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Now science books will tell you that when you meet a bear in the woods you should avoid eye contact, retreat slowly and if it attacks you play dead, but that's if your avoiding a confrontation, if you wanna bring it to the bear you need to wind him up first, so nick his salmon and run away a bit or just insult his mum.
現在“科學”將給你權威的解答,當你在森林里遇到一頭熊的時候，你應該避免接觸眼睛。如果它準備攻擊你，將你慢慢玩死,你的選擇就是撤退。但如果你避免對抗,如果你想和熊打一架，你就需要先挑釁它,最好的方法是拿著它的鮭魚食物開跑或者干脆侮辱它的媽媽。
If you see a bear at feeding time its gonna be hungry, hungry means angry, best not to go hand to hand in this situation far better to run him down with a truck. If you don't have a truck your gonna have to go toe to toe, best thing to do is go mental, imagine its a life and death situation, like if you were being attacked by a bear, kick him in the balls, clothesline him, or do his face in with a crow bar. You probably gonna get some back, so keep your guard up, at the end of the day its who wants it more.
如果你看到一只熊饑餓難耐,那你就處境不妙了。饑餓意味著暴躁，在這種情況下最好不要手把手的和熊斗，更好的方式是用一輛卡車從它身上碾過去。如果你碰巧身邊沒有一輛卡車，你就得算計衡量孰輕孰重了。最好的辦法就是心理暗示，想象現在是你的生死攸關時刻,你遭到一只熊襲擊,該怎么辦？踢它的蛋蛋,對它拳打腳踢甚至是用撬杠戳瞎它的雙眼。你可以買一些回來,所以你要保持守勢,畢竟在一天結束的時候誰都要想的多一點。
You might need to fight dirty:
你也可能需要耍一些骯臟手段:
Why not take his cubs hostage, and push them around a bit, this will leave him feeling lost and alone making it easier for you to deck him. enlist the help of other animals like a hawk to pluck out his eyes, a cobra to inject some venom, and a rhino to deliver a smack down.
你為什么不挾持它的幼崽作為人質呢？這可以讓它心情沮喪與孤獨，而你可以更容易地搞定它。向其它動物尋求幫助也是不錯的選擇，鷹會戳瞎它的眼睛，眼鏡蛇可以使用毒液而犀牛的沖撞也絕對不是好惹的。
Why not build a robot suit out of metal and stuff to level the odds? Then knock his teeth out.
為什么不制造一種全身金屬的機器人呢?這樣可以把它的牙齒打出來。
If all else fails set him on fire- proving once and for all you're king of the jungle.
即使所有的其他方法都失敗也可以讓它惹禍上身——這證明你就是叢林之王。
Good luck fighting bears.
祝你戰熊好運。
詞語解釋：
- avoid v. 避免
- salmon n. 鮭魚
- hostage n. 人質
