評論
打印
Oh you're back.
你回來啦
We thought you ran away.
我們還以為你逃家了呢
Chestnut and I were just about to pick out
我和栗寶都準備要去收容所
another human from the shelter.
再撿個人回來養了
I had quite a day.
今天倒霉死了
8:00 to 10:00... Grind grind pain.
八點至十點 磨 磨 疼
10:00 to 11:00... Pain pain grind.
十點至十一點 疼 疼 磨
So I went to the drug store
所以我去藥店
and bought an $8 bite guard
買了個八塊錢的牙齒保持器
which didn't fit my freaky Tim Burton mouth.
結果不合我恐怖片般的牙型
And when I tried to return it
后來我去退貨的時候
the cashier Rhonda
那個收銀員 朗達
whose nametag said she was happy to help
雖然胸牌上寫著"樂于服務顧客"
but who was neither happy nor helpful
結果卻兇巴巴的 還百般刁難我
said that I couldn't return it
她說不能退貨
because it had already touched my "teef."
因為這玩意兒已經接觸過我的牙"翅"了
For someone whose jaw is about to unhinge
作為一個下巴快掉的人
you're sure flapping it a lot.
你怎么還不少說點話
Why is this rag with my father on it here?
為什么這有份寫我老爸的小報
Don't look at me. Chestnut bought it.
瞪我干嘛 是栗寶買的
He likes it when I read him his daily horse oscope.
他喜歡我給他念每日星"馬"座
Why is everybody so obsessed with the fact that
為什么大家都要對他的閉口不談
he hasn't said anything?
窮追猛打呢
Haven't you ever been at a loss for words?
你沒有過卡殼并無言以對的時候嗎
Tampons yes. Words nah.
卡棉條有過 卡殼倒不會
Well this will make me feel better.
來做件讓自己好受些的事
Whenever I'm in pain I need a treat.
每當我痛苦時 我就得享受一下
You know whenever you're in pain that is my treat.
每當你痛苦時 我都超級享受
Sushi! I hope you like crab roll.
壽司 希望你會喜歡蟹卷
I never had sushi.
我從來沒吃過壽司
That doesn't even make sense.
這根本是是胡扯中的鬼扯
No sushi no dentist... Who are you?
沒吃過壽司 沒看過牙 什么人啊這是
A poor person.
窮人
Sushi's lazy.
壽司沒點技術含量
If I come to your restaurant
要是我去日本餐廳
get up off your ass and cook the damn fish.
一定吼他們去把魚給我煮熟了
I wish we could afford to go to this little sushi place
真希望我們能有錢去
in Tribeca where my father always took me.
我爸以前常帶我去的日本小餐館
We had this little joke.
每次我們進店里
Every time we'd walk in I'd always say...
都會開同一個玩笑 我總會說
And we would just laugh!
然后我們就捧腹大笑
So you're not funny in Japanese either.
所以你說日語也還是冷場女皇
I got this at a corner deli.
我在轉角的熟食店買的
The cashier was Japanese.
那個收銀員是個日本人
She said it was good.
她說這個很好吃
Oh I'm sure it's great.
肯定是真的啊
'Cause the disenfranchised immigrant
因為無公民權利的移民人士
serving the spoiled white girl
服務被寵壞的白人女孩時
would have no reason to lie.
肯定不會騙她
Get ready for something heavenly!
享受美味到上天堂的感覺吧
That's not heaven.
難吃到下地獄
Spit it out.
快吐出來
What a disappointment.
真是太不濟了
Your first time.
你的第一次就這么毀了
Well that's kinda the way it goes with me and first times.
我的"第一次"都是這種下場
Here clean yourself off.
給 把身上擦擦干凈
That's exactly the way it goes!
簡直是歷史重演 一模一樣
