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After the show, the Hsus, the Jongs, and the St. Clairs from the Joy Luck Club came up to my mother and father.
演出結束后，喜福會的蘇家、龔家和圣克萊爾夫婦走到父母跟前。
"Lots of talented kids," Auntie Lindo said vaguely, smiling broadly.
“這么多有才的孩子，”琳朵阿姨咧開嘴微笑著，含糊其辭。
"That was something else," said my father, and I wondered if he was referring to me in a humorous way, or whether he even remembered what I had done.
“那是另一回事兒，”父親說。我拿不準他是否在幽默地暗指我，還是他記得我的表現。
Waverly looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. "You aren't a genius like me," she said matter-of-factly. And if I hadn't felt so bad, I would have pulled her braids and punched her stomach.
威芙麗看著我，聳聳肩，“你可不及我那么有才氣。”她道出事實。要不是我當時感覺很糟？我一定會抓住她的小辮揍她的肚子。
But my mother's expression was what devastated me: a quiet, blank look that said she had lost everything. I felt the same way, and and it seemed as if everybody were now coming up, like gawkers at the scene of an accident, to see what parts were actually missing. When we got on the bus to go home, my father was humming the busy-bee tune and my mother was silent. I kept thinking she wanted to wait until we got home before shouting at me. But when my father unlocked the door to our apartment, my mother walked in and went straight to the back, into the bedroom. No accusations, No blame. And in a way, I felt disappointed. I had been waiting for her to start shouting, so I could shout back and cry and blame her for all my misery.
可母親的表情卻令我驚訝：那是平靜、茫然的表情，表明她已失去一切。我的感覺也是如此，好像所有的人都在亊故現場看熱鬧，想看看到底是出了什么事。我們乘公交車回家的路上，父親哼著忙碌的蜜蜂那首曲子，母親一聲不吭。我一直在想她回到家后再沖我大叫，可父親打開公寓的房門后，母親竟直奔里面的臥室。沒有責備，沒有埋怨。我感到有些失望。我一直等著她沖我發火，這樣我才能頂撞她，哭訴、埋怨她帶給我的痛苦。
I assumed my talent-show fiasco meant I never had to play the piano again. But two days later, after school, my mother came out of the kitchen and saw me watching TV.
我想才藝表演時失敗意味著我以后不用練琴了。可兩天后，母親從廚房里出來看見我放學后正看電視。
"Four clock," she reminded me, as if it were any other day. I was stunned, as though she were asking me to go through the talent-show torture again. I wedged myself more tightly in front of the TV.
“四點了。”她像平時那樣提醒我。我驚呆了，好像她讓我再次經歷才藝表演的煎熬。我坐在電視機前，紋絲沒動。
"Turn off TV," she called from the kitchen five minutes later.
“關上電視。”她五分鐘后從廚房里喊道。
I didn't budge. And then I decided. I didn't have to do what my mother said anymore. I wasn't her slave. This wasn't China. I had listened to her before and look what happened. She was the stupid one.
我一動不動。我決心已定。我不會俯首帖耳，我不是她的奴隸。這兒不是中國。我以前對她言聽計從，結果卻是如此。她愚蠢至極。
She came out from the kitchen and stood in the arched entryway of the living room. "Four clock," she said once again, louder.
她走出廚房，站在通向客廳的拱形門口。“四點了。”她又說了一次，聲音比上一次更大。
"I'm not going to play anymore," I said nonchalantly. "Why should I? I'm not a genius."
“我不想再練了，”我不在乎地說，“為什么要練？我不是天才。”
She walked over and stood in front of the TV. I saw that her chest was heaving up and down in an angry way.
她走過來，站在電視機前。我看見她氣得胸脯起伏不停。
"No!" I said, and I now felt stronger, as if my true self had finally emerged. So this was what had been inside me all along.
“就不練!”我說，感到底氣更足，好像久久隱藏在我心里的真正自我終于浮現。
