評論
打印
Revision of Essay Drafts
文章草稿的修改
Good morning everyone. In today's lecture, I'm going to talk about how to revise essay drafts and give you some tips as well. The initial revision should, of course, focus on the essay as a whole.
大家早上好。在今天的講座中，我將談一談如何修改文章草稿，并且也會給出一些建議。當然，最初的修改應該把重點放在文章的整體上。
You'd ask yourself: do I reach my writing objective? Does my essay directly answer the question? Is my main idea clear? In order to answer these questions, what you need to do first is to revise for content. The typical rough draft may have too little and too much content all at the same time. It will have touched the surface of some portions of the essay without providing adequate explanation or convincing detail. At the same time, it may have discussed things that do not contribute significantly to your major points.
你會問自己：我是否達到了寫作目標？我的文章是否直接回答了這個問題？我的中心思想清楚嗎？為了回答這些問題，你首先需要做的是修改內容。草稿中存在的典型問題是可能同時包含太少和太多的內容。它可能在一些部分泛泛而談，沒有提供充分的解釋和令人信服的細節。同時，它也可能談論了太多和主題無關的信息。
So, what is a good essay then? A good essay eliminates irrelevant material while includes all the information necessary to your main point. Your reader needs sufficient evidence to accept what you are saying. So, you have to make sure you have adequately developed and supported your main idea. Content that is unrelated to the main idea should be eliminated.
那么，一篇好的文章是什么樣子的呢？一篇好的文章會省略無關的材料，同時包含所有必要的信息。你的讀者需要足夠的證據來接受你的言論。所以，你必須確保你已經充分展開和支持你的主要觀點。與主旨無關的內容應該被刪除。
Then, what is the second step in revision? That is revise for organization. A well-organized essay will group similar ideas together and put them in the proper order. If you find it easy to produce an outline from your draft, this means that there is a clear logic to the flow of the content. And you can be reasonably certain that you have a well-ordered essay; otherwise, reorder your content.
那么，修改的第二步是什么呢？那就是修改結構。一篇條理清晰的文章會把相似的觀點組織在一起，并按適當的順序排列。如果你發現從你的草稿中很容易列出大綱，這意味著你的文章內容邏輯清晰。你可以很確定你的文章布局良好，否則，就要重新布局你的文章了。
The third step you are advised to take is to revise for length. Is your essay approximately the right length? If it is substantially longer than the stated limit, you have to consider reducing the supporting material. But even if there's no stated limit, or you are allowed to write as long as you like, please adhere to a self-imposed limit.
第三步，我建議你修改文章的長度。你的文章長度合適嗎？如果它比要求的長度超出很多，你需要考慮減少輔助內容。但是，即使沒有明確的限制，或者你可以隨意書寫，也請堅持自我設限。
And unless addressing a topic that needs lengthy explanation, stick to it. The steps I have mentioned so far actually refer to revision of an essay as a whole. The next step is to revise for components of the essay including the paragraphs, sentences, and individual words. You may ask: how am I going to revise paragraphs? Well, I'd say a paragraph is not arbitrarily formed. It should revolve around an idea, a theme. Let me tell you one way to revise paragraphs: isolate a paragraph at a time, and make sure it runs smoothly and is not merely a bunch of unrelated statements put together. As for revision of sentences and words, most essay writers pile on one long sentence after another.
除非處理一個需要冗長解釋的話題，否則堅持下去。到目前為止，我所提到的步驟都是指在文章整體基礎上的修改。下一步是修改文章的組成部分，包括段落、句子和單個單詞。你可能會問：我要怎么修改段落？好吧，我想說一個段落不是隨意寫成的。它應該圍繞著一個想法、一個主題。讓我告訴你一種修改段落的方式：一次只修改一個段落，確保它書寫流暢，而不是一堆不相關的語句堆砌。對于句子和單詞的修改，大多數的文章作者都是對一個接一個的長句子進行修改。
Well, I'd suggest you avoid this by breaking up some of the longer sentences to provide variety. Use short sentences to make important points, and long sentences to explain complex ideas. Also try to use a variety of sentence structures to maintain reader interest. Eliminate sentences that sound awkward when read aloud. For diction, a very important tip is to eliminate imprecise or wordy language. For example, use although instead of despite the fact that; try to add vigor to your writing by removing cliches, and use fresh and interesting descriptions. Try to write as much as possible with nouns and verbs than primarily with adjectives that slow the pace and reduce impact. Similarly, right in the active, not the passive voice.
我建議你通過分解一些長句使句式變得多樣化，從而避免這種情況。用短句來強調重點，用長句來解釋復雜的想法。也要嘗試使用各種句子結構來保持讀者的興趣。刪去大聲朗讀時聽起來很別扭的句子。對于措辭來說，一個非常重要的建議是刪除不精確或冗長的語言。例如，使用“although”而不是“despite the fact that”；嘗試通過刪除陳詞濫調來增加寫作的活力，并使用新鮮有趣的描述。盡量使用名詞和動詞，而不是主要用形容詞來寫作，這些形容詞會減慢文章的推進速度，削弱文章的效果。同樣地，要盡量使用主動語態，而不是被動語態。
Now let me just repeat what I have said today. Revision is important. When you revise your draft as a whole, pay attention to content, organization and length. But don't forget to revise your essay in detail. Revision of sentences and words can also make the essay more interesting to readers.
現在讓我復述一下今天所講的內容。修改很重要。當你以一個整體來修改草稿時，注意內容、結構和篇幅。但別忘了修改你文章的細節。修改句子和單詞也能使文章對讀者來說變得更加有趣。
