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Hi,everybody,hi.I'm so happy,this is our first week of shows.
你們好嗎 我太開心了 這是節目的第一周
And I'm happy to be back,doing what I love doing with the people I love doing it to
很高興能夠回來 對我喜歡的人做我喜歡做的事
So,thank you for letting me do what I do to you
謝謝你們讓我繼續做我對你們做的事
In case you missed our premiere show,I didn't fly my audience to Australia
可能你錯過了我們的首映秀 我沒有把我的觀眾都送去澳大利亞
But,thanks to Ashton Kutcher,we all got to see the land down under
但是 得謝謝Ashton Kutcher 我們都見識到了下面的世界
People have been asking if Ashton was actually naked,he was wearing a nude color sock
有人懷疑Ashton是不是真的全裸了 好吧 其實他穿著一只膚色的襪子
Unfortunately it was on his foot.that's where the sock was
但不幸的是 他穿在了腳上 是的 襪子在腳上
And that was not the only scary thing that happened to me on saturday
但這并不是上周六發生的唯一一件嚇人的事
Listen to this,I'm not kidding around,I got struck by lightning
聽我說 我可沒開玩笑 我被雷擊中了
Well I didn't,but my house did.But still scary
確切的說不是我 是我的房子 但是仍然很嚇人吧
I don't know if you live here in Los Angeles,any of you,but there's a warning,I was watching TV
我不知道你們當中有沒有人住在洛杉磯 當時有警報 我正在看電視
and I heard the beeps.At first I thought wow Judge Judith swears a lot because
然后就聽到了嗶嗶聲 剛開始我還在想 朱迪法官可真愛飚臟話
And then it turns out the beeps were those emergency alerts
后來才發現嗶嗶聲原來是緊急警報
and warning that thunderstorms were in Los Angeles and I've only seen the emergency alert in Los Angeles only once before
暴風雨要來了 在洛杉磯我只見過一次緊急警報
And it was a serious emergency,It was Jamba Juice who was out of wheatgrass
那可是非常嚴重的緊急情況 是他們在用小麥草做然巴果汁時發出的聲音
