Mike: Hello, Darwin? hehehe.
Nigel: You are going to look fantastic in this Suit: What do you think?
Mike: Kate? Euh...
Kate: Mike? All the models are actually wearing suits like these.
Mike: Well, other models are jumping off the building, would you do that too?
Nigel: Come on angel, let me introduce you to the press. Sorry Mike no boyfriends allowed.
Nigel: (posing and mumbling) Baby... Hm. Baby.
Jason: Hey, I am ready with my square, I get my plumb line, I get my spirit level, I could use a little help getting the tree straight.
Maggie: I have to go scrub the toilets.
Ben: I have to get a credit for the science report.
Luke: I have to get the script off the whiteboard.
Chrissy: I gotta eat some spinach.
Jason: Ok then, that's all the more fun for me! Mike, oh, you look like you're ready to go beg some trees. Kate's flagging up ok?
Mike: Yeah, yeah, it was fine dad.
Jason: Are you alright? Something on your mind?
Mike: Oh, well actually yeah.
Jason: Oh! Hang on, that order is my last! Uh, I gotta get a broom, just look but don't touch. Don't start with me.
Mike: listen Carol, I was wrong.
Carol: Why you only do this when they're no witnesses?
Mike: No no I mean it. And you have every right in the world to be jealous of Dwight and his assistant Felicia.
Carol: I saw Dwight's assistant this afternoon. She's an older woman.
Mike: Aw, I am sorry.
Carol: No, no, I mean ooold, blue hair, black glasses, get sent movies with half the price.
Mike: Oh, obviously something could have happened if she was young and attractive. With all that heat, and the dust, and the glitter, and the glamour and the parties and steel drums pounding?
Carol: In the library?
Mike: Oh whether it's the library or Jamaica does not matter.
Carol: Wait a minute, you are talking about Kate?
Mike: Hey hey hey, You leave Kate and Nigel Done out of this.
Carol: Nigel Done? This is wonderful. I was always jealous about nothing, and you are jealous about Nigel-tiny-Kangaroo-dance- ur, Done!?
Francis: Let's go Siever. You are hustling some kids with chainsaws out there. If you don't hurry, we'll be driving convertibles.
Mike: Mr. Tedesco, I can't go.
Francis: Your cook stinks in here, absolutely horrid! For a moment out there it sounded as if you said, "I can't go."
Mike: I can't.
Francis: Nnnno!
Mike: Mr. Tedesco, I have gotta go to Jamaica instead.
Francis: What??
Mike: Look, you're the one who told me to keep tabs on Kate.
Francis: You can't do this to me. I need this job till retirement. I have a wife and this pension is really the only thing we have going. I know it's no substitute for Children but we made a decision, I...
Mike: Mr. Tedesco, I did not quit. Look, I have gotta go to Jamaica.
Francis: Ohhhh. Well, if you must go, do me one favour:
Mike: What's that?
Francis: Take me with you!
Mike: Why am I in Jamaica? I 'm sure everything is fine.
Nigel: Okay give it to me baby. That's it, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Okay turn a little more towards me. I love it. I love it. Great. It's happening. Yes, it is.!
Mike: Kate!
Nigel: Beautiful, alright stand up now. That's it, that's it, okay. Beautiful, beautiful.
Yes, it's working. Let me see the back? Okay, I think what you need is …
Mike: Don't touch her. Don't you touch her!
Mike: Dah! You touched her!
Nigel: Okay, whose boyfriend are you?
Mike: Kate's!
Nigel: Last name, please!
Mike: Kate McDonald! Her! You are Kate? But that's okay, I was defending all women! Everywhere! And I am sure she's grateful…
Nigel: your Kate's off the shift.
Mike: No, no no, you can't do that!
Nigel: Already done!
Mike: Well, what if I apologize and let you hit me again?
Nigel: it's tempting but no thanks. Kate's up the Boot Shacks recovering.
Mike: Recovering?
Kate: Mike!
Mike: Kate!
Kate: What are you doing here?
Mike: What happened to your leg?
Kate: Oh, I got stung by a jellyfish! What happened to your eye?
Mike: I, I, forgot to put up my tray table in the upright position.
Kate: You won't believe what Nigel did. The minute I got on a plane he made a pass at me.
Mike: I knew it, I knew it, that scumbag just made a pass at you. Nothing happened right?
Kate: Nothing.
Mike: I knew it! I have got the most wonderful girl in the world and nothing could come between us!
Model: Nigel sent me over to check if you're all right.
Mike: Yeah, she's all right.
Model: Not her, golden gloves, you! We don't a stick to put on that but I'll send over for chilled blow-fish. Listen, don't feel bad, you're not the first jealous boyfriend who attacked Nigel. That's why he got his black belt.
Kate: You attacked Nigel? This whole time I thought you were handling things. You just did not trust me.
Mike: Kate, look I did it for you, I know guys like Nigel.
Kate: And you know me better. Mike, I am not the kinda girl who is gonna get involved with sly guys like Nigel Done!
Mike: But Kate.
Kate: Goodbye Mike.
Jason: Oh Christmas tree, o Christmas tree you are standing perpendicularly…Oh you are not one or two degree not most upright! O Christmas tree ? Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree we'll show them all night crazy!
All right time to decorate the tree everybody! Seems I am the only one with the Christmas spirit.
Maggie: Don't eat your fingers.
Luke: Everybody laughing, making decorations, now this is how I always imagined Christmas would be.
Chrissy: Ta-da!
Maggie: Oh, this is great! Nice plane, let's put it on the tree.
All: Ooooh.
Maggie: That's the perfect tree…..
Carol: Where have you been?
Mike: Well, I just spent my last dime to fly over 600 miles to Jamaica, to get dumped by my girlfriend, get punched in the eye.
Carol: How lousy a travel agent.
Mike: Carol, you were right, I was jealous.
Carol: No, you were right, I was jealous.
Mike: Of what? I thought Felicia was probably good material.
Carol: It was Esther I saw. Felicia is 22. Kind of a good-looking Michelle Fiver.
Mike: Probably give a Christmas present early: Kate and I broke up!
Carol: Dwight and I did too!
Mike: Really? Heh! Love stinks.
Carol: Yeah, Pee you!
Mike: Yeah, family's all you got.
Carol: You bet. Who needs Dwight and Kate when we have each other?
Mike: Now you're talking, let's hang out together!
Carol: Yeah! We'll go to museums, to operas, whoo! We'll get a house together, and we'll get cats, lotsa cats!
Mike: Alright, let's stop and see a movie?
Carol: Okay, I'll get the paper.
Mike: Ok.
Kate: Why…
Mike: You know Kate, I was asking myself the same question, why I was an insensitive jealous fool?
Kate: Nooo, why can't I stay mad at you?
Mike: Uh, what a girl I've got!
Mike: From now on, I am gonna trust you at all times!
Carol: Ok, Mike, I got the Movie Guy.
Mike: Oh beat it, Cat Lady.
Carol: What!?? I thought you two were on the rocks.
Mike: Carol, does this look like we are on the rocks?
Kate: Oh, those are for you?? I found them outside, they were for Carol!
Carol: Give me those you Tree Stumb. Listen to this:
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I fired Felicia,
Because I love you!"
Signed: Dwight Halliburton, your medieval prince.
Carol: Huh! Does not he just send you?
Mike: Yeah, right into the parcel of Brawn.
Jason: You guys wanna come in to the living room for a bit?
Mike: Oh the tree must be ready? Pretend that you like it.
Jason: Come on come. Cover your eyes!
Mike: Okay, cover your eyes.
Jason: Come on, Shhh! Don't wake the elves. Oops.
Chrissy: Can we look at our gifts?
Jason: No, no, nobody look, I want it to be a surprise, alright, everybody ready? Open Sesame.
Maggie: What's the matter you did not finish?
Ben: it's probably waiting for the blueprints to get back from the North Pole.
Jason: No, I am done, I just thought the rest of you might finish it up without me.
Luke: You mean we could decorate your tree any way we want?
Jason: Yes, look, its not my tree, it's our tree. I know it is hard to believe sometimes I just get carried away.
Maggie: Oh, Jason.
Ben: So can we put tinsel on in big handfuls?
Jason: If you wish?
Chrissy: I can put the candy kings in any crazy place we want?
Jason: If the spirit moves you?
Luke: And I put the heavy ornaments on top?
Jason: No, no, no.
Maggie: Ah, no!
Jason: Yeah, alright! But…
Maggie: Yeah! That's right.