Unspoken Messages

不言而喻的消息

陳豪在北京的ABC美國(guó)公司工作。他跟美國(guó)同事Amy一起走出會(huì)議室。

(Office ambience)

C:Amy, 今天我第一次主持會(huì)議。你覺(jué)得怎么樣？

A:I thought you did well considering that you have not been in that position before.

C:可我自己覺(jué)得挺糟糕的。雖然來(lái)開(kāi)會(huì)的人并沒(méi)說(shuō)什么，但是我能感覺(jué)到，有好幾個(gè)人并不欣賞我的報(bào)告，或者是根本不感興趣。

A:What made you think that? Anyone in particular?

C:比如說(shuō)吧，會(huì)開(kāi)到一半的時(shí)候，Ken把筆記本一合，雙手抱臂，往椅子上一仰。

A:How did you feel when he did that?

C:我立刻很緊張，覺(jué)得他認(rèn)為我的發(fā)言很糟糕。

A:I noticed that, too. In fact it was pretty obvious to everyone.

C:你覺(jué)得他是故意這樣做的嗎？

A:Knowing Ken, I would say yes and I would add that he wanted to make sure you got the message.

C:如果他對(duì)我有什么意見(jiàn)，我寧可他告訴我。

A:What he did was use his body to send his message. It's a discourteous tactic that many people use in business to express their feelings without putting them in words.

C:你是說(shuō)在商業(yè)界很多人都會(huì)用這種方式表達(dá)自己的看法，而不是直接把意見(jiàn)說(shuō)出來(lái)，那又是為什么呢？

A:Sometimes people feel safer using body language to intimidate or humiliate others.

C:他們?yōu)槭裁磿?huì)覺(jué)得用肢體語(yǔ)言去羞辱別人更安全呢？

A:I am sorry, Chen Hao. Can we continue this later? I need to meet my boss in five minutes.

C:那你先忙。我們一會(huì)兒見(jiàn)。

當(dāng)天下午陳豪和Amy一起喝咖啡。

C:Amy, 你上午說(shuō)有人更愿意用肢體語(yǔ)言表達(dá)自己的看法。這是為什么呢？

A:People can always refute or deny the meaning of their body language.

C:噢，如果有人事后指責(zé)他們表現(xiàn)消極，他們可以矢口否認(rèn)，說(shuō)這是誤會(huì)。那所有人都是有意這樣做的嗎？

A:A lot of people aren't even aware of their body language. I think that it is often unintentional.

C:很多人都是無(wú)意的？你能舉個(gè)例子嗎？

A:Like Sue. Did you notice that she came to our meeting for the first time today?

C:我注意到了，Sue是第一次來(lái)參加會(huì)議，但是她坐在后面的角落里，從頭到尾一言不發(fā)。

A:I think she felt left out.

C:你為什么說(shuō)Sue覺(jué)得自己被忽視了呢？

A:Because the two people closest to her kept moving their chairs with their backs turned more and more to her. I don't think it was intentional—they were just trying to see and hear better.

C:Sue 一定是誤會(huì)了，覺(jué)得別人不歡迎她。

A:That's right. So she withdrew as well.