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Hi!everybody, this is Tod Smith with Little Things Matter.The title of today's lesson is Constructive Versus Destructive Complaining
大家好。我是托德·史密斯為您講述“小事也重要”。今天的題目是消極與積極的抱怨
Psychologists say that people generally complain for one of two reasons—as a way of enlisting people to agree with their point of view, or as a means of making conversation since negative observations often yield a bigger response than positive comments. (Sadly, that is true.)
心里學(xué)家說人們通常抱怨有兩方面的原因：一個(gè)是來爭取別人的觀點(diǎn)和自己的一致，或作為一種交談因?yàn)樨?fù)面觀察往往比積極評(píng)價(jià)產(chǎn)生更大的反應(yīng)。(可悲的是，這是真的。)
Today, I’m going on record as saying that neither of these reasons are valid enough to outweigh the fact that no one likes being around people who are chronic complainers.
今天,我要公開說,這些原因都是正當(dāng)?shù)模冶葲]有人喜歡被周圍人一直抱怨著這一事實(shí)更有價(jià)值。
Whining is a childish trait and can be a very difficult habit to break once it has become a part of a person’s communication style. Nevertheless, breaking the habit of complaining is essential if we wish to be viewed as people whose words carry weight and whose opinions matter.
抱怨是一種非常幼稚的行為習(xí)慣，一旦養(yǎng)成就很難打破這種壞習(xí)慣，它將成為人們交際風(fēng)格的一部分。然而，改正抱怨的習(xí)慣是非常必要的，如果我們希望被別人視為那種說話和觀點(diǎn)有分量的人。
Some forms of complaints are obvious, but other forms are often disguised as commentary or critique. They may appear more subtle but are just as damaging to your reputation.
有些抱怨的形式是非常明顯的，但也有其他形式常常被偽裝成評(píng)論或批判。它們的出現(xiàn)可能是微妙的，但是卻可以損害你的名譽(yù)。
When you do have a legitimate complaint to communicate, you can do so in a productive manner by following these guidelines.
當(dāng)你確實(shí)有一個(gè)合理的抱怨需要進(jìn)行溝通,你可以以富有成效的方式遵循這些準(zhǔn)則。
1. Have a purpose. Having an objective for complaining means that you wish to accomplish something that is both reasonable and specific.
1.有目的性的。有一個(gè)客觀的抱怨意味著你想有所成就,這是合理而又明確的。
Complaints without purpose include things like:
沒有目的的抱怨的事情有：
The way your favorite NFL team played on Sunday
The weatherThe traffic on the InterstateThese things may bother you to a degree, but you can’t do anything about any of them, so why spend your time (and someone else’s) complaining about them?
您最喜歡的美國國家足球聯(lián)盟的球隊(duì)在周日比賽;天氣;州級(jí)公路上的交通;有些事可能影響你的學(xué)位，但是你又不能對(duì)他們做任何事，因此為什么你要花費(fèi)你的(和別人的)時(shí)間來抱怨他們呢?
2. Offer a proposed solution. Whenever you complain, be prepared to offer a reasonable solution.
2.提供一種解決方案。無論你什么時(shí)候抱怨，去準(zhǔn)備提供一種合理的解決方法。
3. Be understanding. People are not perfect and most employees are doing the best they can. It’s also important to recognize that what may be logical to you, may not be logical to someone else.
3.理解性的。人都是不完美的，但是員工們盡他們最大的努力去做事。同樣重要的是，認(rèn)識(shí)到什么對(duì)你來說是合理的，或許這些對(duì)別人來說不是合理的。
Make a point to accept and value the differences in people. Recognize that we all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences. Specifically, have a little more patience; be a little more forgiving of others.
強(qiáng)調(diào)接受和價(jià)值的差異。要承認(rèn)我們都是來自不同的背景，有著不同的生活經(jīng)歷。具體來說，要多一點(diǎn)耐心，學(xué)會(huì)更加寬容別人。
If you find yourself being overly critical of others or the world at large (which leads to the habit of complaining), let me encourage you to start being more aware of this and work on improving your attitude in this area.
如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己過于批判別人或者整個(gè)世界(這就是導(dǎo)致你形成抱怨的習(xí)慣)，讓我來鼓勵(lì)你開始有意識(shí)的對(duì)待這些，這樣會(huì)改變你在這些方面的態(tài)度。
