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My name is Harriet, and I have hope that all the bad things I've been through can be turned into something good.
我叫哈利特。我希望我所經歷過的苦難能轉化成正能量。
That's why I want to make this video and tell you my story.
所以我想借這個視頻分享我的故事。
I remember having a negative body image for as long as I've had memories.
我記得自己從記事以來就有著糟糕的身材。
When I was around three years old, I clearly recall my father picking up another little girl and saying that he couldn't pick me up anymore because I was too heavy.
在我三歲的時候，我清楚的記得我父親抱起另一個小女孩，并說因為我太重了，他不再能抱起我了。
I learned what a calorie was at age five.
我5歲時，知道了卡路里。
I grew up watching my mother diet and exercise obsessively, which led me to stop eating breakfast and start only drinking weight loss shakes at age nine.
我看著母親著魔地控制飲食和鍛煉長大。這促使我在9歲時停止吃早餐并開始只喝減肥奶昔。
When I was about 10 years old, I started to feel self-conscious about my weight.
在我10歲左右時，我開始注重自己的體重。
By 11, I was restricting my eating severely, although I didn't really know what I was doing.
到了11歲，我開始嚴格地節食。盡管我并不知道自己在做什么。
I didn't yet know that I was developing an eating disorder.
我還沒察覺到自己患了厭食癥。
I made the connection between eating less and losing weight around the time I turned 13.
在13歲時，我把少吃東西和減肥聯系到一起。
And by my freshman year of high school, I'd started exercising, counting calories, purging, and restricting to the point of hospitalization.
在我上初中的第一年我就開始鍛煉，計算卡路里，吃瀉藥，限制飲食，以至到了最后住院的地步。
Now I'm 17, and I've spent the last three years of my life in and out of hospitals and recovery centers, because I've kept convincing everyone else around me that I was well enough to be home, even when I was really just learning more tricks to avoid getting caught.
現在我17歲了，過去的3年里，我反復地出入醫院和康復中心，因為我不斷地說服周圍的人我已經康復到可以回家了。即使那只是我為避免被發現而耍的一些伎倆。
I lied to the people I loved most, and became someone completely unrecognizable.
我對我最愛的人說謊，成為了一個完全不同的人。
I sacrificed my strongest morals to protect something that was only hurting me and taking everything from me.
我摒棄了我最強烈的道德感，換來的卻是對自己的不斷傷害，對所有一切的掠奪。
In doing so, I've missed out on so much of my own life.
因為這些，我的人生錯過了很多東西。
I don't know who I am without my eating disorder.
除了我的厭食癥，我不知道我是誰。
The one thing I know is what keeps me fighting.
我只知道我為何要不斷抗爭。
I want to be here. I wanna be able to accept the help, support and love that surrounds me every single day.
我想活著，我想接受每天時刻伴隨著我的幫助、支持還有愛。
I am motivated to finally make the changes I know I need to make to discover who I really am.
我終于有勇氣去做這些改變，這些非做不可的改變，去發現真正的自我。
When people ask me what I want to be when I grow up, I tell them that I want to be happy.
當人們問我，我長大后想做什么時，我告訴他們，我想變得快樂。
My goal is to make this year, the year I turn my life around.
我希望在這一年里，我的生活會有翻天覆地的變化。
I want to look back on this year and feel proud of myself.
我希望在回首這年時能為自己驕傲。
My name is Harriet, and I have hope.
我叫哈利特，我滿懷希望。
I hope that people who don't know what it's like to have an eating disorder will have compassion for those who are struggling.
我希望那些不了解患上厭食癥的感受的人能對正在抗爭中的人抱有同情。
I hope that people who do have eating disorders will feel like they have a voice, and that they will feel less guilty, alone, and hopeless.
我希望那些患有厭食癥的人能夠學會發出自己的聲音，從而感覺不那么愧疚、孤獨、無助。
If my story resonates with even one single person, I will feel like my entire journey has been worthwhile.
只要我的故事引起了一個人的共鳴，那么我的整個人生旅程便是值得的。
Having an eating disorder may not be a choice, but you can choose to beat this. I can beat this.
患上厭食癥也許是出于無奈，但是你可以選擇與之抗爭，就像我一樣。
You are strong enough. I am strong enough.
你足夠的強大，我足夠的強大。
You are beautiful enough. And I am beautiful enough.
你足夠的漂亮，我也足夠的漂亮。
You are enough. My name is Harriet, and I am enough.
你就是你。我叫哈利特，我就是我。
