評論
打印
Listen to a conversation between a student and a professor.
請聽一段學生和教授之間的對話。
Hey, Ellen. How are you doing?
嘿，Ellen。你怎么樣？
Oh, pretty good, thanks. How are you? OK.
哦，我很好，謝謝。您呢？不錯。
Did you, um, have a chance to look at my grad school application...you know, the statement of purpose I wrote.
您，額，看過我的研究生院申請了么......我寫的動機函。
Um, yeah. In fact, here it is. I just read it.
是的。實際上，就在這。我剛看。
Oh, great! What did you think?
哦，太好了！您覺得怎么樣？
Basically, it's good.
基本不錯。
What you might actually do is take some of these different points here,
你也許要把這些不同的觀點提出來，
and actually break them out into separate paragraphs.
然后把它們分成單獨的段落。
So, um, one: your purpose for applying for graduate study;
所以，額，第一：申請研究生學習的目的；
uh, why do you want to go to graduate school, and an area of specialty;and,
你為什么想繼續研究生學習，以及專業領域；
uh, why you want to do the area you're specifying; um, and what you want to do with your degree once you get it.
還有你為什么想從事你指定的領域；以及得到學位后你會怎么用。
OK.So those are...they're pretty clear on those four points they want.Right.
好的。他們在他們想要了解的那四點上很明確。對的。
So, you might just break them out into uh...you know, separate paragraphs and expand on each point some.
所以，你可以把它們分成單獨的段落然后在每一點上再擴展一下。
But really what's critical with these is that, um, you've gotta let yourself come through.
但是重要的是，你要把自己表現出來。
See, you gotta let them see you in these statements.
明白嗎，你得讓他們在這寫陳述里了解你。
Expand some more on what's happened in your own life and what shows your...your motivation and interest in this area-in geology.
展開敘述一些發生在你生活中的事，還有那些能表明你的動機和在地質學領域的興趣的事情。
Let 'em see what really, what...what captures your imagination about this field.
讓他們了解是什么真正讓你對這個領域癡迷。
OK. So make it a little more...personal? That's OK?
好的。所以讓這個申請更......個性化一點？這沒關系么？
That's fine. They look for that stuff. You don't wanna go overboard...Right.
可以的。他們希望看到那樣的東西。你別寫得太過就是......是的
but it's critical that...that somebody sees what your passion is-your personal motivation for doing this.Ok
但是讓別人看見你的熱情--你做這件事的個人動機很重要。好的。
And that's gotta come out in here. Um, and let's see, uh, you might also give a little, uh-since this is your only chance to do it,
那一點得在這里體現出來。額，因為這是你做這件事的唯一一次機會，
you might give a little more explanation about your unique undergraduate background.
你也許可以更多地解釋一下你獨特的本科學習背景。
So, you know, how you went through, you know, the music program; what you got from that; why you decided to change.
比如你的音樂課程怎么樣；你從中得到了什么；你為什么要改變。
I mean, it's kind of unusual to go from music to geology, right?
我是說，從音樂到地質學的轉變并不常見，是吧？
Yeah. I was...I was afraid that, you know, maybe the personal type stuff wouldn't be what they wanted but...
是的。我有點擔心，也許私人的東西不會是他們想要看到的，但是......
No, in fact it's...um, give an example: I...I had a friend, when I was an undergrad, um, went to medical school.
不，其實他們想看見的......舉個例子，我本科的時候有一個朋友，后來去了醫學院。
And he put on his med school application-and he could actually tell if somebody actually read it 'cause, um,
他提交了醫學院申請，之后他能分辨出人家是不是真的看過他的申請，因為
he had asthma and the reason that he wanted to go to med school was he said he wanted to do sports medicine
他有哮喘，他想要上醫學院的原因是他想從事運動醫學，因
because he, you know, he had this real interest.
為他有這個興趣。
He was an athlete too, and...and wanted to help athletes who had this physical problem.
他曾經也是個運動員，想幫助患有哮喘的遠動員。
And he could always tell if somebody actually read his letter because they would always ask him about that.
而他總能知道別人是不是真的讀了他的申請信，因為他們會問起他那件事。
Mmm...so something unique.
嗯......所以要寫些獨特的東西。
Yeah. So see, you know, that's what's good and and I think for you probably, you know,
是的。所以你看，那就是好的內容，而且我覺得對你來說，
your music background's the most unique thing that you've got in your record.Right.
你的音樂背景就是在你的履歷里最獨特的東西。正是。
Mmm...so you see, you gotta make yourself stand out from a coupla hundred applications. Does that help any?
你得讓自己在幾百份申請里嶄露頭角。有幫到你嗎？
Yeah, it does. It gives me some good ideas.
嗯，有幫到。我想到一些好主意。
And...what you might also do too is, you know, uh, you might get a friend to proof it or something at some point.
你還要做的是，在某個時間你要找個朋友幫你檢查一下。
Oh, sure...sure.
哦，當然。
Also, think about presentation-how the application looks.
還有，想一下你的陳述--這個申請看起來如何
In a way you're actually showing some other skills here, like organization.
。在某種程度上，你其實也展示了一些其他的技能，比如組織能力。
A lot of stuff that's...that they're not...they're not formally asking for, they're looking at.
很多東西，他們沒有正式地要求，但是他們能看到。
So your presentation format, your grammar, all that stuff, they're looking at in your materials at the same time.
所以你的陳述模式，你的語法，所有的東西，他們同時都能在你的材料里看到。
Right. Ok.
是的。好的。
