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有聲讀物暢銷書系列之
Tales From Briarcliff by Lana Winters,
《荊棘崖往事》 作者拉娜·溫特斯
read by the author.
由作者本人朗讀
Chapter six,
第六章
"The Gathering Storm."
風雨來襲
Behind the stone walls of Briarcliff,
在荊棘崖那森森高墻之內
time had no meaning.
時間是妄無的存在
The days themselves seemed to exist
時光本身，像是穿行在
in a kind of perpetual twilight.
永不散去的暮光之中
Life there was just a series of numbing cruelties
那里的生活是由殘暴和虐待
and humiliations,
調和成的苦劑
all masquerading as something else.
妄圖粉飾太平的無謂掙扎
You weren't conceived in love, but in hate.
你并非由愛，卻是因恨而生
I couldn't wait to give you up.
我恨不能早點把你拋棄
You're an abomination.
你是個孽種
You should never have been born.
你根本不應該降生
I was in the third week of my confinement,
在我入院的第三周
and a storm was coming.
一場風暴降臨荊棘崖
The nor'easter of '64
64年的東北海岸的那場颶風
that brought so much devastation with it,
帶來了摧枯拉朽般的破壞
and for me, something else,
而對我來說，另一場災難
something far more savage even than nature.
一場比天災還要殘暴的災難，即將發生
Oliver Thredson was,
奧利弗·史萊森
to all appearances,
在所有人看來
a kindly figure,
都是一個標準的好人
fatherly in his manner.
慈父般的存在
This face he showed the world,
他向世人展示的面孔
this face of sanity and benevolence,
那充滿仁義道德的圣人形象
that was his real mask.
只是他的面具而已
Underneath lurked the real Oliver Thredson,
在面具背后隱匿著真正的奧利弗·史萊森
an unspeakable monster.
一個罪惡滔天的魔鬼
I loved you even when you were still in your mother's womb.
在你還沒出世前，我就一直愛著你
I would have given anything to be a real father to you,
為了成為你的父親，我愿意付出一切
but she kept us apart.
但她卻將我們拆散
I had so much love to give you, son.
我有那么多愛來不及給你，兒子
She stole it from you.
都是她偷走了
From both of us.
她偷走了我們兩個人的愛
Here comes the bride.
新娘駕到
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
The Catholic Church bought this place in '62,
天主教會在1962年買下這里
and turned it into a sanitarium for the criminally insane.
把它改成了一間收留精神病罪犯的療養院
Legend has it that once you were committed at Briarcliff,
據說，一旦被收入荊棘崖
you never got out.
你絕無出路
The most famous resident was a serial killer named...
其中最有名的病人是連環殺人魔...
Bloody Face.
血臉殺手
Say "Bloody Face". Bloody Face.
說"血臉殺手" ,血臉殺手
What is that?
那是什么
Maybe it's Bloody Face.
或許是血臉殺手呢
Maybe it's just old pipes.
或許只是老管道
I can't see.
我什么也看不見
Let me see.
讓我看看
What? You scared, pussy?
怎么，你怕了嗎，膽小鬼
In Briarcliff...
在荊棘崖...
Oh, my God! What? What's wrong?
上帝啊，怎么了，怎么了
You're such a prick.
你這個爛鳥人
You are such a prick.
你這個爛鳥人
Speaking of which...
說到鳥...
No. I want to know what's in there.
不要，我想知道里面有什么
Do it again and I'll blow you.
再把手伸進去，我就給你口交
Give me your phone.
把你手機給我
And who did this drawing of you?
這是誰給你畫的啊
Bono.
博諾
He was a bit tipsy on the airplane
他在從索馬里回來的飛機上
coming back from Somalia
喝得有點高
and drew it on the cocktail napkin.
就在雞尾酒餐巾上開畫
He's quite good, isn't he?
還挺不錯的，不是嗎
Be sure and get an insert of that, Pete.
記得給這畫來個特寫，皮特
So with six bestsellers,
擁有六本暢銷書
a reputation as the only one the men will open up to,
獲得"男士最佳傾訴對象"的稱號
world leaders, stars, disgraced politicians,
成為世界領袖，明星，以及昔日政要
who's the one that got away?
你還有什么遺憾嗎
Is there anyone you lusted after that you missed?
有沒有什么人的離去令你念念不忘
That's easy. Mao and Rielle Hunter.
當然有，毛澤東和瑞爾·亨特
And she's still lusting after Julian Assange.
而且她還惦念著朱利安·阿桑奇
Uh, look, I know I said
我知道我說過
no oncamera appearances for you,
您是不會出鏡的
but I love this whole bringing
但我很喜歡這種
the chardonnay thing,
倒上一杯夏敦埃酒
super casual, loving.
舒適愜意，愛意濃濃的感覺
What about just that?
就拍這些如何
I'm April, by the way.
對了，我叫艾普麗
Marian.
瑪麗安
What a pleasure.
非常榮幸
I saw your Norma at the Met.
我在大都會博物院看到你的作品《諾爾瑪》
Transcendent.
堪稱卓絕
She's doing it in Bologna this summer.
那是今年夏天她在博洛尼亞做的
Thank you.
謝謝
I've got rehearsal; I've got to take off.
我還要彩排，先走了
I'll be back by 5:00.
我會在5點回來
We have that Sondheim dinner birthday thing tonight.
今晚我們還要跟桑德海姆慶生
Am I not the luckiest woman alive?
我真是最幸運的女人
A little higher, babe.
再高一點，親愛的
Attaboy.
干得好
Mmmm, higher still.
再往上點
Oh, what are they teaching these kids in film school?
電影學校都教了些什么東西給這些孩子
God knows
竟然不知道
it's not how to make us old gals
怎么打光好讓我們這些老女人
look more gorgeous.
看起來更年輕些
Nothing old about you, La.
你一點都不老，拉娜
Well, thanks to a very talented surgeon in Paris
這要感謝巴黎那位有才的外科醫生
and a great dermatologist.
還是個出色的皮膚科醫生
So, what are we covering today?
那么我們今天要談什么
Well, since it's a Kennedy Center honor,
您獲得肯尼迪中心榮譽獎
I'd say it's a pretty big canvas.
所以重點肯定在此
Jesus, darling, I hope
天啊，親愛的，我希望
this isn't going to feel like a eulogy.
這不會變得像是在念悼詞
I will certainly ask you
我還將采訪
about your notorious nailtothecross
關于您前往監獄參訪
prison interview with Madoff.
聲名狼藉的麥道夫的情況
But before all that,
但這些之前
I'd like to go back
我想先追溯下過去
and start with the early years.
從您早些年開始采訪
The awful
那可怕的
Bloody Face saga.
血臉殺手時期
I said I wouldn't talk about that.
我說過我不會講那事的
People want to hear about it.
但觀眾想知道
It's what made you famous.
這也是你成名的原因
My point exactly.
正是此因
He's become a goddamn household name.
他變成一個該死的家喻戶曉的名字
Like some kind of Heath Ledger,
就像是希斯·萊杰
Hollywood movie star villain.
好萊塢電影反派明星
He was an evil monster
血臉就是個惡魔
who used murder and torture
他不斷殺害和虐待
to keep himself from feeling like a eunuch.
來讓自己感覺不那么像太監
End of story.
就是這樣
I refuse to give him one more second of air time.
我拒絕在錄播時多說他哪怕一秒
So then let's start with the event
那咱們開始說說那個
that made your reputation as a crusader for change,
讓你名聲急轉直上的事件
the Briarcliff exposé.
揭露荊棘崖
We good to go, everyone?
我們準備開始，各位準備好了嗎
Honey, hand me that mirror, will you?
親愛的，遞給我那塊鏡子，好嗎
I like to do my own eyebrows.
我想修下眉
How do I look?
我看起來如何
Like a million bucks.
百萬美元寶貝
But they're still not gonna let us
但他們還是不會讓我們
in that front door with a camera.
帶著攝像機從前門進
Oh, I know how to get in.
我知道怎么進去
Jesus, how did you find this place?
天啊，你怎么找到這地的
Listen, when we get inside, no matter what happens,
聽著，我們進去以后，無論發生什么
or what anybody says, you keep shooting.
或者別人說什么，你們繼續保持攝像
We need to document the conditions, the filth,
我們需要用影像證明這里的情況，這些污穢
these people are forced to live in.
這些被迫關于此的人們
I want the footage to shock the public
我要這些連續的鏡頭震驚公眾
out of their complacency, you understand?
擊碎他們的自滿，你們明白嗎
I want moral outrage.
我要在道德上激起他們的憤怒感
I want to put America in the asylum.
我要把美國民眾放進瘋人院
The fact that you would voluntarily
事實上你自愿
go back into the place where you almost died,
回到這個你差點喪命的地方
that's why you were held in such high esteem
這就是為什么你被全美和同行
by all of America and your peers.
賦予如此高的評價的原因
Did you always have this need for justice?
你總是充滿正義嗎
That's the myth.
那些是虛構的
Lana Winters, crusader.
拉娜·溫特斯，改革者
It was a story that I helped to perpetuate,
這是一個更適于流傳下去的故事
but, uh, it's time I come clean.
但，是時候說清真相了
It wasn't justice
并不是正義感
that got me back to Briarcliff.
讓我回到荊棘崖
It was ambition.
是野心，是抱負
I knew my future wasn't in print.
我知道我的未來不會在出版業
You had an abrupt career change.
你的職業突然轉變
I knew television was the future.
我深信電視業才是未來
So I got started in local news,
所以我從地方新聞開始做起
then an NBC affiliate
然后在NBC下屬公司工作
before I landed my own series of investigative reports.
之后則是我自己的調查報告節目
America Unmasked.
《揭露美國》
With TV, words,
電視出現后，語言
they're less important.
就沒那么重要了
You need something people can see,
你需要觀眾看見
visual stimulation,
要有視覺沖擊
and believe me, there is nothing more stimulating
相信我，沒有比看到瘋子
than crazy people.
更有沖擊力的了
But you need more than that.
但這還遠遠不夠
You need an angle, a hook.
還需要切入角度和宣傳手段
And boy, did I have a doozy.
我的節目堪稱完美
I heard from very reliable sources that Sister Jude,
據可靠消息稱，裘德修女
the nun that imprisoned me at Briarcliff, was still alive.
那個在荊棘崖監禁我的修女，她還活著
In fact, she had become a patient there herself.
實際上，她自己成了那里的病人
I was going to go into that snake pit
我要重回瘋人院
and rescue her from the very place she had me committed.
把她從那個曾經監禁我的地方救出來
Milo, I told you to keep rolling.
麥洛，跟你說過要一直對著拍
Get the camera up and pointed at me.
舉起攝像機，對準我
At Briarcliff Manor,
在荊棘崖莊園
it's not uncommon to see patients left on their own
連續幾個小時對病人放任不管
without supervision, without stimulation, for hours on end.
無人監督，無人激勵的場景比比皆是
The squalor, the filth,
這所瘋人院
the decay of this institution
骯臟，污穢，腐朽的環境
is a shocking indictment
是馬薩諸塞州政府
of the abandonment of her most needy
將其貧困地區徹底遺棄的
by the state of Massachusetts.
有力控訴
The Church sold Briarcliff Manor
教會在1965年秋天
to the state of Massachusetts in the fall of 1965.
把荊棘崖莊園賣給馬薩諸塞州政府
Since then, conditions have deteriorated.
從那時起，情況便開始惡化
The images and sounds are far more...
這些畫面和聲音遠比...
Ready? You need a slate?
你還行嗎，要不要墊石板
Are...
你是...
Yeah, are you sleeping? Come on.
你是睡著了嗎，快點
Three, two, one.
三，二，一
The Church sold Briarcliff Manor
教會在1965年秋天
to the state of Massachusetts in the fall of 1965.
把荊棘崖莊園賣給馬薩諸塞州政府
Since then, conditions have deteriorated.
從那時起，情況便開始惡化
These images and sounds are far more powerful
這些畫面和聲音遠比
than any words that can be spoken.
任何言語都有說服力
But how can I describe to you the way it smells?
但我該怎么跟你們形容這里的味道呢
It reeks of filth, of disease.
是骯臟和疾病的臭味
It smells of death.
死亡的味道
Who are you?
你們是干嘛的
Do you...
你們
have permission to do this?
有權在這里拍攝嗎
You are the first attendant we've seen
你是我們來這里之后
the entire time we've been here.
見到的第一位醫護人員
Is it the policy to leave patients unclothed and unclean,
讓病人們衣衫不整，骯臟污穢
some of them smeared in their own feces?
有些人身上沾著自己的排泄物是你們的政策嗎
Uh... I'm sorry, there's...
很抱歉，只是
just too many for us to take care of.
我們要照顧的人太多了
Right now I'm interested in one.
現在我只對其中一個人有興趣
I demand to see Judy Martin.
我要見朱迪·馬汀
Give me some light.
把燈打開
Sister Jude.
裘德修女
Judy Martin?
朱迪·馬汀
Do you remember me?
你還記得我嗎
You were committed to Briarcliff
你被派到荊棘崖
to cover up the abuses the church and science
掩飾教會與科學
had perpetrated against patients here.
對病人的虐待
You were left to die.
他們留你在這等死
Alone.
孤獨終老
Abandoned.
無人眷顧
I've come back to help you.
我是回來幫你的
I'm going to get you out of here, Sister Jude.
我要帶你離開這里，裘德修女
It's okay.
沒事了
Lana... Banana.
拉娜·布拉娜
Such a powerful scene you describe.
你描繪的畫面太有沖擊力了
I'm embarrassed to say I don't remember it.
其實很不好意思，我都不記得了
That's because it never happened.
因為這事根本就沒發生
By the time I got to Briarcliff,
我到荊棘崖的時候
Jude was gone.
裘德已經不在了
I should've gone back sooner.
我應該早點去的
But you did shut down Briarcliff.
但你關掉了荊棘崖
Yes, but it's not the ending I wanted.
的確，但這并不是我想要的結果
It was one hell of an ending,
總算是結束了
just not the one I wanted.
但并不是我想要的方式
And there's your promo.
這里你們應該插播廣告了
Let's take a break. I need to freshen up.
我們休息一會兒吧，我想調整一下
Ms. Winters needs a break.
溫特斯女士需要休息一下
Five and we're back.
五分鐘后我們繼續
Would you like something to drink?
想喝點什么
I'd love a sparkling water.
請給我一杯蘇打水
Would you get Ms. Winters a sparkling water, please?
請給溫特斯女士拿一杯蘇打水來
Thanks.
謝謝
You're a doll.
你真乖
My pleasure, Ms. Winters.
是我的榮幸，溫特斯女士
Kit. Holy shit.
基特，老天爺啊
Lana!
拉娜
I was just watching the news.
我剛才還在看新聞呢
You did it.
你做到了
You really did it.
你真的做到了
You shut down Briarcliff.
你把荊棘崖關了
What the hell's this?
這是什么
I wanted them to capture our reunion.
我希望他們能記錄下我們重逢的畫面
And I have a few questions I'd like to ask you.
而且我還有幾個問題想問你
Questions? Yes.
問題，是的
Like who's Betty Drake?
貝蒂·德瑞克是誰
And is she here?
她在這里嗎
I'll talk to you, Lana,
我會告訴你的，拉娜
but... but I'm not gonna talk to your camera.
但是，我不會對著你的攝像機說
Where'd you find this?
你從哪找到的
I was still trying to find Jude.
我還在尋找裘德
But of course
當然了
Jude hadn't existed for years.
裘德很多年前就不存在了
The Monsignor saw to that.
主教親自負責料理的
I had no idea who I was even looking for anymore.
我都不知道我在找的到底是誰
And then I found this.
后來我就發現了這個
Betty Drake,
貝蒂·德瑞克
released to the care of Kit Walker,
在1970年3月27日
March 27, 1970.
被基特·沃克領走
That was just a few months after
就在你來簽名會找我的
you came to see me at the book signing.
幾個月之后
It's Jude, isn't it?
是裘德，是不是
Why do you care now, Lana?
你現在還在乎這些做什么，拉娜
We all just part of your story?
我們都是你故事的一部分嗎
It's not just my story, Kit.
并不只是我的故事，基特
It's yours, too. And hers.
是你的，也是她的
You went back for her.
你回去找她
Why?
為什么
'Cause it was something I could do.
因為這是我可以做的
I mean, I couldn't shut the place down,
我不能關了那地方
I couldn't lead them all out of there like Moses.
也不能像摩西那樣帶他們脫離苦海
But, Jude, whatever she was,
但是對于裘德，不管她曾經如何
she didn't belong there any more than we did.
她跟我們一樣，都不屬于那里
I couldn't just leave her there.
我不能把她丟在那不管
After Alma died, I... started visiting her there.
從艾爾瑪死后，我就經常去看她
At least once a week.
每周至少去一次
Sometimes twice.
有時候是兩次
There was still life there.
她還活著
There was still someone buried deep inside.
在她內心深處仍然有著自我
But I knew that life wouldn't last long
但我知道如果沒有人把她帶出來的話
if nobody got her out of there.
她活不了多久的
They didn't ask a lot of questions.
他們沒有問太多問題
Think they were just happy to
可能他們也很高興
have one less patient to care for.
又可以少一個需要照顧的病人
You brought her into your home.
你帶她回你家
Why'd you do that?
為什么
After all the indignities she made you suffer?
她讓你受了那么多羞辱
I didn't do it for her.
我這么做不是為了她
I didn't even really do it for me.
甚至不是為了我自己
I did it for the kids.
我這么做是為了孩子們
I needed to be there for them.
他們需要我的陪伴
And the only way I could leave Briarcliff behind
而可以讓我真正放下荊棘崖的方法就是
once and for all was to find some way to forgive.
找一個能讓自己原諒的方式
Someone to forgive.
原諒某個人
Is she dead?
她死了嗎
Go on.
快出去
The first thing we had to do
我們要做的第一件事
was see her through detox.
就是讓她戒掉毒癮
Carrot juice.
胡蘿卜汁
From our garden.
我們花園種的
For a while,
有段日子
things seemed to be going along pretty well,
一切似乎都進展得很好
considering.
我這么覺得
I made a decision to just...
我下定決心
stay the course.
繼續堅持下去
They loved her.
他們愛她
No matter how much she barked at them,
無論她怎么兇他們
they always understood something about her.
他們總是能理解她
So she eventually came around.
那她最終神智清醒了嗎
Well, it got worse before it got better.
在清醒之前，經歷了一段更壞的時期
Told you to start in the corner!
我說了要從角落開始掃
Did you think I wouldn't notice?
你以為我看不到嗎
Come back here, you little shit!
小兔崽子，給我滾過來
I'll cane you!
我打死你個小兔崽子
Hey! This is not Briarcliff,
嘿，這里不是荊棘崖
and you will not hit my kids!
你也不能打我的小孩
Wait a minute.
等等
What's going on here?
這是怎么一回事
No, we do not have a children's ward!
不，我們沒有兒童病房
I told your mother that. I was very clear.
我跟你媽媽說得非常明確
I was very clear! Jude!
我說得非常明確，裘德
You will address me as Sister Jude.
你得叫我裘德修女
You don't fool me, Kit Walker.
你騙不了我的，基特·沃克
I know who you are.
我知道你的底細
I know what you did.
我知道你干了什么
Killer of women.
專殺女人的兇手
No, you get away!
別過來，滾開
Get away from me! I won't go back
離我遠點，我不回
in that hole! I will not!
那個鬼地方，我不要
You can't make me! Thomas!
別想逼我就范，托馬斯
Get your sister and go outside.
帶上你姐姐到外面去
I will not! No, you can't make me!
我不去，我是不會就范的
It's okay, Dad.
沒事的，爸爸
Oh, no...
不
I still don't know what happened in those woods.
我至今不知道他們在林子里發生了什么事
When they came back...
等他們回來的時候
something was different.
情況就好多了
Grace was right.
格蕾絲說得對
Those children are special.
我的孩子們很特別
Okay, I'm gonna teach you a new step.
好，現在教你一套新的舞步
Okay. Ready?
準備好了嗎
Toe, heel, step back.
腳尖，腳跟，后退
Okay, now, start again, watch me.
好，現在再來一遍，看好我
You're left, and I'm right.
你出左腳，我出右腳
Because women are always right.
因為女人總是對的
All right?
準備好
Five, six, seven, eight.
五，六，七，八
Now spin me.
帶我轉圈
Don't say I never taught you nothing.
別說你沒從我這學到什么
Daddy, dance with me.
爸爸，和我跳舞
Come over here!
過來吧
Thomas! Come here.
托馬斯，過來吧
Let me show this to you.
讓我來教你
Left foot...
左腳
For six months, she taught them how to swing dance
六個月來，她教他們跳搖擺舞
and swear like a sailor.
像水手一樣粗魯地說話
Made Thomas learn to sew
讓托馬斯學針線活
and took away Julia's dolls
還沒收了茱莉亞的娃娃
and gave her trucks so she'd grow up tough.
給她玩玩具卡車，培養她的堅毅
I don't know
也許
if those last six months made up
這六個月補償了
for a lifetime of horrors...
那段終身難忘的恐怖經歷
...but she sure seemed happy.
不過她肯定是快樂的
Come here.
過來
Come here, you two.
你們倆都過來
Come here.
過來
I got a few more things to tell you, okay?
我還有些話要跟你們說
Julia...
茱莉亞
...don't you ever...
千萬別
ever let a man tell you who you are...
別讓一個男人來告訴你你是誰
or make you feel...
或者讓你覺得
...like you are less than he is.
你配不上他
It's 1971.
已經七十年代了
And you can do anything you want.
你能做任何你想做的事
Okay? You understand?
好嗎，知道了嗎
And, Thomas...
還有托馬斯
don't pick your nose...
別用手挖鼻子
and never take a job just for the money.
工作別只為了錢
Find something...
找到...
that you love.
你真正熱愛的
Do something you want.
做你想做的事情
Okay, boy?
好嗎，孩子
Oh, I don't need that.
我不需要這個
It's mushroom barley.
是蘑菇大麥湯
You got to eat something.
你得吃點東西
No, I don't.
不，我不需要
Kids, why don't you go pile up the leaves in the yard?
孩子們，去院子里整理落葉吧
I'm staying with Nana.
我要和奶奶呆在一起
No, you guys, you should go outside and play.
不，孩子們，你們該去外面玩兒了
Go on.
快去吧
Kit Walker...
基特·沃克
you're a lucky man.
你是個幸運的人
You better not screw them up.
可別把這一切毀了
I'm here.
我在這兒
I'm not going to leave you alone.
我不會留你獨自一人的
I'm not... I'm not alone.
我... 我不是一個人
She's here for me.
她在這兒陪我呢
I don't know who she was talking about.
我不知道她說的是誰
I do.
我知道
Jude...
裘德
we've been doing this dance for so many years.
我們來來往往已經這么多年了
Are you sure you're ready this time?
這次你真的準備好了嗎
I'm sure.
我確定
I'm ready now.
我準備好了
Kiss me.
吻我吧
I have a feeling we're about
我感覺到我們要進入
to enter the hardhitting part of the interview.
最有看點的采訪環節了
It was the pen, wasn't it?
是因為我拿出了筆，對吧
No need to take notes on powderpuff questions.
一般的問題不需要記筆記
You got me, but I'm gonna ask anyway.
真被你說對了，但我還是要問
If shutting down Briarcliff
如果關閉荊棘崖
was such an undeniable success,
是你一生中公認的成功之舉
your next exposé was, to put it mildly,
那你接下來揭露的事，說得委婉點
controversial.
就很有爭議了
I think half of New York wanted to lynch me,
我相信一半的紐約人都想我死
and the other half would have had me banned from the state.
剩下的希望則不想我再踏入紐約半步
Can we talk about what happened with Cardinal Howard?
我們能聊聊紅衣主教霍華德嗎
At the time, he was a powerhouse,
那時，他是權威人士
a rising star in the church.
是教會里一顆冉冉升起的新星
The man had avoided me for weeks.
他躲我了好幾周
I went through all the official channels,
我走了所有的官方渠道
but he ignored every request I made for an interview.
但他忽視了我所有的采訪請求
So, finally, I cornered him on his way to Easter Mass.
所以最后我在他去復活節彌撒的路上堵到了他
Cardinal Howard.
霍華德主教
I have nothing to say to you, Miss Winters.
我沒什么要對你說的，溫特斯小姐
With or without your comments, I'm airing a report
無論你作何回應，我都會在明晚
tomorrow night on Dr. Arthur Arden,
播出亞瑟·奧爾頓醫生的專題報道
a man you hired to run the medical unit at Briarcliff.
他是你聘請到荊棘崖的醫療主管
We finally gained access to his files.
我們最終拿到了他的檔案
Did you know he was conducting human experiments?
你知道他做人體實驗嗎
We found some very disturbing evidence.
我們發現了一些可怕的證據
Cardinal... Would you mind switching that off, please?
紅衣主教... 能把攝像機關了嗎
A number of patients disappeared under his care.
在他任職期間，很多病人失蹤了
Do you have any idea what happened to them?
你知道他們遭遇了什么嗎
It was over seven years ago.
都過去七年多了
You can't expect me to remember
我怎么可能還記得
anything about patients I wasn't responsible for.
那些病人，這事跟我沒關系
I'm afraid you are responsible.
恐怕你脫不了干系
Everything that happened at Briarcliff
荊棘崖的所有可怕事件
happened under your authority.
都是在你管轄期間發生的
And there is no statute of limitations
而對謀殺案來說，是沒有
on murder, Cardinal Howard.
訴訟時效這一說的，霍華德主教
The police have found remains,
警察在荊棘崖外的樹林里
human bones in the woods outside Briarcliff.
發現了尸體和人的骨頭
They're going to start asking hard questions.
他們會開始嚴厲拷問
And since the notorious Dr. Arden has disappeared,
由于臭名昭著的奧爾頓醫生已經失蹤
they're going to be looking to you for answers.
你就成了他們的審問對象
Get out of my way. What are you running from, Cardinal Howard?
別擋路，你在逃避什么，霍華德主教
Out of the way, Miss Winters!
讓開，溫特斯小姐
What are you running from? Happy Easter.
你在逃避什么，復活節快樂
Answer the question.
請回答我的問題
To this day, people still
直到今天，人們仍然
blame you for what happened to him.
把他的死怪到你頭上
I've got broad shoulders, but I can't take credit
我敢作敢當，但真不該把
for what his guilty conscience made him do.
他因為良心發現而自盡的事歸咎于我
The kind who lies to himself about being a liar.
那種自欺欺人的人
He was so corrupt and deluded, he believed his own lies.
他如此腐敗，倍受蒙蔽，活在自己的謊言里
Lies are like scars on your soul.
謊言就像心靈的傷痕
They destroy you.
謊言會毀了你
I have a feeling we're not just talking
我們好像沒有在
about Cardinal Howard anymore.
談論霍華德紅衣主教
Is there something you'd like to share with us?
你還有什么要告訴我們的嗎
I'm going to come clean about a lie I've told for over 40 years.
我想要坦白一個我說了四十年的謊
In my book Maniac,
在《瘋子》這本書中
I write about the abuse,
我寫了我被虐待
the rape, the pregnancy.
被強奸，最后還懷了孕的事
I say that the baby died in childbirth.
我說那孩子在分娩時夭折了
I even wrote about a kind of poetic justice
我甚至寫道這孩子死了
that the child hadn't lived.
是老天有眼
That child is alive.
但這孩子并沒死
I didn't raise him, but someone did.
有人替我將他養育成人
Don't ask me to do that again.
我一直內疚不已
He'll need to learn how to live without me.
他得學會沒有我也能生活
I just prayed really hard
我只是努力祈禱
that somebody else could give him
有人能給予他
the kind of mothering he'd need.
母愛的關懷
I couldn't muster it.
我記不得他的名字了
I tried, but I couldn't.
我努力想過，但還是記不得
That's quite a secret, Lana.
拉娜，這真是個驚天秘密
The only person I've told is Marian.
這秘密我只告訴過瑪麗安
Do you mind if I ask,
你介意我問一下
has there been any contact since?
自那之后你還見過他嗎
There was a period in the mid'70s where I suffered
在70年代中期有段時間
a terrible remorse about giving him up.
我非常懊悔拋棄了他
I used all my skills as a sleuth,
我用了所有的手段
which are myriad as we know, to track him down.
可以說是無數的手段，來找他
I just needed to see him. I didn't have a plan.
我只想見見他，沒別的打算
What you got in here? You like dinosaurs?
這里面有些什么，你喜歡恐龍嗎
You want to suck a brontosaurus dick?
想嘗嘗雷龍大屌嗎
Shut up, asshole!
混蛋，閉嘴
Who are you calling asshole, faggot?
你說誰混蛋呢，死基佬
Hey, you, you little shit. You back off before I hurt you
你個小混蛋，快給我滾開
in ways you haven't even dreamt of.
要不然我就好好給你顏色看看
Are you all right?
你還好嗎
Yeah, I'm fine.
還好
You know he's the asshole, right?
他就是個混蛋，對吧
Yeah, I know.
對，我知道
You should report him.
你應該打他小報告
That was the last time I saw him.
那是我最后一次見他
I wasn't his mother.
我不是他母親
Not in any meaningful way.
任何意義上都不算
I would only confuse him.
我只會讓他疑惑
But I thought about him so often.
但我總會想起他
Wondering where he was.
想想他在何處
How he turned out.
會成為怎樣的人
Did you ever think about having children after that?
從那之后你還想過要小孩嗎
It was a different time for gay women.
對于女同性戀來說有些不同
Most of us were resigned to not having children.
我們大部分人都覺得不該要孩子
But I was close to my friends' children.
但我和我朋友的孩子都很親近
In fact, Kit Kit Walker
其實是基特，基特·沃克
he asked me to be godmother to his kids.
他讓我做孩子們的教母
Kit got married again.
基特再婚了
He met a great girl named Allison down at the coop.
他在合作社遇到了一個叫作艾利森的好姑娘
I don't know who loved her more Kit or those kids.
我不知道誰更愛她，是基特還是孩子們
Kit always believed the kids were destined for great things.
但基特總是相信孩子們注定為美好事物而生
They grew up with that message, and they lived up to it.
他們帶著這條啟示成長，也沒有辜負它
Thomas is a law professor at Harvard.
托馬斯是哈佛大學的一名法學教授
Julie is a leading neurosurgeon at John Hopkins.
朱莉是約翰·霍普金斯大學的神經外科醫生帶頭人
Kit would be so proud of them.
基特很為他們自豪
Is he no longer with us?
他還健在嗎
When he was around 40, he developed pancreatic cancer.
大概40歲的時候，他罹患胰腺癌
By the time they found it,
發現的時候
the tumor had metastasized to the liver.
癌細胞已擴散到肝臟
They gave him chemo, but...
他接受了化療，但
it was just a waiting game.
只能說他是在等死
The kids both offered to look after him,
孩子們都提出要照顧他
but he wouldn't hear of it.
但他已經聽不到了
In those last months, he seemed more peaceful
那最后幾個月，是我見過他
than I'd ever seen him.
最安寧的日子
And then the strangest thing happened.
但接下來發生了最奇怪的事情
He disappeared.
他消失了
I don't understand.
我不懂
No one did.
也沒人懂
And no one could explain exactly what happened.
沒人能解釋究竟發生了什么
No note, no tracks, no clues.
不告而別，無影無蹤，杳無音信
And no funeral.
也沒舉行葬禮
Kit's children insisted there was no reason to mourn.
因為基特的孩子堅持認為沒有哀悼的必要
Ms. Winters, I can't tell you what an honor
溫特斯女士，能采訪到您
this has been for me.
我深感榮幸
Oh, try not to, darling.
別這么說，親愛的
I just hope you got what you need.
我也希望你不虛此行
Are you kidding? I thought we'd just
當然了，我本以為只是老生常談
be doing your greatest hits,
回顧一下您的那些偉大成就
but all the personal stuff
沒想到那些私人經歷
fantastic, unexpected and very moving.
也同樣不可思議，感人至深
See you at the Kennedy Center.
我們肯尼迪中心再見
Can I pour you a drink?
要來一杯嗎
Why don't you come out now?
你現在可以出來了
You don't need to hide.
不要再躲了
Not anymore.
別再躲著了
Let's get this over with, shall we?
這件事也該做個了結了，對吧
So I guess you've had a pretty great life, huh?
你的人生還真是了不起呢，是吧
It's been eventful.
倒不如說是命途多舛
It's about to end.
更不如說是命不久矣
You get that, right?
你懂的吧
I knew it the moment I saw you.
我一見到你，就都明白了
Mind if I ask you something?
能問你幾句話嗎
No.
當然
I don't mind.
請問吧
How did you manage to get yourself on the crew?
你是怎么混進剛剛那個工作組的
That shit was easy.
輕松愉快啊
I've been waiting outside the building,
我一直在大樓外守著
got friendly with the doorman,
和看門的大叔搞好關系之后
he told me about the interview.
他就把采訪的事告訴了我
When the first guy showed up at dawn
天剛亮的時候就來了一個人
the guy with the doughnuts
手上還拿著甜甜圈
I cut his throat.
我割斷了他的喉嚨
He's in the trash bin.
尸體還在垃圾箱躺著呢
This isn't how I pictured it. Really?
我想像中的母子相逢不是這樣的，是嗎
Because this is exactly how I pictured it.
現在的場景倒是和我想象中的一模一樣
I always knew this day would come.
我知道這一天終歸會來的
I didn't think you'd recognize me.
我以為你認不出我的
How did you?
你怎么認出來的
Oh, Johnny.
小約翰尼
How could I not recognize my own baby boy?
我怎么可能連親生骨肉都認不出
I've never seen him before in my life.
我從沒見過這個人
His name's Johnny Morgan.
他叫約翰尼·摩根
48 years old, unmarried.
今年四十八歲，未婚
In and out of jail since his teens.
從少年開始，就常常作奸犯科
Nothing major till now.
不過都不是什么重罪
We think he's responsible for the deaths
但現在我們懷疑
of at least five people.
他與至少五起殺人案有關
Including the elderly couple who lived
其中包括殺害一對住在
in the house formerly owned by Oliver Thredson.
奧利弗·史萊森故居中的老夫婦
The place you were held at and tortured
溫特斯女士，也就是1964年時
in '64, Ms. Winters.
您被關押和受折磨的地方
Are you sure you don't recognize him?
您確定不認識這個人
No.
不認識
You look like him, you know?
知道嗎，你長得很像他
Your father.
你的父親
It's easy for me to forget
可惜我常常忘了
just how handsome he was.
他是那樣一個帥哥
Until you shot him in the head.
可惜他被你一槍爆頭
Yes, I shot him in the head.
是啊，我殺了他
How did you find out?
你怎么知道的
That you murdered my father?
知道你怎么殺了我父親的嗎
About who you were.
知道你的身世
Who told you?
誰告訴你的
You did.
就是你啊
That day
那天
on the playground.
在操場上
I felt something.
我就有所察覺
And I saw you on the TV.
然后我在電視上看到了你
"That's my mother," I'd tell people.
我跟大家說，那是我媽媽
And they'd just laugh at me, but I knew.
別人都嘲笑我，可我知道那是真的
And I dreamed one day that you'd come back.
我一直盼望有一天，你能再來找我
Then I heard the tape,
可我卻聽到了一盤錄音帶
and, uh... I knew you never would.
于是我明白了，你永遠不會回來了
What tape?
什么錄音帶
I found it on eBay.
易趣網上找到的
This monster you planted inside me, i'm getting rid of it,
我要除掉你在我體內留的賤種
and since I'm stuck here,
既然我被困在這鬼地方
I'm gonna have to get creative with this coat hanger.
我就要發揮創造力了，就用這個衣鉤
Lana, no. Lana, no, please!
拉娜，不要，不要，求你了
This is a mercy killing, Oliver.
這可是安樂死，奧利弗
No baby should have to grow up knowing Daddy is Bloody Face.
孩子不該在爸爸是血臉殺手這個認知中長大
My father loved me.
我爸爸他愛我
I could hear it in his voice.
我能從他的聲音中聽出他的愛
That's when I started loving him
從那時起我就開始愛他
and hating you.
而恨你了
He never loved you, Johnny.
他從沒愛過你，約翰尼
And you did?
難道你愛過
No, I didn't love you.
不，我沒愛過你
I couldn't.
我做不到
That's why I gave you up
所以我才拋棄了你
so you'd have some shot at a life.
這樣你的人生也許會有新的機會
You'd have a chance at a life, you mean!
你是想說你會有新的機會
Right?
是嗎
This fancy life!
這繁榮富貴的生活
Without me!
沒有我的生活
So what's it going to be, Johnny?
所以你想怎么處置我，約翰尼
I don't imagine, at my age,
我想，我這一大把年紀
you'd be much interested in the skin.
你估計對我的皮膚不會感興趣
I've thought about this.
我想過該怎么處置你
I've thought about this a lot.
我以前時常幻想這一場景
My own gun I wasn't expecting that.
我自己的槍，這我倒是沒想過
Your father once told me he didn't believe in guns.
你父親曾對我說過，他不相信槍
Of course, he was lying about that, too.
當然了，他這也是撒謊
You don't get to talk about him.
你不許談論他
What are you so afraid of, Johnny?
你到底在害怕什么，約翰尼
The truth about him
你怕聽到有關他的真相
or the truth about you?
還是有關你的真相
I just want him to be proud of me.
我想讓他以我為榮
I...
我
I can't measure up.
我不夠格
No...
不
Johnny.
約翰尼
He was a monster.
他是個怪物
No. Yes, he was.
不是的，不必抵賴，他就是
No, he wasn't.
不，他不是
Yes he was, baby.
他是怪物，寶貝
But that's not you.
但你不是
You could never be like him.
你跟他遠遠不同
Not that...
那個我在操場上
sweet little boy
遇到的可愛的男孩
I met on the playground.
絕對跟他不同
Even then, I knew you were a better man than he was.
從那時起，我就知道你比他要善良
It's not just him that's in you.
你身上不只有他的血脈
I'm a part of you, too.
也有我的一部分
I've hurt people.
我傷害過別人
It's not your fault, baby.
這不是你的錯，寶貝
It's mine.
是我的錯
She's talking about the maniac, Bloody Face.
她在說那個瘋子，血臉殺手
I heard he's going to be admitted here today.
我聽說他今天會被押送過來
You're out of your depth,
你越界了
Miss Lana Banana.
拉娜·布拉娜女士
You want a story? Write this down.
你想要故事，那就寫這個吧
A girl like you, you like to dream large.
像你這樣的女孩，總是好高騖遠
I'd venture you already have Briarcliff in your rearview mirror.
我猜你早就把荊棘崖的故事構思好了
You make ambition sound like a sin.
你把雄心壯志說得跟一種罪行一樣
No, I'm saying it's dangerous.
不，我是說這很危險
What about you?
那你呢
Saving the souls of madmen and killers
拯救瘋子和謀殺犯的靈魂
is a pretty lofty ambition, wouldn't you say?
是個不小的雄心呢，你說呢
And you cannot imagine what it took to get here.
你絕對想不到要做到這一步有多難
I'd love to hear your story someday.
改天我想聽聽你的故事
No.
不
I don't think you and I are destined to meet again.
我想我們注定不會再見了
But I do hope you know what you're in for.
不過我希望你能清楚今后遇到的困境
The loneliness,
孤獨
the heartbreak,
心碎
the sacrifice you'll face as a woman
以及犧牲，這是有夢想的女人
with a dream on her own.
今后必將面對的
You don't have any idea what I'm capable of.
你不清楚我的能耐
Well, then.
那么
Look at you, Miss Lana Banana.
瞧瞧你啊，拉娜·布拉娜
Just remember...
要記住
...if you look in the face of evil.
當你與邪惡四目相對
evil's going to look right back at you.
你也必將沾染邪惡
Please, after you.
請吧，我隨后
