The Eyes Have It 眼見為實(shí)

陳豪在北京的ABC美國公司工作。他和美國同事Amy剛剛開完會(huì)。

(Office ambience)

A: 陳豪，Do you have a few minutes to talk?

C: Sure, 有什么事嗎？

A: I noticed something in our meeting just now. 做為朋友，我覺得應(yīng)該告訴你。It has to do with good etiquette.

C: 我有什么地方做得不對(duì)嗎？西方禮節(jié)對(duì)我來說還有些陌生，你可得隨時(shí)提醒我。

A: It has to do with body language, specifically eye contact.

C: 肢體語言？Amy, 你能說得具體點(diǎn)兒嗎？

A: We send nonverbal messages with our arms, our legs, our posture, our gestures and most often with our eyes.

C: 你是說能從我眼睛里能看出我的想法嗎？

A: 沒錯(cuò)。比方說，今天開會(huì)時(shí)，your eyes said more than your words or your facial expression. Todd 介紹提案時(shí)，我能看出你不同意他的意見。

C: 奧，你從我眼睛就能看出來？我真的是有異議。可你看出來的？我可是一字都沒說呀。

A: You didn't have to. You rolled your eyes.

C: 我翻眼睛了嗎？我怎么一點(diǎn)兒都沒覺得。

A: 你是下意識(shí)的。You were not aware, but several people at the meeting noticed.

C: 那就是說雖然我嘴上沒表示反對(duì)，其它人還是能夠看出來。Was there anything else that I did with my eyes?

A: Unfortunately, yes. You looked away several times while Todd was speaking.

C: 這有什么不好嗎？他說的我都聽過好幾遍了。

A: 沒錯(cuò)。By not looking at Todd, you gave the impression that you had heard it all before and were not the least bit interested in hearing more.

C: 這我可沒想到。我一直在努力管住自己的嘴巴，不要亂講話。

A: Well, your eyes did that for you.

C: Amy, 你還從我的眼神兒里看出什么了？

A: When you lost complete interest in what Todd was saying, you just stared at him blankly. It was that old "deer in the headlights" look.

C: “車前燈里的鹿”是什么意思啊？

A: For the deer facing the headlights of an oncoming car, its expression is one of looking, but not seeing.

C: 你是說我的眼睛雖然看著Todd，但是別人能看出來，我其實(shí)并沒有聽進(jìn)去？

A: That's right. The courteous professional is as conscious of his body language as he is his spoken language.

C: Amy, 你能不能再提醒我一下，以后要怎么做，省得我的眼睛把我的想法都泄漏出去了。

A: 記住，眼睛是心靈的窗口。Learning to control the message that your eyes send is the key to courteous communication.