評論
打印
Why Teachers Go Crazy
老師們是怎么被氣瘋的
TEACHER: Peter, what is the outside of a tree called?
老師：彼得，樹的最外層叫做什么？
PETER: I don't know, Ma'am.
彼得：老師，我不知道。
TEACHER: Bark, Peter, bark!
老師：樹皮（叫啊），彼得，是樹皮（叫啊）！
PETER: Wow, wow, wow!
彼得：汪——汪——汪！
TEACHER: What is the most popular answer to the teacher's questions?
老師：對老師的問題最常用的回答是什么？
STUDENT: I don't know ma'am.
學生：我不知道，老師。
TEACHER: Correct!
老師：完全正確！
COOL STUDENT: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
酷學生：老師，你不會為我沒做過的事而懲罰我吧？
TEACHER: No.
老師：當然不會。
COOL STUDENT: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!
酷學生：太好了，我沒做作業！
TEACHER: Where were you born?
老師：你出生在哪里？
STUDENT: Singapore, Sir.
學生：新加坡。
TEACHER: Which part?
老師：哪部分（哪個地區？）
STUDENT: All of me, Sir.
學生：我整個都是出生在那兒的，老師。
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence using the word "I."
老師：約翰尼，用“I”開頭造一個句子。
JOHNNY: I is...
約翰尼：I is...
TEACHER: No Johnny, always use "I am."
老師：不對，約翰尼，要說“I am”。
JOHNNY: Oh, alright. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
約翰尼：哦，好吧。“I是字母表中的第9個字母。”
TEACHER: What is the longest and what is the shortest?
老師：最長的和最短的分別是什么？
STUDENT: The last several minutes of a class is the longest, while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest.
學生：一堂課的最后幾分鐘最長，考試交卷前的幾分鐘最短。
TEACHER: Michael, go to the map and show me where America is.
老師：邁克爾，到地圖前面指出美洲大陸在哪兒。
MICHAEL: Here it is!
邁克爾：在這兒！
TEACHER: Good. Now class, who discovered America?
老師：很好。現在，同學們告訴我是誰發現的美洲大陸？
STUDENT: Michael!!
學生：邁克爾！
JOHNNY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test, Sir.
約翰尼：老師，我覺得我的試卷不應該得零分。
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
老師：我也同意，可這已經是我能給的最低分了。
TEACHER: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?
老師：關于18世紀偉大的科學家們，你能說點兒什么嗎？
PUPIL: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.
學生：能，老師。他們都死了。
TEACHER: George, didn't you promise me to behave?
老師：喬治，你是不是向我保證過要好好表現的？
GEORGE: Yes sir.
喬治：是的，老師。
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you when you misbehave?
老師：還有，我是不是說過如果你表現不好就要懲罰你？
GEORGE: Yes sir. But since I didn't keep my promise, you don't need to keep yours.
喬治：老師，你是說過。不過既然我沒能遵守我的諾言，你也就不用遵守你的了。
TEACHER: What's the shape of our earth?
老師：地球是什么形狀的？
STUDENT: It's round.
學生：圓的。
TEACHER: Well, how do you know it is round?
老師：那么，你是怎么知道它是圓的呢？
STUDENT: All right, it's square then. I don't want to start an argument about it.
學生：好吧，就算它是方的吧。我可不想就此展開一場爭論。
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
老師：如果我一只手里拿著7個橘子，另一只手里拿著8個橘子，我有什么呀？
CLASS: Big hands!
全班同學：大手！
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.
老師：這個盤子里有一條長著10只腳的蛇。（應為10英尺長的蛇）
STUDENT: You can't fool me, sir... snakes don't have feet.
學生：老師，你騙不了我。蛇沒有腳。
TEACHER: How old is your father?
老師：你爸爸多大了？
STUDENT: As old as me.
學生：和我一樣大。
TEACHER: How can that be?
老師：這怎么可能？
STUDENT: He became a father only when I was born.
學生：我出生時他才成為我爸爸的嘛。
TEACHER: John, I hope I didn't see you looking at Mary's paper.
老師：約翰，我真希望我沒看到你在偷看瑪麗的試卷。
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
約翰：我也真希望你沒看見。
TEACHER: Spell "WATER."
老師：拼出“water（水）”這個詞。
PUPIL: OK, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
學生：H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O。
TEACHER: That doesn't spell "WATER."
老師：這些拼不出“水這個詞”。
PUPIL: Yes, it does it's all the letters from "H to O".
學生：怎么拼不出，這些就是H到O的所有字母。（水的分子式是H2O）
TEACHER: How do you think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces?
老師：你認為莎士比亞是怎樣寫出那些偉大的作品的？
COLLEGE STUDENT: With a pencil, ma'am, either a 2B or not 2B.
大學學生：是用鉛筆，老師，是2B的或者不是2B的。
TEACHER: Jimmy, you missed school last Friday.
老師：吉米，你上星期五沒來上課（你很遺憾沒來上課；miss缺勤；因為沒有……而感到遺憾）
JIMMY: You're wrong, Sir.
吉米：老師，你錯了。
TEACHER: Wrong, how is that?
老師：錯了，怎么會？
JIMMY: I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!
吉米：我是沒來上課，沒錯，可是我一點兒也不遺憾。
TEACHER: Peter, why are you late for school again?
老師：彼得，你為什么又遲到了？
PETER: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
彼得：是這樣的，老師，我夢見我正在踢球，而且比賽進入了加時賽。
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
代課老師：你是不是在嚼口香糖？
BILLY: No, I;m Billy Andersen.
學生：不是，我是比利·安德生。
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
老師：湯米，你為什么總是臟兮兮的？
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
湯米：那是因為比起您來，我要離地面近多了。
TEACHER: Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
老師：約翰尼，你的作文《我的狗》和你哥哥的作文一字不差。你是不是抄的他的呀？
JOHNNY: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
約翰尼：不是的，老師。只是我們寫的是同一只狗！
TEACHER: Mike, name one important thing that we have today and we don't 10 years ago.
老師：邁克，說出一樣我們10年前沒有而現在有了的重要的東西。
MIKE: Me!!!
邁克：我啊！！
TEACHER: David, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
老師：大衛，你怎么不洗臉？我都能看出你早上吃的是什么。
DAVID: What was it?
大衛：是什么？
TEACHER: Eggs.
老師：雞蛋。
DAVID: Wrong, ma'am. That was yesterday.
大衛：錯了，老師。那是昨天吃的。
