評論
打印
I hope you'll excuse the pointed title, and I sincerely hope your relationship is not falling apart, but if you have ever found yourself in dire straits in a relationship (as we all do), chances are that the trouble can be traced back to one or a few of these issues. If your relationship is all rainbows and sunshine dust, fantastic—this list will just be some good food for thought.
我由衷希望讀者能夠原諒這唐突的標(biāo)題，也希望你們的感情并未破裂，但如果屬于你的這段關(guān)系正處于困境（我們所有人都會經(jīng)歷），你仍然可以抓住機(jī)會追溯其中的一個或數(shù)個同類問題來解決麻煩?？扇绻愕母星橐黄饷髅篮?，妙極了---這些建議還能給你補(bǔ)充思想的能量。
You're not listening
你沒有用心聽
I'm not talking about you being glued to the TV while your partner is pouring his/her heart out. If that's the case, it should be pretty obvious there is a problem.
我并不是說當(dāng)你的伴侶在訴說衷腸時，你卻一頭扎進(jìn)電視里。如果真是這樣，那問題就再明顯不過了。
Many of us believe we are listening when what we're actually doing is anxiously and impatiently waiting for our turn to speak. When we “l(fā)isten” from this perspective, we are not truly listening: we are resisting the anger, despair, anxiety, fear etc. inside of us.
當(dāng)我們正在焦慮又不耐煩地等發(fā)言機(jī)會時，大多數(shù)人都一口咬定自己正在傾聽。若我們持續(xù)這個狀態(tài)，那我們就并非真正地在傾聽：只是在拒絕內(nèi)心的憤怒、焦躁、恐懼等等。
True listening requires awareness of what is going on inside. Only when we are conscious of our inner-workings can we truly hear another person.
真正的傾聽包括懂得內(nèi)心所發(fā)生的一切。只有當(dāng)我們了解了內(nèi)心所想后，才能聽見他人的聲音。
The next time you find yourself listening to your partner, whether in an argument or otherwise, see if you can notice what you're feeling and thinking in response without having to speak immediately. See if you can allow your significant other to really be heard. Then, accept what's going on inside you, no matter what the thought or emotion. From there you can speak with rational and relative calm, which brings me to my next point.
無論是爭吵還是其他事情，當(dāng)下回你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在傾聽對方的時候，問自己是否察覺到了自己的所想所感，而不要急著去爭辯?？醋约菏欠裾娴哪苈犚娏硪话氲男穆?。然后，無論是出自怎樣的想法和情緒，都要接受內(nèi)心的自我。這樣一來你就可以相對理性地回答對方，接著就是我給讀者的下一個建議。
