His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances--and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others as in his reproaches to myself. After this period every appearance of acquaintance was dropped. How he lived I know not. But last summer he was again most painfullyobtrudedon my notice.
"I must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which no obligation less than the present should induce me to unfold to any human being. Having said thus much, I feel no doubt of your secrecy. My sister, who is more than ten years my junior, was left to theguardianshipof my mother's nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself. About a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment formed for her in London; and last summer she went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid, he so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love, and to consent to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse; and after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add, that I owed the knowledge of it to herself. I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement, and then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father,acknowledgedthe whole to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings prevented any public exposure; but I wrote to Mr. Wickham, who left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was of course removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed.
"This, madam, is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been concerned together; and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will, I hope, acquit mehenceforthof cruelty towards Mr. Wickham. I know not in what manner, under what form of falsehood he had imposed on you; but his success is not perhaps to be wondered at. Ignorant as you previously were of everything concerning either, detection could not be in your power, and suspicion certainly not in your inclination.
"You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you last night; but I was not then master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be revealed. For the truth of everything here related, I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of Colonel Fitzwilliam, who, from our near relationship and constant intimacy, and, still more, as one of the executors of my father's will, has been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of thesetransactions. If your abhorrence of ME should make MY assertions valueless, you cannot be prevented by the same cause from confiding in my cousin; and that there may be the possibility of consulting him, I shall endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the morning. I will only add, God bless you.
"FITZWILLIAM DARCY"
你也許不明白為什么我昨天晚上不把這一切當(dāng)面告訴你。可是當(dāng)時(shí)我自己也捉摸不住自己,不知道哪些話可以講,哪些話應(yīng)該講。這封信中所說(shuō)的一切,是真是假,我可以特別請(qǐng)你問(wèn)問(wèn)費(fèi)茨威廉上校,他是我們的近親,又是我們的至交,而且是先父遺囑執(zhí)行人之一,他對(duì)于其中的一切詳情自然都十分清楚,他可以來(lái)作證明。假使說(shuō),你因?yàn)閰拹何?,竟把我的話看得一文不值,你不妨把你的意?jiàn)說(shuō)給我的表弟聽(tīng);我所以要想盡辦法找機(jī)會(huì)把這封信一大早就交到你手里,就是為了讓你可以去和他商量一下。我要說(shuō)的話都說(shuō)完了,愿上帝祝福你。
費(fèi)茨威廉•達(dá)西【生詞注釋】obtrude v. 強(qiáng)迫guardianship n.監(jiān)護(hù) acknowledge v. 承認(rèn)henceforth adv.自此以后transaction n. 交易