評論
打印
I'm late, I know.
我遲到了，我知道
I just got a text from Chestnut.
我剛接到栗寶的短信
"Where are you? I'm wearing my best suit."
他問："你們在哪呢？我穿著最好的西裝恭候大駕呢"
He spelled suit with a four, but that's pretty good for a horse.
他把西裝打成"四"裝，不過馬蹄打字，情有可原
I have a good reason.
我有正當理由
15 chicken pot pies. Regular price: $1.47. Coupon price: Free!
15個雞肉餅，原價1塊47分，折價后，免費
'Cause I bought 15 and used the double coupon in-store sale combo.
因為我買了15個，用雙倍折價券正好免費
Listen to me with the lingo already.
瞧我折價界行話說的多溜啊
Reminds me of my first day interning on Wall Street.
讓我想起去華爾街實習的第一天
Chicken pot pies? You don't even like them.
雞肉餅？你自己都不愛吃
What does it matter if I like them or not? They were free.
我愛不愛吃又如何？反正是免費的
It's free money. Who doesn't like free money?
不要錢啊。誰不喜歡天上掉餡餅的好事
I don't know about free money,
天上有沒有掉餡餅我不知道
but this is like watching someone free base for the first time.
我只知道某人看起來像第一次嘗到毒品甜頭似的
Chestnut's fine. It's not a big deal.
栗寶沒事的。晚個一天又不會怎么樣
Ooh, oh, I just got another text from Chestnut.
哎喲，栗寶又給我發來一條短信
"I'm so lonely, I just tried smoking."
"我好孤單哦，唯有以煙慰籍"
We can go tomorrow.
我們可以明天去看他嘛
In the Lifetime movie version, we just missed the day we were appointed by the court,
如果這是生活臺的劇，那劇情就是，我們錯過法庭指定的日子
and Chestnut's new parents move him out of town. And we cry.
現在栗寶要被新爸媽帶去別城市了。然后我們淚灑當場
I get it, it's just that after last night,
我明白，只是昨晚嘗過甜頭后
I woke up fascinated by the concept of coupons.
我就對折價券的好念念不忘，連醒來都想著
So I did some research.
所以我上網搜了下
I found this woman online who calls herself the Williamsburg Coupon Queen.
搜到網上有名奇女子自封為"威廉斯堡折價券女皇"
Only she calls them "Cue-pons." Is that the correct way to pronounce it?
只不過她念成折"家"券。難道那樣才是正確的念法嗎
Eh, I'm gonna go with her way after all, she is the queen.
算了，我也那樣念吧。畢竟人家才是女皇嘛
Canned pumpkin?
罐裝南瓜
Ten cans, double coupon, five cents each.
10罐，雙倍折扣后，5分錢一罐
Great, 'cause I'm always lying in bed at night thinking I wish I could crack open a can of pumpkin.
太好了，我一直有個晚上躺床上想著要能開一罐南瓜會有多爽的夢呢
Oh, and I found a coupon for you to send your mom an edible arrangement for her birthday.
我找到了個折"家"券，你可以送給你媽，一個可自選的花籃當生日禮物
A pretty pineapple daisy says so much more than cash in a card.
一朵鳳梨雕的雛菊比賀卡夾現金有意義多了
And it's for 40% off the regular price.
而且能打六折呢
That's perfect because my mom was 40% off a regular mom.
太巧了，我媽也是個六折媽
And Max, I do have something else for you in this bag.
麥克斯，袋子里還有要給你的小禮物哦
Somet'hing that'll make you very happy.
你見了包準欣喜若狂喲
Canned yams for when I get tired of canned pumpkin?
開膩南瓜罐后，換口味的地瓜罐嗎
Better, look.
比那個還棒，你瞧
Look out, Han Lee. I'm about to get my tamp on.
接招吧，李憨。老娘要"棉"起抗戰啦
