評論
打印
I was a discord in Gateshead Hall. I was like nobody there.
我在蓋茨黑德府上格格不入。在那里我跟誰都不像。
I had nothing in harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.
同里德太太、她的孩子、她看中的家仆，都不融洽。
If they did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them.
他們不愛我，說實在我也一樣不愛他們。
They were not bound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one amongst them.
他們沒有必要熱情對待一個與自已合不來的家伙。
A heterogeneous thing, opposed to them in temperament, in capacity, in propensities
一個無論是個性、地位，還是嗜好都同他們涇渭分明的異己。
A useless thing, incapable of serving their interest, or adding to their pleasure.
一個既不能為他們效勞，也不能給他們增添歡樂的廢物。
A noxious thing, cherishing the germs of indignation at their treatment, of contempt of their judgment.
一個對自己的境界心存不滿而又蔑視他們想法的討厭家伙。
I know that had I been a sanguine, brilliant, careless, exacting, handsome, romping child- though equally dependent and friendless
我明白，如果我是一個聰明開朗、漂亮頑皮、不好侍候的孩子，即使同樣是寄人籬下，同樣是無親無故。
Mrs. Reed would have endured my presence more complacently.
里德太太也會對我的處境更加寬容忍讓。
Her children would have entertained for me more of the cordiality of fellow-feeling.
她的孩子們也會對我親切熱情些。
The servants would have been less prone to make me the scapegoat of the nursery.
她的孩子們也會對我親切熱情些；傭人們也不會一再把我當作保育室的替罪羊了。
Daylight began to forsake the red-room.
紅房子里白晝將盡。
It was past four o'clock, and the beclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight.
時候已是四點過后，暗沉沉的下午正轉為凄涼的黃昏。
I heard the rain still beating continuously on the staircase window, and the wind howling in the grove behind the hall.
我聽見雨點仍不停地敲打著樓梯的窗戶，狂風在門廳后面的樹叢中怒號。
I grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then my courage sank.
我漸漸地冷得像塊石頭，勇氣也煙消云散。
My habitual mood of humiliation, self-doubt, forlorn depression, fell damp on the embers of my decaying ire.
往常那種屈辱感，那種缺乏自信、孤獨沮喪的情緒，澆滅了我將消未消的怒火。
All said I was wicked, and perhaps I might be so.
誰都說我壞，也許我確實如此吧。
What thought had I been but just conceiving of starving myself to death?
我不是一心謀劃著讓自己餓死嗎？
That certainly was a crime, and was I fit to die?
這當然是一種罪過。而且我該不該死呢？
Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead Church an inviting bourne?
或者，蓋茨黑德教堂圣壇底下的墓穴是個令人向往的歸宿嗎？
In such vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie buried.
聽說里德先生就長眠在這樣的墓穴里。
And led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it with gathering dread.
這一念頭重又勾起了我對他的回憶，而越往下細想，就越害怕起來。
I could not remember him, but I knew that he was my own uncle- my mother's brother- that he had taken me when a parentless infant to his house.
我已經不記得他了，只知道他是我舅父-我母親的哥哥，他收養了我這個襁褓中的孤兒。
And that in his last moments he had required a promise of Mrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children.
而且在彌留之際，要里德太太答應，把我當作她自己的孩子來撫養。
Mrs. Reed probably considered she had kept this promise.
里德太太也許認為自己是信守諾言的。
And so she had, I dare say, as well as her nature would permit her.
而我想就她本性而論，也確是實踐了當初的許諾。
But how could she really like an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her, after her husband's death, by any tie?
可是她怎么能真心喜歡一個不屬于她家的外姓、一個在丈夫死后同她已了卻一切干系的人呢？
It must have been most irksome to find herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a parent to a strange child she could not love,
她發現自己受這勉為其難的保證的約束，充當一個自己所無法喜愛的陌生孩子的母親，眼睜睜看著一位不相投合的外人永遠硬擠在自己的家人中間。
and to see an uncongenial alien permanently intruded on her own family group.
對她來說，這想必是件最惱人的事情了。
