1. How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older?

你看上去一點都不老，怎么能指望我記住你的生日呢？（忘掉別人生日的最好借口）

2. The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

記住老婆生日的最好辦法就是忘掉一次。（不相信的話你就試試）

3. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

生日對你有好處。數據統計顯示，度過生日最多的人活得最長。（搞笑的廢話）

4. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

很少有女人承認他們的年齡，很少有男人的行為符合他們的年齡。（大實話）

5. Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday".

上周蠟燭廠失火了，在場的每一個人圍在一起唱起了生日快樂歌。（生日派對上講笑話可以用的上）

6. I'll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday!

我時常會想起你……年齡比我大。生日快樂!（給比你大的朋友發生日短信時可以這樣開玩笑）

7. You know you're getting old when you walk up the stairs and call it excercise.

如果爬樓梯時你美其名曰為鍛煉，那說明你是真得老了。（我爺爺總是笑稱爬樓梯就是鍛煉）

8. Smile while you've still got the teeth. Happy Birthday!

趁你還有牙，笑一個！生日快樂?。ê门笥焉张蓪φ障鄷r可以這樣調侃）

Well, it’s really getting late and it’s time to take a quick shower and hit the hay. I’m sure I will wake up to a sunny morning and tomorrow will surely be better…

好了，時間真得不早了，該洗洗睡了。我確信會在一個陽光明媚的早晨醒來，也相信明天會更美好…..