評論
打印
On the other hand—when is it a good time of day, or life, to sit in detached stillness? When isn't there something buzzing about, trying to distract you and get a rise out of you? So I made a decision (inspired again by my Guru's instruction that we are to become scientists of our own inner experience). I presented myself with an experiment—what if I sat through this for once? Instead of slapping and griping, what if I sat through the discomfort, just for one hour of my long life?
話說回來——何時才是好時辰、好時機，適合在淡泊的寂靜中靜坐？何時才不會有嗡嗡叫的事物讓你分心、讓你煩呢？于是我下定決心（又一次由導師的引導而得到啟發：我們必須研究自身的內在經驗）。我提供自己一個實驗——“要是我從頭坐到尾就這一次，又怎么樣？”不要拍打，也不要發牢騷。要是熬過這個時刻，一生就這一小時，又如何呢？
So I did it. In stillness, I watched myself get eaten by mosquitoes. To be honest, part of me was wondering what this little macho experiment was meant to prove, but another part of me well knew—it was a beginner's attempt at self-mastery. If I could sit through this nonlethal physical discomfort, then what other discomforts might I someday be able to sit through? What about emotional discomforts, which are even harder for me to endure? What about jealousy, anger, fear, disappointment, loneliness, shame, boredom?
于是我這么做。我安安靜靜地看著自己被蚊子吞噬。老實說，一部分的我想知道這男子氣概的小實驗究竟要證明什么，可是另一部分的我深知——這是自我管理的初級嘗試。我若熬過這場無殺傷力的生理痛苦，那么或許哪天就能熬過其他痛苦？更難以忍受的情感之苦？嫉妒、憤怒、恐懼、失望、寂寞、恥辱、沉悶之苦？
The itch was maddening at first but eventually it just melded into a general burning feeling and I rode that heat to a mild euphoria. I allowed the pain to lose its specific associations and become pure sensation—neither good nor bad, just intense—and that intensity lifted me out of myself and into meditation. I sat there for two hours. A bird might very well have landed on my head; I wouldn't have noticed.
一開始的癢令人受不了，但最終結合成一般的灼熱感；這個灼熱感領著我進入一種輕度快感。我讓疼痛松散而去，成為純粹的感覺——無關好壞，而是強烈的感覺——此種強烈感讓我超脫自己而入定。我靜坐兩個小時。鳥兒若停在我頭上，我也不會發現。
Let me be clear about one thing. I recognize that this experiment wasn't the most stoic act of fortitude in the history of mankind, and I'm not asking for a Congressional Medal of Honor here. But there was something mildly thrilling for me about realizing that in my thirty-four years on earth I have never not slapped at a mosquito when it was biting me. I've been a pup-pet to this and to millions of other small and large signals of pain or pleasure throughout my life. Whenever something happens, I always react. But here I was—disregarding the reflex. I was doing something I'd never done before. A small thing, granted, but how often do I get to say that? And what will I be able to do tomorrow that I cannot yet do today?
我要說清楚的是，這項實驗不是人類歷史上最堅忍的修行，我也不是想要國會頒給我榮譽勛章。可是在三十四年的生命中，我從未在蚊子叮我的時候不伸手拍打，這使我有些激動。我像木偶一樣，一生當中受制于千百萬種大大小小的痛苦或快樂。每當有事發生，我便起而反應。但此時的我，卻無視于本能的反應。我以前未曾這么做過。即使這是件小事，但我還能這么說多少次？明天我能做什么今天還做不到的事？
When it was all over, I stood up, walked to my room and assessed the damage. I counted about twenty mosquito bites. But within a half an hour, all the bites had diminished. It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away. Eat, Pray, Love
結束后，我站起來，走到房間估計損失。我數了數，大約被蚊子咬了二十處之多。但不到半個小時，咬傷的地方都不見了，都消逝無蹤。最終，一切都消逝無蹤。
