really listening to you? How did it make you feel? Unimportant? Disrespected? Insulted? Remember those feelings and work diligently to ensure that people never feel the same way when they talk to you.
你沒有有遇到過這種情況——和某人說話時對方并未真正在聽？你有什么感受？你覺得這不重要？感覺沒被尊重？還是有一種被侮辱的感覺？記住這些感受，并確保別人和你說話時你不會讓他也有這種感受。
In this post I will highlight 10 things I have learned throughout my career in addition to some lessons my dad taught me. My dad is the best listener I know. Everyone who meets him forms an instant bond with him and I am convinced that the number one reason for this immediate connection is his genuine and sincere interest in others. It all starts with him being a good listener.
本文所說的10個方法有一些是我在工作中學到的，也有一些是從我父親身上學來的。在我眼里，我父親是最善于傾聽的人。每個和他交往過的人都會立馬被他吸引。我堅信這與他在交往時展現(xiàn)出的真誠是分不開的。而這一切，都源于他的善于傾聽。
1.Make Eye Contact—The first step in being a good listener is to make eye contact with people while they are talking. Good eye contact demonstrates genuine interest in the person and the conversation.
1.進行目光接觸——要做到善于傾聽，第一步是當別人說話時，和對方進行目光接觸。適當?shù)哪抗饨佑|會顯示出你對說話者和談話內(nèi)容的真正興趣。
2. Be Present—I must admit I have been accused at times by my wife of not being present when she is talking even though I am looking into her eyes. These are times when my mind is thinking about something other than what she is talking about. I can only assume others have noticed, but perhaps at the risk of offending me, they have not said anything. The key here is to be aware that people do notice if we are not really listening. And so we must focus on the discussion and not allow our minds to wonder.
2.專心致志——我得承認，我有時和我妻子交談時會心不在焉，她因此不少埋怨我。我看上去是在聽她說話，但是思想不知道已經(jīng)漫游到何處了。我只能假設別人是怕得罪我而不會對此有太多怨言。關(guān)鍵是別人是知道你有沒有真的在聽。所以我們必須全神貫注，避免左耳進右耳出。
3.Give NO Sign You are Ready to Respond—When you are listening, don’t give any clues that you are ready to respond. Don’t point your finger and don’t open your mouth. When I talk to people and I see that they are waiting on pins and needles to respond, I know they are no longer listening because they are more concerned with how they are going to respond than with listening to what I have to say.
3.不要表現(xiàn)出你隨時準備回應對方——在聽別人說話時，不要表現(xiàn)得你隨時都會回應對方。不要指手畫腳，什么也不要說。我和別人交談時總會發(fā)現(xiàn)對方迫不及待地想要給予我回應。每當這時我就知道，他們不會再聽下去了，因為他們注意力已經(jīng)不在我說的內(nèi)容上了，而是把更多的注意力放在了該如何回應我這一方面上。
4.Wait Two Seconds to Respond—During a conversation, wait two seconds after the person finishes speaking to make sure they have finished their thought. This is especially important when talking on the phone, because you can’t see their facial expression. Often times they are just pausing to gather their thoughts and are not really finished speaking. If you find yourself talking at the same time someone else is talking, then use that opportunity to remind yourself of the “pause two seconds” rule.
4.談話結(jié)束稍候兩秒再給出回應——應該在別人說完過后兩秒再回應對方，以免他沒有說完。這在打電話時尤為重要，因為這時你看不到對方的表情，無法判斷對方是否已經(jīng)說完。很多時候，他們只是需要暫停一下來組織語言而并非說完了。如果別人還沒說完你就開始說，那么你就要回想一下“停頓兩秒”這一規(guī)則了。
