Kate: Mike!
Dwight: Okay, our present account of, by the way, Mike, you did not mention that I had to drive the bus.
Mike: Dwight, you were supposed to drive the bus!
Dwight: Oh, well, that's why that guy was cussing at me while we drove away.
Kate: No, I will NOT participate in anything called a Moon-o-thon. Where are the rooms, all I wanna do is get away from these…screaming banshees, they're dancing on top of the bus.
Mike: No, no, no, no, Carol. You cannot go hide in your room! You and Dwight are here to chaperone!
Carol: (Hysteric) Huh?
Dwight: Yeah, we talked into hygiene, we talked leather hose, but there is no mention of chaperoning?!
Mike: Whoa whoa, excuse me? I went outta my way to get you and Carol this bargain trip? And now when I need you the most, you don't have a couple of extra minutes to keep an eye on some fun-starved kids?
Dwight: That's right. I've been in pain. Selfish, selfish, selfish!
Mike: Much better, ok, now, come here. The boys room is over here on the right, and the girls' on the left. Whatever you do, don't play chess with the big guy.
Dwight: Could I have your attention?
Carol: Mike? This time you've pushed things too far! I only came up here because Dwight said you invited us out of goodness of your heart!

Mike: Carol, you know me for 20 years. Does that sound like me?
Carol: No.
Mike: Now, go, shift!
Kate: Mike? Call me old-fashioned, but twenty kids pouncing the bell hop is not exactly my idea of a romantic weekend.
Mike: Everyone seems to be enjoying it? Don't worry about the kids. They'll be fun.
Lime tongue: Mr. Siever?
Mike: Who are you?
Kate: God!
Mike: I'll be with you in a second, Lime Tongue. Come here, it's gonna be fine, Carol is in charge of the kids, we wont even notice them once they've hit the slope.
Lime tongue: Oh that's what I came to tell you sir, there is no snow. The area is completely shut down. Something to do with tropical depression "Urve" (he means Curve)
Both: No snow?
Lime tongue: You know what! I am excited too, I am allergic to snow. Now we can reak up the chess boards and have a "hoot nanny".
Mike: Look, your hoot master's named Carol, okay? She's not even here, she's tested the ear wax!
Kate: Mike, if these kids can't ski, they'll tear this place apart!
Mike: Kate, Kate, relax! That's the beauty of my plans. It is not our problem, it's Carol's.
Mike: Carol, what happened!??
Carol: It's my ankle.
Luke: She slipped on some ice.
Mike: What, what Ice? There's no ice!
Lime tongue: I spilled my Fanta.
Dwight: Fear nothing, but I am gonna get a doctor, you're in no condition to chaperone.
Kate: Well, Mr-I-like-to-pay-for-the-little-women, looks like you're in charge now?
Lime tongue: Say, why don't you ditch Brillow-head and let's get stupid?

Maggie: Ooh, Jason, just you and I in this big house. All by ourselves.
Jason: Uh-huh
Maggie: Whatever shall we do?
Jason: Well, I don't know.
(alarm siren went off)
Jason: Well, that 's coming from the Creed Martin, must be their stupid house alarm!
Maggie: Did somebody break in?
Jason: Not that I hope so.. Maybe they will shut the alarm off.
Jason on phone: Yeah, Yes, yes, I am calling to report a house alarm going off at 17, Robinhood lane. Yes, I know I have a very nice speaking voice, thank you. No, I don't want you to come over?! I just would like you to notify the police. Could you send somebody over? When? Between twenty minutes and six hours? No, that's ridicule...Uh? Huh!
Jason to Maggie: We got a crisis and the 911 operator is flirting with me.
Maggie: Well, that's unprofessional of her?!
Jason: Him.
Lime tongue (singing):
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
Cuz I took so long to take it
And I'll never have that recipe, again!
Oh noooooo!
Lime tongue: One more time everybody!
Mike: O-kay! Is it 9:30 everybody? It's time to turn in.
Blonde girl: First there is no snow, and now I have to go to bed early? You are worse than my mother!
Hooligan: I paid for a fun weekend, and I am gonna have fun, whether I party, or snow-plough your face! Good night!
Dwight: Oh, carrying you into the room my darling, I do have to go do a bed check.
Carol: This is so romantic, just like in Gone with the wind.
Carol: My Red!
Dwight: My Scarlet.
Luke: My God!!
Kate: We have not had two minutes alone. I have spent more time with green tongue!
Lime tongue: Lime tongue.
Kate: Do something!
Mike: Go, suck an avocado!
Lime tongue: Ooh, Baby!
Mike: Look, Kate, look, I know that the trip not lucky on the start. But we alone now. So, what do you say we make some hot coco, we snuggle by the fire.
Kate: Oh, great!
Mike: Ok, Come on. Hehehe.
All: Go, go, go, go.
Kate: What's that?
Mike: It's just the wind.
Dwight: Oh, I am gonna turn in now, kids are all in bed playing Mix Doubles for cheesy.
Kate: Mix Doubles?
Mike: In their beds?
Dwight: Yeah, so it's up to about Shrimps and Skins.
Kate: He better makes sure no one scores.
(Group Scream).
(House Alarm)
Maggie: Jason, for the umpteenth time, why don't we just check into a hotel?
Jason: Maggie, we are not gonna check into an expensive hotel just because we have Godless neighbours. I better think what to do with my 36:50.
Maggie Oh... Why don't you just block the sound out of your mind? Pretend it's the ocean?!
Jason: Oh, Maggie, the ocean does not make my ears bleed.
Jason on phone: Hello, yea, I've called several times tonight about this house alarm going off, yes; I am the one with the nice speaking voice. Oh great, good, the alarm company's sending somebody over. That's terrific. When; Monday morning?!!! Listen to me: I am the burglar. I am standing in the dining room looking at the china cabinet and if you don't send somebody right away, the gravy boat goes! Sending somebody over… Alright, when? Twenty minutes to six hours??? I uph!
Maggie: Wait a minute. Don't do anything foolish.
Jason: Do you think I look like I am about do something foolish?
(Music theme from Pink Panther)

(Police sirens)
Maggie: Jason!
Police: So you know this clown, huh?
Maggie: Officer, this is no clown, This is a loving husband and a respected psychiatrist.
Police: Which is why he was up a ladder in his pyjamas trying to slap shack your neighbour's burglar alarm.
Jason: When you put it that way it sounds silly. But I had…
Maggie: Officer… it's that alarm, it's driving my husband out of his mind.
Police: A sure trip I am sure.
Maggie: Can't you do something?
Police: I could pistol-whip him?
Maggie: No, no, about the alarm.
Police: Well, uh, my partner is already on that, Ma'am.
Jason: Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're a prince.
Police: Cool it, cool it. Look pal, that stuff may work on 911 operator, but I am a different breed of cat.
Police to Maggie: Ma'am.
Jason: Hey, hey, oooh, oooh, officer!
Kate: Do you know why this whole disaster happened? Because you could have let me pay for a simple trip.
Mike: Uh, Look, Kate, Kate, if it would have just snowed, and if Ben had just invited the Chess Club, Carol hadn't slipped on that Soda, and Lime tongue had not been born!
Kate: Mike! Because of your stupid pig-headed pride, nobody had fun this weekend.
Carol: Oh, oooh, oooooh, hooooh! (as riding Dwight)
Luke: I hope she dismounts him before he drives us home!
Kate: Next time, whoever has the money, pays!
(phone rings)
Ben: I'll get it!
Lime tongue: Bad news! There's a blizzard! The roads are closed until tomorrow.
Hooligan: Yeaaaah! Yeah! Let's get stupid!
Kate: That? And all I wanna do is get outta here.
Mike: Kate? Kate? I am afraid we're sort of stuck in here another night.
Kate: What???
Ben: Mike, that was the front desk, they said if you stay another night, they need a 1000 dollar deposit.
Mike: Uh, Kate? Remember what you said about whoever has the money pays?