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誰偷了我的朋友:閨蜜與閨蜜形影不離

時間:2014-11-24 10:17:31 來源:可可英語編輯:shaun ? 可可英語APP下載 | 可可官方微信:ikekenet

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You introduce two of your good friends to each other in hopes that they, too, can become good friends. But when they start to bond in an unexpected way and hang out without you, might you regret introducing them to each other in the first place?

你介紹自己的兩個好友相互認識，希望他們也能成為好朋友。但有一天，你卻發現他們的關系好到會忽略你單獨，你會不會后悔當初介紹她們認識？

誰偷了我的朋友.jpg

Andrea Lavinthal, co-writer of the best-selling book Friend or Frenemy?: A Guide to the Friends You Need and the Ones You Don’t, told The New York Times in a recent interview: “Most girls won’t admit this, but they’d rather you hit on their significant other than their best friend.” Another writer of the book is Jessica Rozler.

安德莉亞•拉雯瑟和杰西卡•羅絲勒合著的《朋友或友敵：如何找到你需要的朋友》一書極為暢銷。近日，拉雯瑟在接受《紐約時報》采訪時表示，“雖然很多女孩兒不愿承認這一點，但是她們寧可你認識她重要的朋友，也不愿把最好的朋友介紹給你認識?！?/div>

Lavinthal said she once introduced two friends to each other over brunch. A few weeks later, she stumbled onto the two women having dinner together in a restaurant, and learned they’d been spending quite a bit of time together.

拉雯瑟說，她曾在一次早午飯上介紹自己的兩位好友認識，幾周之后，她在一家餐館撞見這兩位閨蜜，才得知她們常常在一起（完全忽略了她）。

“There they were in the restaurant, loving each other, probably talking about how I’m not funny enough or smart enough,” she said. “What do you say? Are you going to insist that whenever they hang out, you be there? That’s weird. Are you going to bring it up and be bereft? That’s an interaction so hard for girls.”

拉雯瑟說，“她們一起在餐館，相談甚歡，也許還在一起說我如何無趣、不夠聰明。如果是你，你會怎么做？堅持她們出來逛就要帶上你？這要求也太奇葩了吧！或是任其發展，直到自己失去友誼？這些對于女孩兒來說實在太虐心了?！?/div>

Feeling froggy

跳背游戲：誰偷了我的朋友

What Americans call “friend stealing” is “leapfrogging” in Britain. But perhaps there’s no need for us to make a fuss about being leapfrogged. Ronald Sharp is a professor of English at Vassar College, US, who co-edited The Norton Book of Friendship with Eudora Welty. Sharp said: “The anxiety about social poaching stems from an inappropriate or distorted view of what friendship is. It views friendship as a zero-sum game, or as an attempt to maximize your resources. It converts the natural generosity of friendship into a kind of investment.”

對于“越過共同的朋友單獨聯系”這種情況，美國人稱之為“偷朋友”，而英國人則叫它“跳背游戲”。不過，也許我們并不用對此太過小題大做。美國瓦薩學院的英語教授羅納德•沙普曾與尤多拉•韋爾蒂合著了《友誼的諾頓之書》，沙普教授認為，“這種對于社交領域‘挖墻腳’的擔憂其實是由于不恰當或扭曲的友誼觀所致。它將友誼視為一種‘你死我活’的零和游戲，或企圖通過友誼來最大程度豐富人脈。這些觀念都讓本身慷慨無私的友情變成了一種（自私的）投資。”

Sharp added, “If you can’t trust your friend to have a relationship with another person you consider a friend, it’s a clear symptom of a problem in your friendships.”

沙普教授還補充道，“如果你連介紹另一個人給自己的好友都不放心，顯然你們的友誼存在問題?！?/div>

So how do you deal with being leapfrogged? Sharp said: “Part of the burden is on the friendmaker to assure the insecure friend that everything is OK. But part of the burden should also be on the original friend not to be anxious about it.”

那么，要如何應對“朋友跳過自己單獨聯系”的情況？沙普認為，“獲得介紹、成為朋友的一方有責任安撫沒有安全感的那個朋友。但另一方面，作為朋友們的介紹人，你也應該放寬心。”

Take it easy and be patient. In Lavinthal’s case, patience paid off. She said of the two women whom she had introduced to each other: “They became better and better friends. It was weird for a while. But then somehow, organically, I got brought back into the fold. Their friendship cooled off a little bit, and we all found our way back.”

別焦慮，要有耐心！從拉雯瑟的例子中就可以看出耐心的意義。她說：“看著那兩個經自己介紹而認識的朋友關系日益親密，自己確實有一段時間心里不舒服，但是，漸漸地我又開始融入她們之中，隨著她們友誼恢復平靜，我們似乎又回到了從前的樣子。”

She added: “I feel like I’m the hot item again. They need me now. They need me to get back to the root of why they’re friends.”

拉雯瑟還說，“我發現自己又成了‘香餑餑’，她們現在都需要我，因為我才是她們友誼的源頭?！?/p>

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重點單詞		查看全部解釋
insecure	[,insi'kujə]	想一想再看 adj. 不安全的；不穩定的；不牢靠的	聯想記憶 X 單詞insecure 聯想記憶： secure（adj 安全可靠的；放心的；無慮的）
smart	[smɑ:t]	想一想再看 adj. 聰明的，時髦的，漂亮的，敏捷的，輕快的，整潔的
fold	[fəuld]	想一想再看 n. 折層，折痕 vt. 折疊，包，交叉，擁抱
social	['səuʃəl]	想一想再看 adj. 社會的，社交的 n. 社交聚會
patience	['peiʃəns]	想一想再看 n. 耐心，忍耐，毅力 n. 單人玩的牌	聯想記憶 X 單詞patience 聯想記憶： par[=pass]=felling感情+ience→感情，有感情就有耐心→耐心；忍受
assure	[ə'ʃuə]	想一想再看 vt. 使確信，使放心，確保	聯想記憶 X 單詞assure 聯想記憶： as一再，sure肯定－一再肯定－確信
original	[ə'ridʒənl]	想一想再看 adj. 最初的，原始的，有獨創性的，原版的	聯想記憶 X 單詞original 聯想記憶： orig升起，開始+in→[生命]開始→起源；出身+al→起源的；獨創的
bereft	[bi'reft]	想一想再看 adj. 喪失的；被剝奪的；失去親人的 v. 失去…的（
fuss	[fʌs]	想一想再看 n. 大驚小怪，小題大作，強烈不滿或爭吵 vi
symptom	['simptəm]	想一想再看 n. 癥狀，征兆