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There is turmoil in the strange world of citizenship tests. The UK is planning to revise its test for would-be Britons, adding questions on crucial issues such as the life of the poet Robert Browning. In France's test, introduced this month, applicants must obviously know about Brigitte Bardot. Meanwhile a recent survey by Xavier University found that more than one-third of Americans would fail their own country's naturalisation test. Only 8 per cent could name even one author of the Federalist Papers. And Denmark is quietly scrapping its test. No wonder that no country seems quite happy with its citizenship test. Being a citizen has little to do with what's in your head.
千奇百怪的公民入籍考試領(lǐng)域目前出現(xiàn)了動(dòng)蕩。英國(guó)正計(jì)劃修訂針對(duì)入籍申請(qǐng)者的考試，增加一些關(guān)鍵的問(wèn)題，如詩(shī)人羅伯特•勃朗寧(Robert Browning)的生平。在本月推出的法國(guó)公民入籍考試中，申請(qǐng)者顯然必須了解碧姬·巴鐸(Brigitte Bardot)。與此同時(shí)，澤維爾大學(xué)(Xavier University)最近的一項(xiàng)調(diào)查顯示，超過(guò)三分之一的美國(guó)人可能通不過(guò)本國(guó)的入籍考試。只有8%的人能夠說(shuō)出《聯(lián)邦黨人文集》(Federalist Papers)的任何一名作者。同時(shí)丹麥正在悄悄放棄該國(guó)的入籍考試。難怪沒(méi)有哪個(gè)國(guó)家似乎對(duì)其公民入籍考試非常滿(mǎn)意。成為一個(gè)國(guó)家的公民與頭腦里裝了什么沒(méi)有太大關(guān)系。
Tests for wannabe immigrants or citizens came into vogue in the era after September 11 2001. Most seemed designed to weed out Muslim fundamentalists. The Netherlands made this most explicit: along with its test, it released an integratiefilm featuring a gay wedding and topless Dutchwomen. These images were presumably meant to shock Muslims out of coming to the Netherlands, just as they would have shocked most Dutch people of a generation ago. The idea was so brilliant that the anti-immigrant Danish People's Party proposed sticking breasts into Denmark's film. However, the Dutch soon had to offer a breast-free version of their film, after discovering that diligent, aspirant Dutchmen caught with the hardcore version in, say, Afghanistan, might get into difficulty.
針對(duì)移民或公民申請(qǐng)者的考試，是在2011年9月11日之后流行起來(lái)的。多數(shù)此類(lèi)考試似乎意在淘汰穆斯林原教旨主義者。荷蘭的態(tài)度最為明確：除了實(shí)行考試制度外，還發(fā)行一部帶有同性戀婚禮和無(wú)上裝婦女鏡頭的荷蘭生活宣傳片。這些畫(huà)面想必是為了嚇走穆斯林，使他們不敢來(lái)荷蘭（一代人以前，這些畫(huà)面也會(huì)嚇著大部分荷蘭人）。這個(gè)創(chuàng)意如此"高超"，以至于反對(duì)移民的丹麥人民黨(Danish People's Party)也提議在該國(guó)電影中加入乳房畫(huà)面。然而，荷蘭很快發(fā)現(xiàn)，有志成為荷蘭人的勤奮的、有上進(jìn)心的外國(guó)人如果在阿富汗這樣的地方被發(fā)現(xiàn)帶著這種片子，可能會(huì)遇到麻煩。于是，荷蘭不得不刪除宣傳片中的乳房鏡頭。
The Iraqi refugee Rodaan al Galidi, who wrote a prizewinning novel in Dutch, failed the Netherlands' integration test. He explained afterwards: "I don't know when a woman gets her period after a miscarriage, because I have never been pregnant. I can prove that."
曾經(jīng)用荷蘭語(yǔ)寫(xiě)了一部獲獎(jiǎng)作品的伊拉克難民盧達(dá)恩∙阿爾∙加里迪(Rodaan al Galidi)沒(méi)能通過(guò)入籍考試。后來(lái)他解釋說(shuō)："我不知道女士在流產(chǎn)之后什么時(shí)候會(huì)再來(lái)例假，因?yàn)槲覐奈磻言羞^(guò)。我可以證明。"
Other countries took the high road. The UK felt that prospective Britons should have some familiarity with the Magna Carta. At a debate on the matter in London, someone asked who in the room had actually read the Magna Carta. Of the several hundred overeducated Londoners present, only two or three raised their hands.
其他國(guó)家選擇比較陽(yáng)春白雪的內(nèi)容。英國(guó)認(rèn)為準(zhǔn)英國(guó)人應(yīng)該熟悉《大憲章》(Magna Carta)。在倫敦關(guān)于這個(gè)話(huà)題的一場(chǎng)辯論中，有人問(wèn)在場(chǎng)的人中誰(shuí)真正讀過(guò)《大憲章》，在場(chǎng)的幾百位受過(guò)高等教育的倫敦人中只有兩三個(gè)人舉手。
Every country has made much the same discovery: few natives can answer basic constitutional questions. The German Green politician Volker Beck said Germany's citizenship test "expects knowledge that Germans only have after they've studied law for a semester".
每個(gè)國(guó)家都得出了同樣的結(jié)論：土生土長(zhǎng)的人中很少有人能夠回答基本的憲法問(wèn)題。德國(guó)綠黨政界人士富克爾•貝克(Volker Beck)表示，德國(guó)的公民入籍考試"要求掌握德國(guó)人需要學(xué)過(guò)一學(xué)期的法律才能具備的知識(shí)。"
Immigrants memorise the answers, and generally pass, though it's doubtful how much knowledge sticks. A Filipina I know recently attended her day-long "citizenship course" in Paris. That evening I asked her what she'd learnt. There was this European organisation, she said, which excluded Turkey. Or maybe, she added, it included Turkey. What had most impressed her that day were the constant meal breaks, which may indeed be the best introduction to Frenchness.
移民們通過(guò)死記硬背，一般能夠通過(guò)考試，盡管他們真正消化吸收了多少知識(shí)令人懷疑。我認(rèn)識(shí)的一個(gè)菲律賓女士最近參加了巴黎一個(gè)全天的"公民課程"。當(dāng)天晚上我問(wèn)她都學(xué)到了什么。她說(shuō)，有一個(gè)什么歐洲的組織，不包括土耳其，后來(lái)她又補(bǔ)充說(shuō)，可能也包括土耳其在內(nèi)。那天給她印象最深刻的是接二連三的進(jìn)餐休息時(shí)間，這或許的確是引導(dǎo)她熟悉法國(guó)生活方式的最好方式。
The most famous story about citizenship tests points up their essential wrongness. In 1947, the great Austrian logician Kurt Gödel went to a hearing in Trenton, New Jersey, to acquire American citizenship. His friends Albert Einstein and the economist Oskar Morgenstern came along. The story has long been shrouded in myth, but "the lost Morgenstern document", containing Morgenstern's 1971 memories of the affair, surfaced some years ago. We now know what happened.
有個(gè)關(guān)于公民資格考試的最著名故事，讓我們看出此類(lèi)考試的根本缺陷。1947年，偉大的奧地利邏輯學(xué)家?guī)鞝柼?#8226;哥德?tīng)?Kurt Gödel)前往美國(guó)新澤西州特倫頓(Trenton)參加聽(tīng)證會(huì)，以獲得美國(guó)國(guó)籍。他的朋友阿爾伯特•愛(ài)因斯坦(Albert Einstein)和經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家?jiàn)W斯卡•摩根斯坦(Oskar Morgenstern)也陪他前往。這個(gè)故事長(zhǎng)期被披上傳奇外衣，但丟失的"摩根斯坦文檔"（記載著摩根斯坦1971年對(duì)那次考試的回憶）前些年又找到了。現(xiàn)在我們知道當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了什么。
Gödel had taken the hearing seriously. "Since he is a very thorough man," recorded Morgenstern, "he started informing himself about the history of the settlement of North America by human beings. That led gradually to the study of the History of American Indians, their various tribes, etc."
哥德?tīng)柡苤匾暷谴温?tīng)證會(huì)。"由于他是個(gè)特別較真的人，"摩根斯坦回憶道，"他開(kāi)始研究人類(lèi)在北美定居的歷史。這慢慢地又讓他考察上了美洲印第安人的歷史、他們的不同部落等問(wèn)題。"
Eventually Gödel got to the American constitution, and made a terrifying discovery: a malevolent president could exploit a loophole and set up as a fascist dictator! Ah, said Einstein and Morgenstern, best not to raise this at the hearing.
最后，哥德?tīng)柌殚喠嗣绹?guó)《憲法》，并得出了一個(gè)令人恐怖的發(fā)現(xiàn)：一個(gè)心存邪念的總統(tǒng)可能利用其中的一個(gè)漏洞，讓自己成為法西斯主義獨(dú)裁者！算了吧，愛(ài)因斯坦和摩根斯坦都說(shuō)，你在聽(tīng)證會(huì)上最好別提這一點(diǎn)。
Morgenstern drove them all to Trenton. In the car, Einstein teased: "Now, Gödel, are you really well prepared for this examination?" As Einstein had intended, the remark made Gödel even more anxious.
摩根斯坦開(kāi)車(chē)載著大家來(lái)到了特倫頓。在車(chē)?yán)铮瑦?ài)因斯坦拿哥德?tīng)柸?lè)："哥德?tīng)枺F(xiàn)在你當(dāng)真對(duì)這次考試準(zhǔn)備充分了嗎？"正如愛(ài)因斯坦所料，這話(huà)讓哥德?tīng)栍l(fā)焦慮了。
In Trenton, the judge asked Gödel where he came from. "Where I come from? Austria," replied Gödel in heavy Teutonic tones. The judge asked him about Austria's form of government. Gödel explained: "It was a republic, but the constitution was such that it finally was changed into a dictatorship."
到了特倫頓，法官問(wèn)哥德?tīng)枏哪睦飦?lái)。哥德?tīng)栍脻庵氐娜斩谝艋卮穑?quot;我從哪里來(lái)？從奧地利來(lái)。"法官又問(wèn)他奧地利是什么政體。哥德?tīng)柦忉尩溃?quot;奧地利是共和政體，但憲法是如此的無(wú)力，結(jié)果變成了一個(gè)獨(dú)裁國(guó)家。"
"Oh! This is very bad," said the judge, and added consolingly: "This could not happen in this country." "Oh yes it can!" shouted Gödel, "I can prove it." Whereupon Einstein, Morgenstern and the judge hastily shut him up, and the hearing concluded. That's because these tests require only memorised factual answers. Any deeper knowledge creates trouble.
法官表示，"哦，這可太不幸了。"然后如釋重負(fù)地表示："這種情況不可能會(huì)發(fā)生在美國(guó)。""不對(duì)，美國(guó)有可能發(fā)生，"哥德?tīng)柡傲顺鰜?lái)，"我可以證明這一點(diǎn)！"法官、愛(ài)因斯坦所和摩根斯坦都趕緊讓他閉嘴，聽(tīng)證會(huì)就此結(jié)束。這是因?yàn)椋瑧?yīng)對(duì)這類(lèi)考試只需要背誦事實(shí)型答案。更深入的知識(shí)會(huì)招來(lái)麻煩。
And even a modest factual test is probably pointless. It would be nice to live in a polis where all citizens have some familiarity with the Magna Carta, but we never will. To be a citizen, it doesn't matter what you know, or what crazy stuff you have in your head. If you believe homosexuals are infidels, that's fine. In a democracy you can believe what you like. You just can't act on certain beliefs.
即便是考察對(duì)事實(shí)了解程度的難度不大的考試，也很可能毫無(wú)意義。要是能生活在每名公民都對(duì)《大憲章》有所了解的城邦里，將是一件很理想的事，但我們永遠(yuǎn)也辦不到。要成為一名公民，無(wú)論你了解多少知識(shí)，或者你心里裝了哪些瘋狂的想法，這都不要緊。如果你認(rèn)為同性戀者是異教徒，那也沒(méi)關(guān)系。在民主國(guó)家里，你有信仰的自由。你只是不可以依照某些信仰去行事。
Penniless governments could save themselves some cash by ceasing to examine people's minds.
一文不名的政府也可能省下一點(diǎn)錢(qián)，別再審查人們心里在想些什么了。
