評(píng)論
打印
Guess what I did today?
猜猜我今天干了啥
Jesus?
干了耶穌嗎
What do you think?
你覺得呢
I think the bed still isn't built.
我覺得床還沒裝好
No but it's almost finished.
沒錯(cuò) 但是也快完工了
Notice anything different about me?
發(fā)現(xiàn)我有什么不一樣嗎
I have answer.
我知道答案
You had boob job.
你隆胸了
Your "B"s have turned into "C"s
你的罩杯由B升級(jí)到C了
and for that I give you an "A."
對(duì)此 我要給你一個(gè)A
No I had my uniform altered.
不 我把制服改了
Yes life dealt me a bad uniform
沒錯(cuò) 人生扔給我一套不合身的制服
but with a little vision
但是發(fā)揮一下想象力
I can shape it the way it works best for me.
我可以把它改到最能展現(xiàn)我身段的樣子
That should be a tip in your inspirational book
你要是寫勵(lì)志書 可以寫上這個(gè)
which I'm guessing is called
溫馨小貼士
cutting pictures out of magazines
"從雜志上剪圖片"
isn't just for serial killers anymore.
"再不是連環(huán)殺手的專利"
And this is exciting... look.
還有一件高興的事 瞧
The other really important thing I did today...
今天我做的另一件重要的事
made us business cards.
就是給咱們印了名片
Now you can give one to Peach
現(xiàn)在你可以拿去給琵琪
and throw our hat into the party ring.
讓她把咱們列入候選名單中
You're her babysitter. You already have a connection.
你是她的保姆 還能走個(gè)后門
Yeah a connection to her babies' asses.
對(duì)啊 直通她寶寶的"后門"
See? That's your limited vision.
瞧 這就是你不敢做夢(mèng)
Plus Peach is interviewing this gay guy
再說(shuō)了 琵琪正在面試一個(gè)基佬
who used to work for Martha Stewart.
人家以前可是為瑪莎·斯圖爾特工作呢
I mean gay Martha Stewart... we can't top that.
又基又認(rèn)識(shí)瑪莎·斯圖爾特 怎么跟人比啊
Just give her the cards. We have to start somewhere.
就把卡片給她嘛 我們必須得開個(gè)頭
See? "Max's homemade cupcakes."
瞧 "麥克斯自制蛋糕"
And look... "Max Black owner/baker."
還有 "麥克斯·布萊克 店主兼糕點(diǎn)師"
"Owner/baker"?
"店主兼糕點(diǎn)師"
That's pretty cool.
挺酷啊
See? There it is.
瞧 這就是
It's real.
夢(mèng)想照進(jìn)現(xiàn)實(shí)
But the name sucks a big one.
但是這名字太惡心了
"Homemade"... it sounds like homeschooled
"自制" 聽起來(lái)像在家自學(xué)
like we're churning out cupcakes
我們像是在生產(chǎn)
that aren't comfortable around other people.
孤僻不合群的蛋糕
Or it sounds delicious.
也聽起來(lái)很美味啊
And the cupcake on the card has a cherry on it.
而且名片上的小蛋糕還有顆櫻桃
My cupcakes don't have a cherry...
我的"陰桃"早在我十三歲的時(shí)候
haven't since I was 13.
就被人"破"掉了
