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And then she ended the telephone conversation with my father saying:
隨后她便結束了同我父親的交談：
"Mr. Barrett, Oliver does want you to know that in his own special way ..."
“巴雷特先生，奧利佛的確希望你能知道，盡管他的方式很特別……”
She paused for breath. She had been sobbing, so it wasn't easy. I was much too astonished to do anything but await the end of my alleged"message."
她停下來喘了口氣。她因為一直在抽泣，所以說話很吃力。我一時給弄得目瞪口呆，只能等著她把據說是我“委托轉告的口信”講完。
"Oliver loves you very much," she said, and hung up very quickly.
“其實奧利佛是非常愛你的，”說罷，她立即掛斷了電話。
There is no rational explanation for my actions in the next split second. I must never be forgiven for what I did.
對于接下來一剎那我的所作所為，實在沒法作出任何合乎情理的解釋。我所干的事絕不可寬恕。
I ripped the phone from her hand,then from the socket — and hurled it across the room.
我當時一把從她手中奪過電話，拔出插座——把電話狠狠地扔到屋子的另一頭。
"God damn you, Jenny! Why don't you get the hell out of my life!"
“你真該死，詹妮！你給我滾!”
I stood still, panting like the animal I had suddenly become. Jesus Christ! What the hell had happened to me? I turned to look at Jen.
我一動不動地站在那兒，好像突然變成了一頭野獸在大口大口地喘著粗氣。天哪！我這到底是怎么啦！我轉身去看詹。
But she was gone.
但是她已經不在了。
I mean absolutely gone, because I didn't even hear footsteps on the stairs. Christ, she must have dashed out the instant I grabbed the phone. Even her coat and scarf were still there. The pain of not knowing what to do was exceeded only by that of knowing what I had done.
我是說，她已蹤影全無，因為我連她下樓的腳步聲也沒聽見。天哪，她準是在我搶電話的那一瞬間奪門而出的。連她的外套和圍巾也沒帶上。一陣不知如何是好的痛楚，隨即被一陣更為強烈的痛楚所代替——意識到自己竟然干出這等事兒來。
I searched everywhere.
我四處尋找。
