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"She's tired I expect,"Claire said, conveying weariness too. She wanted them to go. She could not confide in them. They might sneer. They were not friends any more than the ex-lovers, they were all social appendages, extras, acquaintances cultivated in order to be able to say to other acquaintances, "Well one night a bunch of us went mad and had a nude sit-in..."There was no one she trusted, no one she could produce for her mother and feel happy about it.
“我想她是累了，”克萊爾說，自己也顯露出倦意。她希望客人快些離開。她不可能對他們說心里話，那樣他們會嘲笑她的。他們也算不上什么朋友，與她過去的情人一樣。他們都不過是她的社交附屬物，多余的人，泛泛之交，和這些人的關(guān)系于她只不過是為了可以哪一天 和其他的泛泛之交說:“有一天晚上，我們一幫人發(fā)瘋了，舉行了一次裸體靜坐示威……”沒有一人她能信任，并且可以高高興興向她母親介紹。
"Music, brandy, cigarettes..." They were recalling her, voicing their needs. They stayed until they'd finished the packet, which was well after midnight.
“放點(diǎn)音樂吧，再來點(diǎn)白蘭地，還有香煙……”他們一直在叫她，提他們的要求。直到把桌上的煙酒一掃而光，他們才撤離，此刻已過午夜。
Claire hurried to her mother's room and found her awake with the light on.
克萊爾趕緊來到她母親的房間，發(fā)現(xiàn)屋里開著燈，她還沒睡。
"I'm sorry," Claire said.
“真對不起，”克萊爾說。
"You turned on me like a tinker," her mother said, in a voice cracked with emotion.
“你居然像補(bǔ)鍋匠那樣朝我吼叫，”她母親說，激動得嗓音都沙啞了。
"I didn't mean to," Claire said. She tried to sound reasonable; she tried to tell her mother that the world was a big place and contained many people all of whom held various views about various things.
“我根本沒想那樣的，”克萊爾說。她極力想跟母親講道理；試圖告訴她母親，這個世 界很大，什么樣的人都有，他們對各種不同的事物持有很多不同的觀點(diǎn)。
"They're not sincere," her mother said, stressing the last word.
“他們都不真誠，”她母親說。最后兩個字說得很重。
"And who is?" Claire said, remembering the treacherous way the lovers vanished, or how former landladies rigged meters so that units of electricity cost double. Her mother had no notion of how lonely it was to read manuscripts all day, and write a poem once in a while, when one became consumed with a memory or an idea, and then to constantly go out, seeking people, hoping that one of them might fit, might know the shorthand of her, body and soul.
“那你說誰真誠？ ”克萊爾說。她想起了她那些戀人一個個甜言蜜語然后突然消失的樣子,還有以前的那些房東太太為了讓她多付一倍電費(fèi)，在電表上做手腳。她母親根本不理解她整天看書稿是多么孤獨(dú)，有時因?yàn)橄肫鹉臣禄虍a(chǎn)生某種想法而不能自拔時寫首詩，此外就是常常外出在人群中尋找，盼望其中能有一個人適合自己，能很快地了解自己，包括她的身體與靈魂。
"I was a good mother, I did everything I could, and this is all the thanks I get." It was spoken with such justification that Claire turned and laughed, hysterically. An incident leaped to her tongue, something she had never recalled before.
“我是個好母親，我為你做了我能做的一切，而這就是我得到的回報(bào)。”這話說得如此理直氣壯，以至于克萊爾轉(zhuǎn)過身，歇斯底里地大笑起來。她忍不住說起了一件以前從未想起過的往事。
"You went to the hospital," she said to her mother, "to have your toe lanced, and…"
“有一次你去了醫(yī)院，”她對她母親說，“去給你的腳趾拔膿，還有……”
"What are you talking about?" her mother said numbly. The face that was round, in the evening, had become old, twisted, bitter.
“你在胡說些什么？ ”她母親說。她實(shí)在氣呆了，那晚上原本還豐滿的臉一下顯得蒼老，扭曲起來，令人心酸。
