評論
打印
Let's look more closely at four of the bad habits:
讓我們再仔細看看這四個壞習(xí)慣：
1.Are You a Parrot?
1.你是只鸚鵡嗎？
Do you find yourself just paraphrasing or repeating what the other person said? If they say, "that was a cool movie!" do you say, "Yeah, that was a really cool movie!"？ Parrots act like they are having a conversation, but in reality, they rarely actually offer anything substantive. Parrots rely on echoing and paraphrasing others。
你有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)自己只是解釋或重復(fù)其他人說過的話？如果他們說，"這真是部很棒的電影?。?quot;你是不是說，"是的，它"確實"是部很棒的電影！"？鸚鵡看起來像是會說話，但事實上，他們很少真正的說過什么實質(zhì)性的話。鸚鵡靠的是效仿和重復(fù)別人的話。
Suggestion: If you find yourself just echoing what they are saying, try to offer substantive opinions or observations as well。
建議：如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己只是在重復(fù)他們說的，那么試著去表達些實質(zhì)性的意見，也可以是相反的觀點。
2.Are You an Energy Vampire?
2.你是一只活力吸血鬼嗎？
You may have fascinating stories and opinions to share, but if your energy cannot support the comments, people may find you hard to listen to. Lacking energy or emotion when you talk can ruin your conversation faster than almost any other bad habit. Good conversation is alive; good conversation flows with energy between the conversationalists. If you are not adding to the flow of energy, then you are probably subtracting from it。
你也許熱衷于分享故事和觀點，但是，如果你沒有支撐整個談話的活力，人們會覺得很難再聽你講下去。談話時缺少活力和感情會比其它壞習(xí)慣更快的毀了你們的談話。好的交流是生動的；談話者之間充滿了活力。如果你不能不斷加強這些活力，那么活力很可以會慢慢流失。
Suggestions: Think of your voice as a roller coaster ride for your listeners. Are you creating a flat, boring ride? Try to make your roller coaster ride enjoyable for your particular audience; add some vocal drops, some inclines, and vary your speed. Vary your inflections and emphasize key words as well。
建議：把你的聲音想象成是在讓你的聽眾乘坐一趟過山車。你是否正在形成一次單調(diào)，無聊的旅程？試著為你這些特別的觀眾創(chuàng)造一次愉快的過山車旅程；增加一些語調(diào)的升降，變化語速。也可以改變聲調(diào)強調(diào)關(guān)鍵詞。
Also, record your voice in private. In fact, re-read this section in your normal voice and play it back. If you have never recorded yourself before, you'll be surprised by what you hear!
同時，私下里錄下自己的聲音。用你正常的聲音再讀一次這部分然后重播。如果你以前從沒有錄過自己的聲音，所聽到的將會讓你大吃一驚！
3.Are You a Predictable Talker?
3.你是一個沒有想象力的談話者嗎？
The Predictable Talker lives in the serious and literal world. If they get up to use the restroom, and you ask them where they are going, they will always respond, "to the restroom." Everything they say is predictable; they'll never surprise you with something unexpected. In contrast, a Playful Talker may respond to that question with a number of unpredictable playful responses. For example, "I thought I'd leave you with the bill," or "I'm going to pickup that girl, "or "I'm trying to escape." The best conversation is playful and unpredictable; Predictable Talkers have trouble playing!
沒有想象力的談話者生活在一個嚴肅乏味的世界時。如果他們要去餐館的時候，你問他們要去哪兒，他們都會回答"去餐館"。他們說的所有事情都是可以想得到的；他們決不會說出一些預(yù)料以外的話使你驚訝。相反的，一個有幽默感的人會用一連串想不到的有意思的話來回答問題。例如，"我想我就要和錢離開你了。"或是"我要去認識那個女孩。"，或是"我正要逃跑。"最好的談話就是要有趣而且讓人想不到；沒有想象力的談話者將會碰到麻煩！
Suggestion: Train your mind to start considering the unexpected responses. Next time someone asks you a question or makes a comment, mentally think about what response would be unexpected or unpredictable (within reason!). Once in a while, try one of these unexpected comments and see how you do. You may surprise yourself。
建議：訓(xùn)練你的思維，從考慮讓人想不到的回答開始。下次如果有人問你問題或是討論的時候，在心里想想什么樣的回答是讓人沒想到的或是猜不著的(當(dāng)然是合理的！)。偶樂試試說些讓人意想不到的話，看看自己表現(xiàn)如果。你會讓自己吃驚的。
4.Are You a Conversation Narcissist?
4.你是一個以自我為中心的談話者嗎？
Conversation Narcissists love nothing more than to talk about themselves. The only reason they ask the other person a question like, "How was your weekend?" is so they can circle it back around to them again, "that's nice…let me tell you about what happened to me…" They rarely inquire seriously about the other person or ask follow up questions。
以自我為中心的談話者只喜歡說自己的事。他們問別人問題的唯一原因，如"你周末過得怎么樣？"，只是因此可以轉(zhuǎn)個彎回來說自己的事。"這可真不錯呀……讓我告訴你我遇到什么事了……"他們很少認真的詢問別人，或繼續(xù)剛才的問題。
Suggestion: This is easy to fix, be genuinely interested in the other person. When someone tells you something, keep the focus on them, ask follow up questions, recall previous comments the person said, etc。
建議：這很容易解決，就是要真正的對其他人感興趣。如果有人告訴你一些事情，持續(xù)關(guān)注它，問些關(guān)于它們的問題，想想剛才這個人所說的話等等。
