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Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event. I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. And I passed the accident, and I didn't know it was her and I kept going, and I found out shortly after that, it was her. And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? I don't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions.
總之，當時我不知道自己這一輩子要干什么，最后因為一件十分悲慘的事情，我找到了自己的人生目標。大約是在19歲時，我的女朋友在一次車禍中身亡。我路過事故現場時不知道是她，就繼續走。但不久我發現，那就是她。當時我住在地下室的公寓里，我沒有錢，沒有暖氣，沒有新鮮空氣，只是在地板上鋪一個墊子，房間里到處都是跳蚤。我感到困惑不已。我在想，“為什么她突然走了？為什么我住在滿是跳蚤的房子里？”我無法理解，但一定有理由的，要是能直接拿起電話問上帝的話不是太好了嗎？
And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I'm gonna do this on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson"at the time he was the king-"and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote. And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they would laugh at me.
于是我開始寫東西，腦海中涌現出一段與上帝的對話，那是只有我一個人的獨白。寫完之后，我看著我寫的東西，對自己講話。那時，我還沒有開始做單人脫口秀節目，因為當時新奧爾良沒有俱樂部。我說，我將要在“今夜秀”上和約翰尼·卡森一起表演這一段。他當時是主持界天王，我將成為該節目史上第一個和他一起坐下被訪問的女性。數年之后，我成了該節目史上第一位、也是唯一一位和約翰尼一起坐下被訪問的女性，完全是因為我寫的“與上帝打電話對話”的劇本。從此我開始做單人脫口秀節目，并且非常成功。但也非常艱難，因為我想取悅每一個人。我守著一個秘密，那就是我是一個同性戀，我想人們要是發現了，就不會喜歡我了，還會嘲笑我。
