評論
打印
People often think they're talking to each other when they're really talking past each other. They carry on monologues, not dialogues.
人們經常認為自己在和對方交流，但實際上他們并沒有在溝通。他們在唱獨角戲，而不是在對話。
There is a biological explanation for this: when we express ourselves, our bodies release a higher level of reward hormones, and we feel great. The more we talk, the better we feel. While we're being rewarded, the people we're talking to might consciously or subconsciously feel cut off, invisible, unimportant, and rejected, which releases the same neurochemicals as physical pain.
這種情況在生物學上的解釋是：當我們表達自己觀點時，身體中期待回報的荷爾蒙就會更高，自我感覺就會很好。我們說得越多，這種感覺也會越強。當我們覺得自己在表達時得到了回報，和我們對話的人會有意識、或潛意識中覺得被隔絕、被忽視，被認為不重要和被拒絕，他們的體內會產生一種和身體疼痛一樣的神經化學物質。
Recognize your blind spots.
請記住你以前沒注意到的部分。
Stop
停止做以下事
1. Assuming that others see what you see, feel what you feel, and think what you think, since that's rarely the case.
1. 假設別人見你所見、感你所感、想你所想，因為事實很少會這樣。
2. Failing to recognize that emotions, such as fear and distrust, change how you and others interpret and talk about reality.
2. 沒有意識到有些情緒，比如說害怕和不信任，給你和其他人在理解上和談論事實時帶來的變化。
3. Thinking you understand and remember what others say, when you really only remember what you think about what they've said.
3. 認為你理解而且記得別人說的話，但實際上你只是記得你認為他們說過的話。
4. Underestimating your own propensity to have conversational blind spots!
4. 低估你在對話中產生盲點的傾向。
Start
開始做以下事
1. Paying attention to and minimizing the time you "own" the conversational space.
1. 要注意把你主導對話的時間縮到最小。
2. Sharing that space by asking open-ended discovery questions, to which you don't know the answers, so you stay curious (i.e. What influenced your thinking?)
2. 通過問開放式的問題來分享談話的空間，你不知道問題的答案，所以能保持好奇心（比如說：你的思維會受什么影響？）。
3. Listening non-judgmentally to the answers
3. 不帶個人色彩地傾聽別人的答案。
4. Asking follow-up questions
4. 跟進問題。
