三篇比較：考官+貓頭鷹+烤鴨

英文作文：造句第一論證第二

一位考官所寫的例子可以視為模范答案。答題的方式很多，請(qǐng)注意這一篇范文只是其中一個(gè)極好的例子。（This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.）

雅思大作文真題（IELTS Writing Task 2）
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic:

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at leas 250 words.

考官的回答：五段58-51-47-75-42字，總共273字。全文12句，只有一句是簡(jiǎn)單句。其余都是復(fù)雜句，復(fù)合句。

貓頭鷹閑話：考官范文——值得欣賞模仿其造句與論證，不可鉆牛角尖其布局結(jié)構(gòu)。盲目崇拜考官范文的思路，則純屬多余，也未必來電。其實(shí)，瀏覽任何英語(yǔ)讀物都能能為寫作充電。不少人的毛病在于不懂得通電寫作，難怪寫作時(shí)不來電。至于考生閱讀單項(xiàng)表現(xiàn)超強(qiáng)，往往弱項(xiàng)卻是寫作，這完全是因?yàn)閷懽麇憻挷粔颉?br />
看考官范文或任何優(yōu)秀范文都有不同的參考價(jià)值。各類范文看多看久了，誰都好像會(huì)當(dāng)講師，但考前動(dòng)手練習(xí)的經(jīng)驗(yàn)不夠。再說，即使寫作參考書買得再多，也絕對(duì)買不到實(shí)戰(zhàn)經(jīng)驗(yàn)。就如同說，熟讀駕駛規(guī)則是一回事，真正在路上行駛又是另外一回事。【知】與【行】之間的距離難測(cè)。

仿寫范文也是鍛煉寫作的方法之一。將你喜歡的【句子】與【論點(diǎn)】做筆記，學(xué)而時(shí)習(xí)之不亦說乎。范文的結(jié)構(gòu)未必篇篇都適合你的思路開展，所以不一定值得仿效。貓頭鷹認(rèn)為范文的布局雖然因人而異，然而務(wù)必遵守基本的【起承轉(zhuǎn)合】——循規(guī)蹈矩不逾矩。

起》第一段考官引言

復(fù)雜句 1. I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day.（第一句話：申論主題。同意試題的立場(chǎng)--學(xué)童過分專注電腦，產(chǎn)生不良影響。）
復(fù)雜句 2. This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long time can be damaging to both the eyes and physical posture of a young child, regardless of what they are using the computer for.（第二句話：考官并沒有明顯的指引出中體段落的論證方向。考官妙在指出無論電腦的用途如何，如果天天久久坐在銀幕前面，對(duì)于幼童的眼睛和身體有害。這一點(diǎn)，在中體三段中，并沒有按牌面發(fā)展下去。注意到引言中一針見血，看不到嘔心的鸚鵡句子，如“銅板有兩面”，“有人認(rèn)為，也有人認(rèn)為，至于我個(gè)人則認(rèn)為，”——陳腐廢話。）

承》第二段考官中體段A

復(fù)雜句 1. However, the main concern is about the type of computer activities that affect children.（指標(biāo)句：topic sentence）
復(fù)雜句 2. These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent.
復(fù)合句 3. The player is usually the 'hero' of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centered and insensitive to others.

轉(zhuǎn)》第三段考官主體段B

復(fù)合句 1. Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends, it is no substitute for human interaction.（指標(biāo)句：topic sentence）
復(fù)雜句 2. Spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.

轉(zhuǎn)》第四段考官主體段C

簡(jiǎn)單句 1. In spite of this, the obvious benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied.（指標(biāo)句：topic sentence）
復(fù)合句 2. Their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology and the Internet is key to all the knowledge and information available in the world today.
復(fù)雜句 3. Therefore it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.

合》第五段考官結(jié)論

復(fù)雜句 1. I think the main point is to make sure that young children do not overuse computers.（重申主題）
復(fù)雜句 2. Parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity and not simply sit at home, learning to live in a virtual world.(提出建議）

英文寫作練習(xí)：【隱形模板】摹寫考官范文。人人皆可模仿考官范文，稍作更改，進(jìn)步加快。考官【造句】第一，值得認(rèn)真學(xué)習(xí)。考官【論證】第二，也值得參考。（千萬不要迷信所有考官的作文布局。另外，貓頭鷹Essay不喜歡用——"I", "me". "my".）

貓頭鷹堅(jiān)持布局四段回答所有論說文真題。千篇一律裝配18句話【起3承6轉(zhuǎn)6合3】. 考雅思？考托福？鼓勵(lì)候選人復(fù)習(xí)時(shí)不忘親自用心動(dòng)手習(xí)作，領(lǐng)悟出自己專用的應(yīng)試模板，期待臨場(chǎng)時(shí)得心應(yīng)手。

新手考前習(xí)作，貴能持之以恒。如果自覺【造句】和【論證】的功力不足，當(dāng)務(wù)之急是廣泛瀏覽高分范文（包掛考官范文），多多預(yù)算，有樣學(xué)樣, 抄抄寫寫，若有所思。再說一次，在考前悟出自創(chuàng)模板（個(gè)性模板一個(gè)就足以應(yīng)付所有的議論文試題）。

考官英文作文：作文隨心所欲；英文自然道地。貓頭鷹英文作文：作文循規(guī)蹈矩；英文竭其所能。

閱讀考官作品，老是好像缺點(diǎn)找不到而優(yōu)點(diǎn)學(xué)不到。老外的母語(yǔ)英文可圈可點(diǎn)--語(yǔ)言效率(rhetoric)，句型變化(syntax)，詞匯恰當(dāng)(lexicon)。可是又以為考官作文不按牌理出牌，令學(xué)習(xí)者或無所適從，或不敢領(lǐng)教。貓頭鷹僅以學(xué)習(xí)的心態(tài)，臨摹一篇。東施效顰，請(qǐng)勿見笑。

文抄公范文：學(xué)童電腦（海盜版）. 基本上，謝振禮【隱形模板】：四段18句【起3承6轉(zhuǎn)6合3】。預(yù)計(jì)字?jǐn)?shù)：300-360字（雅思托福一樣）：【起】50-60字【承】100-120字【轉(zhuǎn)】100-120字【合】50-60字。

心圖大綱（簡(jiǎn)單扼要，一念之間制作心圖，肯定考生沒有時(shí)間打草稿）：答題立場(chǎng)（同意的觀點(diǎn)，也就是說兒童過分使用電腦則會(huì)產(chǎn)生不利的影響。這就是答題立場(chǎng)所產(chǎn)生的的主題。）習(xí)慣成自然——堅(jiān)持四段：起1. 申論主題。承2. 支持主題。轉(zhuǎn)3. 支持主題。合4. 重申主題。

雅思真題：學(xué)童電腦（范文仿寫者：貓頭鷹）

起——【利vs弊】?jī)和m當(dāng)使用電腦則有利；過度使用則對(duì)身心有害。
承——【利】今日兒童有利的學(xué)習(xí)工具；未來有利的工作工具。
轉(zhuǎn)——【弊】?jī)和焯斐瑫r(shí)使用電腦則對(duì)身體與心理發(fā)展不利。
合——【利vs弊】?jī)和褂秒娔X應(yīng)適可則有利；失控時(shí)間與內(nèi)容則有害。

【起】Introduction
1. 申論主題
Young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day, regardless of what they are using the computer for.
2. 集中焦點(diǎn)
The point is that kids need to learn computer skills, but they should not be allowed to sit in front of a screen for too long.
3. 話分兩頭
While the computer, and along with it the Internet, can be advantageous, over-exposure can be damaging both physically and mentally.

【承】Body A
1. 指標(biāo)A
The obvious benefits of computer skills now and in the future cannot be denied.
2. 支持句
These days, the computer has become an indispensable learning tool for young children at school and at home.
3. 支持句
In the time to come, their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology and the Internet is the key to all knowledge and information available anytime and anywhere.
4. 支持句
This being the case, they are likely to be disadvantaged if they do not know enough digital skills.
5. 支持句
That is partly why it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.
6. 支持句
Simply put, no child should be left behind and turn out to be somewhat illiterate digitally.

【轉(zhuǎn)】Body B
1. 指標(biāo)B
However, the main concern is not only about the type of computer activities that attract children but also about how much time spent for that matter.
2. 支持句
To illustrate, these are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent.
3. 支持句
In this light, the player is usually the make-believe 'hero' of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centered and insensitive to others.
4. 支持句
Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends or checking Facebook, it is no substitute for human face-to-face interaction.
5. 支持句
That is to say, spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an essential part of a child's mental development that cannot be provided by a computer.
6. 支持句
Without a doubt, too heavy consumption of screen time can be harmful to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child, not to mention the epidemic phenomenon of childhood obesity due partly to lack of physical exercise.

【合】Conclusion
1. 二合為一
In sum, there are undesirable effects on children relying too much on the computer, in spite of all the advantages it has to offer.
2. 還原焦點(diǎn)
Therefore, enough is enough and it is important to make sure that young children do not overuse computers.
3. 重申主題
The bottom line is that parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity as well, instead of simply sitting long hours at home like "mouse potatoes", for any purpose.

（ielts360toefl@hotmail.com 本篇范文仿寫考官：學(xué)童電腦。謝振禮2011-2012年范文集錦中的近似雅思范文：8125 電腦兒童，8446 早學(xué)電腦。）

Sample Essay: "Computers and Children"
烤鴨作文（謝振禮老師指導(dǎo)）。答題的立場(chǎng)傾向：兒童使用電腦——利大弊小。心圖大綱：

起——positive—academically and professionally
承——academically
轉(zhuǎn)——professionally
合——academically and professionally—positive

起——引言 Introduction

While excessive exposure to the computer screen can be damaging to children physically and mentally, the overall effects of using the computer, and along with it the Internet, are more positive than negative. It is understood that children should be encouraged to use and not to overuse this modern technological equipment. The views for supporting this argument are academic and professional.

承——中體 Body A

From an academic perspective, computers are an invaluable resource to help students explore the world around them. To start with, children who use the Internet to satisfy their curiosity about diverse academic disciplines are already becoming independent learners. That is one reason why children should acquire enough computer skills at an early age. Further, at various learning stages, more information and knowledge can be made accessible to them more easily anytime and anywhere. There is no denying that computer skills have become a must-have throughout young people's studies in today's world. It is also clear that, in the academic environment, computers are actually an essential part of everyday life.

轉(zhuǎn)——中體 Body B

In view of children's professional success later in life, the importance of these computer skills cannot be over-emphasized. People who do not know well how to use such technology are likely to be disadvantaged in the workplace. Nowadays, parents are increasingly aware that allowing their children to use the computer daily for a couple of hours is not a waste of time, but is actually preparing them for future jobs. That is to day, it is an investment in the child's future career because computer skills are also job skills. So, in a positive sense, the more enthusiastically children use the computer, the more confidence they will have when looking for employment in the time to come. Such benefits are just too obvious to be ignored.

合——結(jié)論 Conclusion

To conclude, the computer is playing a critical role in young people's learning experience and future working lives. However, the point is that parents should as well monitor their children's screen time for health reasons. After all, as a technological tool, the computer is here to stay.
(A student's essay, checked and corrected by Jeenn Lee Hsieh )