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How to save marriage after being laid off
如何挽救失業后的婚姻
Amanda Petersen was living the good life in suburban Detroit. The 40-year-old mother of two was the family breadwinner. A senior executive in a real estate development firm，Petersen’s $ 200K job paid a generous bonus, offered stock options and a profit-sharing plan. It meant private school for the kids and enabled her to go on special trips with her husband, a firefighter, throw parties and lavish gifts on family and friends. Laid off last spring, Petersen felt clobbered.
阿曼達彼得森住在底特律郊區，過著美好的生活。這位40歲的母親有兩個孩子，是家庭的經濟支柱。作為一個房地產開發公司的高級行政人員,彼得森的年薪是20萬美金,還有豐厚的獎金,擁有股票買賣權和利潤分享計劃。這意味著能送孩子們去私立學校,讓她與她的消防員丈夫去參加各種特殊的旅行、大辦派對以及送家人 和朋友昂貴的禮物。但在去年春天失業后，彼得森覺得生活變得一敗涂地。
Sound familiar? Families like Petersen’s are grappling with similar challenges in the new economic order as one or both high-income earning spouses lose their jobs in layoffs and cutbacks. Accustomed to a certain standard of living, couples like the Petersens who have experienced job losses often suffer relationship strains as existing marital tensions are exacerbated and financial stresses spaiic new challenges. In high-income earning families, status-oriented activities like vacations, parties and charitable giving are pared, if not cut altogether,
聽起來很熟悉?在新的經濟秩序下,彼得森一家和許多髙收入家庭一樣面臨著同樣的挑戰。這些夫妻中一個或雙雙遭遇下崗或裁員。像彼得森夫婦一樣習慣了一定水準的生活后失業的夫妻婚姻關系經常變得緊張，因為經濟壓力帶來了新的挑戰。髙收入家庭如果 不完全拋開代表家庭地位的各種活動(諸如度假，派對和慈善捐贈 活動）,就會削減它們的開支。
Amanda sees the effects on her relationship: “I find myself picking fights that I never would,” she says. “I just feel like a failure, like I'm letting everyone down. I have an amazing husband and a very strong marriage, but this event has effectively changed the DNA of our relationship.”
阿曼達看到這對她婚姻關系的影響廣我發現自己在打架，但以前絕對不會。我只是覺得自己很失敗,似乎是我讓每個人失望…… 我有一個好丈夫和一段非常牟固的婚姻,但這次徹底改變了我們的關系?！?/div>
“If there are already money stresses in the marriage, this is the time to resolve those issues. It almost forces the hand of the couple to solve them,” says Dr. Nancy Mramor, a Pittsburgh, Pa.based health psychologist who works couples where one or both partners has suffered a job loss. She offered the following 10 tips for the problem:
南希姆拉莫爾博士說如果金錢已經給婚姻造成了壓力,是時候去解決問題了。這幾乎迫使夫婦去解決問題?！彼琴e夕法尼亞州匹茲堡的一位健康心理學家,為那些一個或雙雙失業的夫妻提供心理咨詢。為解決這個問題,她給出了以下10點建議：
1 . Focus on priorities, budgeting and resolving financial issues. “If there’s something deeper to begin with, then couples can get back to that. But if the marriage was too based on social status and money, then once it’s pulled out, there’s nothing there.”
1.專注優先事項,預算和解決經濟難題。“如果婚姻有更深的基礎,那么夫婦可以回到過去。但如果婚姻建立在社會地位和金錢的基礎上,那么一旦失去它們,就什么也沒有了?！?/div>
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2. Get outside supports. “Get as many people on your team looking for a job as possible.”
2.獲得外部支持。“盡可能有更多的人幫助你找工作?！?/div>
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3. Try to find agreement about what should be done and establish a timeline.
3.試著制定個應該傲什么的協議，并制定時間表。
4. Consult experts and find out the best ways to manage your existing resources. “Don’t be proud. Get advice. This is a time to consult people who you trust and who can guide you through this.”
4.咨詢專家并找出管理你現有資源的最佳方法?！安灰湴?聽取意見。這是咨詢你信任的人 和能指導你的人的時候。”
5. Strengthen the family by spending time together at home and include friends. “It's fine for kids to know that for a while, the family isn’t going to be spending as much money. Kids should really understand what their parents’ resources are.”
5.花更多的時間與家人和朋友待在一起。“這對讓孩子了解到在這段時間中家里是不會花大筆的錢很有用。孩子們確實會了解到父母的財力?！?/div>
6. Keep up communication with your spouse. “Really listen to the other person before you fire back, then respond in a way that’s loving and respectful. You can have a loving, healthy debate with your partner as long as things are said with respect and love,” Career transitions coach Stein agrees: f"Keep talking to each other. It’s not wrong to feel things, but it’s essential to really listen to one another.”
6.保持和你配偶的交流?！霸诜瘩g前聽對方說完,然后以一種友愛和尊重的方式回應。只要你用友愛和尊重的方式去說，就可以和你的配偶進行友愛和健康的辯論。”職業過渡教練斯坦表示同意廣不斷地交談。有情緒沒有錯,但必須要真正聽取彼此?！?/div>
7. Reassess your wealth. “People have lots of things they don’t need. Sell the things that are valuable. Get rid of everything in your life that doesn’t have a strong value for the family and you as a couple. Only hold on to what’s sentimentally important.”
7.重新評估自己的財富。“人們有許多他們并不需要的東西。賣掉值錢的東西。賣掉生活中對你的家庭和你們夫婦沒有價值的一切東西,只留下對感情很重要的。”
8. Understand the impact of stress on your body. “Maybe you can’t keep your gym membership but you can take a walk. Express physical affection as a source of comfort. Deep breathing is one of the most powerful ways to restore your health.”
8. 了解壓力對身體的影響?！耙苍S你不能保住健身館的會員身份,但你可以去散步。釋放身體的感情可以作為一種慰藉。深呼吸是恢復健康最有效的方式之一?！?/div>
9. Adopt an “attitude of gratitude and live in the present moment. “Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in people's lives and allows you to see everything that’s good and possible. Give thanks for 10 things each day.”
9.采取“感激”的態度，生活在當下感激是人們生活中最強大的力量之一，它讓你看到一切美好的可能。每天試著感謝10件事”
10. Focus on what you have, rather than what you don’t have.
10.專注你擁有的,而不是你沒有的。
| 重點單詞 | 查看全部解釋 | |||
| coach | [kəutʃ] |
想一想再看 n. 大巴，教練;(火車)客車車廂，四輪馬車，經濟艙 |
聯想記憶 | |
| understand | [.ʌndə'stænd] |
想一想再看 vt. 理解，懂，聽說，獲悉，將 ... 理解為，認為< |
||
| stress | [stres] |
想一想再看 n. 緊張，壓力 |
||
| impact | ['impækt,im'pækt] |
想一想再看 n. 沖擊(力), 沖突，影響(力) |
聯想記憶 | |
| experienced | [iks'piəriənst] |
想一想再看 adj. 有經驗的 |
||
| psychologist | [sai'kɔlədʒist] |
想一想再看 n. 心理學家 |
聯想記憶 | |
| respectful | [ri'spektfəl] |
想一想再看 adj. 表示尊敬的，有禮貌的，謙恭的 |
聯想記憶 | |
| lavish | ['læviʃ] |
想一想再看 adj. 大方的，豐富的，浪費的 vt. 浪費，慷慨給予 |
聯想記憶 | |
| valuable | ['væljuəbl] |
想一想再看 adj. 貴重的，有價值的 |
聯想記憶 | |
| status | ['steitəs] |
想一想再看 n. 地位，身份，情形，狀況 |
聯想記憶 |
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