SAT經典范文賞析

工業革命 Industrial Revolution
Jessica W. For example, the innovative works of the Industrial Revolution forever changed human existence by pushing technology to the limit. In the 19th century, millions of slaves injured themselves thanks to the vigorous work of handpicking cotton. Fortunately, a famous and brilliant inventor, Eli Whitney, finally created a ground-breaking solution, known as the cotton gin. Furthermore, Eli Whitney needed to think outside of his time's orthodox mind set in order to free millions from the detrimental labor to thrive in more desirable occupations. Several years later, one of the most virtuoso and influential geniuses, Nicholas Ford, created one of society's most profitable and convenient ways of transportation, known as the automobile. Before Ford's invention, carriages and trains were the most popular forms of transportation and a four-wheel personal vehicle was unimaginable. However, with I the affordable Model T vehicle, the public could easily commute to work and travel to farther destinations. Revolutionary inventors, like Eli Whitney and Nicholas Ford, have progressed society through their imaginations.

點評:欣賞一下Jessica詳細描述工業革命的每個句子的過渡詞和偏正短語，我把它們列出來，看看你否能跟上：For example ... In the 19th century ... Fortunately ... Furthermore… Several years later ... Before Ford's invention ... However...搐長使用過渡句和偏正短語，是個好作者。