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Here you go Earl.
給 厄爾
Table 12 throwing down a credit card on a patty melt.
十二桌的客人就點了個肉餅還要刷卡
They really need those eight airline miles?
他們是有多需要這八英里呀
Where they going... New Jersey?
難不成是想飛去新澤西嗎
Credit cards are the downfall of America.
信用卡是美國沒落的原因
Well, credit cards and Kim Kardashian.
應該說信用卡與金·卡戴珊
I like her big ass as much as the next man,
我跟普通男人一樣，都喜歡她的大屁股
but don't go give the damn butt a franchise.
但把屁股拿出來賣就不對了
Max I can take a lot.
麥克斯 我自認承受力強
Please keep your sex life to yourself.
你的性能力自己知道就好
I handled it when I lost my fortune
我身敗名裂的時候 我挺住了
and I handled it when I lost my fortune.
我身敗名裂的時候 我真的挺住了
You said that twice.
你說了兩遍
Because I think it bears repeating.
因為我覺得這值得再三強調
But this is too much.
但是這個 我實在挺不住了
That couple that just left...a $50 check
剛走的那對情侶消費了五十塊
a $1.47 tip.
卻只留下一塊四毛七的小費
47 cents?
四毛七呀
Uh I wasn't even aware they were still making pennies.
原來還有在鑄造這么小面額的硬幣啊
I smiled and bent over backwards giving them service...
我笑臉迎人 卑躬屈膝 難道我的服務
all for $1.47?
就值一塊四毛七嗎
This makes me the lowest paid hooker in New York.
我就這么成了紐約最廉價的妓女
All right give me that check. I'll handle this.
好啦 把賬單給我 我來搞定
Was something wrong with the service my girl over here gave you?
我同事的服務有什么不周到的地方嗎
No. Tipping's an option.
沒 給你多少小費是我的自由
So is me spitting in your food.
在你食物里吐口水也是我的自由
You might want to remember that the next time
下次用硬幣打發服務員時
you leave a waitress pennies.
麻煩記住這點
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
抱歉 我并不知情
This was our first and last date.
這是我們初次 也會是最后一次約會
Sorry dude.
抱歉 伙計
Looks like this little tip
這個故事告訴你
just lost you the chance to give her your little tip.
舍不得銀子上不著妞呀
