African-American women are less likely to marry than white women overall, but educated black women are considerably more likely to marry than their less-educated counterparts. As of 2008, 70 percent of African-American female college graduates had married, compared with 60 percent of high school graduates and just 53 percent of high school dropouts.

總體來說，非裔美國女性結婚的比白人女性少，但與教育水平不太高的黑人女性相比，受到良好教育的黑人女性結婚的可能要大得多。自2008年以來，70%的非裔女大學生結婚了；相比之下，高中畢業的結婚率只有60%；高中輟學的則只有53%。

One reason educated heterosexual women may worry about their marriage prospects today is that overall marriage rates have been slipping since 1980. But they have slipped less for educated women than for anyone else. Furthermore, college-educated women, once they do marry, are much less likely to divorce. As a result, by age 30, and especially at ages 35 and 40, college-educated women are significantly more likely to be married than any other group. And according to calculations by the economist Betsey Stevenson, an educated woman still single at age 40 is much more likely to marry in the next decade than her less educated counterparts.

如今受到良好教育的異性戀女性對婚姻前景擔心的一個原因是，1980年以來總體的結婚率一直在下降。但與其它人群相比，受到良好教育的女性結婚率下降較小。而且，一旦受過大學教育的女性結婚了，就不太可能離婚。結果，30歲左右，特別是在35至40歲期間，受大學教育的女性比其它人更有可能結婚。根據經濟學家貝特西·史蒂文森的測算，與受到教育不太高的女性相比，40歲仍單身的受到良好教育的女性在下一個10年結婚的可能性會加大。

Even for women who don't marry, it's better to be educated; a 2002 study found that never-married white women with more education than average lived "the longest, healthiest lives of all groups."

甚至對未結婚的女性來說，受教育也是好事；2002年的一份研究指出，在所有人中，受教育水平高于普通人的終身未嫁的白人女性“活得時間最長，生活也最健康”。

ONE of the dire predictions about educated women is true: today, more of them are "marrying down." Almost 30 percent of wives today have more education than their husbands, while less than 20 percent of husbands have more education than their wives, almost the exact reverse of the percentages in 1970.

有個關于受教育女性的可怕預測現在成事實了：如今很多受到良好教育的女性“下嫁”了。現在約有30%的妻子的教育水平比他們的丈夫高，而丈夫學歷高于妻子的不足20%，這基本上與1970年的情況完全相反。

But there is not a shred of evidence that such marriages are any less satisfying than marriages in which men have equal or higher education than their wives. Indeed, they have many benefits for women.

但是沒有絲毫的證據說明這樣的婚姻沒有男性學位高于（或等于）妻子的那樣令人滿意。實際上對女性有很多好處。

In a forthcoming paper from the Council on Contemporary Families, Oriel Sullivan, a researcher at Oxford University, reports that the higher a woman's human capital in relation to her husband — measured by her educational resources and earnings potential — the more help with housework she actually gets from her mate. The degree to which housework is shared is now one of the two most important predictors of a woman's marital satisfaction. And husbands benefit too, since studies show that women feel more sexually attracted to partners who pitch in.

哈佛大學研究員奧瑞兒·沙利文（Oriel Sullivan）在《當代家庭協會》發表的一篇論文稱， 與丈夫相比，女性的人力資本（用教育資源和可能的收入來衡量）越多，干家務時伴侶給予她的幫助也就越多。家務被分擔的程度是現在兩個最重要的估計女性婚姻狀況的指標之一。而且，這也有利于男性，因為研究顯示女性對教育水平不高的伴侶更有性吸引力。

Speaking of which, educated wives also get better sex, whatever their partner's educational level, according to the sexuality researchers Pepper Schwartz and Virginia Rutter. They are more likely to receive as well as give oral sex, to use a greater variety of sexual positions and to experience orgasm regularly.

提到這一點，性研究員佩珀·施瓦茲（Pepper Schwartz） and弗吉尼亞·瑞特（ Virginia Rutter）認為受到良好教育的妻子的性生活更加和諧，而不論他們伴侶的教育水平如何。他們更愿意口交或被口交，更可能使用多種體位和經常達到性高潮。

Certainly, some guys are still threatened by a woman's achievements. But scaring these types off might be a good thing. The men most likely to feel emotional and physical distress when their wives have a higher status or income tend to be those who are more invested in their identity as breadwinners than as partners and who define success in materialistic ways. Both these traits are associated with lower marital quality. Few women really want to marry a man whose penis rises and falls in tandem with the size of his paycheck or the prestige of his diploma.

當然，有些男人也會受不了女人的成就。但是把這類男人嚇跑也許是件好事。當妻子的地位或收入超過自己時，他們的身心很可能會沮喪，而且他們往往認為自己是家庭的支柱而不是伴侶，他們往往用物質的方式定義成功。這兩種品質與低質量的婚姻是聯系在一起的。錢包鼓、學歷高的時候，那話兒就豎起來了，否則就蔫下去了，這樣的男人是沒有女人真正愿意嫁的。

Yet when the journalist Liza Mundy interviewed young women for her forthcoming book on female breadwinners, she found that most wanted a mate they could "look up to" or "admire" — and didn't think they could admire a man who was less educated than they were. During a talk I recently gave to a women's group in San Francisco, an audience member said, "I want him to respect what I know, but I also want him to know just a little more than me." One of my students once told me, "it's exciting to be a bit in awe of a guy."

但是當她為新書采訪一些女性家庭支柱時，記者麗莎·曼迪（Liza Mundy） 發現絕大數人都希望找個可以“ 仰望 ”或“ 羨慕”的對象，不希望他們羨慕的人受到的教育比不上自己。最近在舊金山跟一個女性團體談話時，一名觀眾說，“我希望他尊重我知道的東西，而且我還希望他知道的比我多。” 有個學生也曾經告訴我，“對一個人有點敬畏也是比較有趣的。”

For a century, women have binged on romance novels that encouraged them to associate intimidation with infatuation; it's no wonder that this emotional hangover still lingers. Valentine's Day is a perfect time to reject the idea that the ideal man is taller, richer, more knowledgeable, more renowned or more powerful. The most important predictor of marital happiness for a woman is not how much she looks up to her husband but how sensitive he is to her emotional cues and how willing he is to share the housework and child-care. And those traits are often easier to find in a low-key guy than a powerhouse.

愛情小說常讓人將崇拜、敬畏當成了喜歡，而一個世紀以來，女性都喜歡讀這些小說。這種情感需求還是會遺留在腦際的。理想的男人應該是更高大的、更富有的、更有知識的、更加出名的或者更加強勁的。情人節是抵制這些觀點的最佳時機。女人婚姻幸福最重要的一個因素不是她多么仰慕丈夫，而是丈夫對妻子的情感暗示有多敏感，有多愿意分擔家務和照看孩子。而且與強人相比，這些品質在不打眼的人身上會更容易被發現。

I am not arguing that women ought to "settle." I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financial security, social status and sense of accomplishment. But that requires ditching the Lois Lane syndrome, where we ignore the attractions and attention of Clark Kent because we're so eager for the occasional fly-by from Superman.

我并不是說女人應該“湊合”過下去。除了依賴男人獲得經濟支撐、社會地位和成就感之外，我覺得從男人身上可以獲得更多其它東西。但這需要擺脫路易斯·萊恩（Lois Lane）綜合癥，因為它讓我們忽略了克拉克·肯特的魅力和關懷，因為我們太渴望見到身邊偶爾飛過的超人。