你昨夜曾把兩件性質不同、輕重不等的罪名加在我頭上。你第一件指責我折散了彬格萊先生和令姐的好事,完全不顧他們倆之間如何情深意切,你第二件指責我不顧體面,喪盡人道,蔑視別人的權益,毀壞了韋翰先生那指日可期的富貴,又破來了他美好的前途。
"Two offenses of a very different nature, and by no means of equalmagnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The first mentioned was, that, regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley from your sister, and the other, that I had, in defiance of various claims, in defiance of honour and humanity, ruined the immediate prosperity and blasted the prospects of Mr. Wickham. Wilfully and wantonly to have thrown off the companion of my youth, the acknowledged favourite of my father, a young man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage, and who had been brought up to expect its exertion, would be a depravity, to which the separation of two young persons, whose affection could be the growth of only a few weeks, could bear no comparison. But from the severity of that blame which was last night so liberallybestowed, respecting each circumstance, I shall hope to be in the future secured, when the following account of my actions and their motives has been read. If, in the explanation of them, which is due to myself, I am under the necessity of relating feelings which may be offensive to yours, I can only say that I am sorry. The necessity must be obeyed, and further apology would be absurd.
你昨夜曾把兩件性質不同、輕重不等的罪名加在我頭上。你第一件指責我折散了彬格萊先生和令姐的好事,完全不顧他們倆之間如何情深意切,你第二件指責我不顧體面,喪盡人道,蔑視別人的權益,毀壞了韋翰先生那指日可期的富貴,又破來了他美好的前途。我竟無情無義,拋棄了自己小時候的朋友,一致公認的先父生前的寵幸,一個無依無靠的青年,從小起就指望我們施恩……這方面的確是我的一種遺憾;至于那一對青年男女,他們不過只有幾星期的交情,就算我拆散了他們,也不能同這件罪過相提并論。現在請允許我把我自己的行為和動機一一剖白一下,希望你弄明白了其中的原委以后,將來可以不再象昨天晚上那樣對我嚴詞苛責。在解釋這些必要的事情時,如果我迫不得已,要述述我自己的情緒,因而使你情緒不快,我只得向你表示歉意。既是出于迫不得已,那么再道歉未免就嫌可笑了。
"I had not been long in Hertfordshire, before I saw, in common with others, that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. I had often seen him in love before. At that ball, while I had the honour of dancing with you, I was first made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas'saccidentalinformation, that Bingley's attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided. From that moment I observed my friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without anysymptomof peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening's scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. If YOU have not been mistaken here, _I_ must have been in error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable. If it be so, if I have been misled by such error to inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched. That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain--but I willventureto say that my investigation and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears. I did not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it; I believed it on impartial conviction, as truly as I wished it in reason. My objections to the marriage were not merely those which I last night acknowledged to have the utmost force of passion to put aside, in my own case; the want of connection could not be so great an evil to my friend as to me.
我到哈福德郡不久,就和別人一樣,看出了彬格萊先生在當地所有的少女中偏偏看中了令姐。但是一直等到在尼日斐花園開跳舞會的那個晚上,我才顧慮到他當真對令姐有了愛戀之意。說到他的戀愛方面,我以前也看得很多。在那次跳舞會上,當我很榮幸地跟你跳舞時,我才聽到威廉•盧卡斯偶然說起彬格萊先生對令姐的殷勤已經弄得滿城風雨,大家都以為他們就要談到嫁娶問題。聽他說起來,好象事情已經千穩萬妥,只是遲早問題罷了。從那時起,我就密切注意著我朋友的行為,于是我看出了他對班納特小姐的鐘情,果然和他往常的戀愛情形大不相同。我也注意著令姐。她的神色和風度依舊象平常那樣落落大方,和藹可親,并沒有鐘情于任何人的跡象。根據我那一晚上仔細觀察的情形看來,我確實認為她雖然樂意接受他的殷勤,可是她并沒有用深情密意來報答他。要是這件事你沒有弄錯,那么錯處一定在我;你對于令姐既有透辟的了解,那么當然可能是我錯了。倘若事實果真如此,倘若果真是我弄錯了,造成令姐的痛苦,那當然難怪你氣憤。可是我可以毫不猶豫地說,令姐當初的風度極其灑脫,即使觀察力最敏銳的人,也難免以為她盡管性情柔和,可是她的心不容易打動。我當初確實希望她無動于中,可是我敢說,我雖然主觀上有我的希望,有我的顧慮,可是我的觀察和我的推斷并不會受到主觀上的影響。我認為,令姐決不會因為我希望她無動于中,她就當真無動于中;我的看法大公無私,我的愿望也合情合理。我昨天晚上說,遇到這樣門戶不相稱的婚姻,輪到我自己身上的時候,我必須用極大的感情上的力量圓心壓制,至于說到他們倆這一門婚姻,我所以要反對,還不光光是為了這些理由,因為關于門戶高低的問題,我朋友并不象我那么重視。