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打印
"I'm not trying to scare you, but rifles are for men, not boys.
“我不是嚇唬你，但是步槍是為男人準備的，而不是男孩。
If you take this, and we go shooting, you need to accept responsibility every time you pull the trigger. Every bullet. Forever."
如果你拿上這把槍，我們去打獵，你需要為每次扣動扳機承擔責任，每一發子彈。永久。”
I nodded my head. I remember tearing up because the enormity of what he'd said had finally gotten through. I'd have the power of life and death over other people.
我點了點頭。我記得我哭了，因為我終于理解了父親話語的深刻含義。某一天我會有決定別人生死的權利。
It's an awesome and terrifying responsibility, and the person I loved and wanted to impress most in the world had entrusted me with this responsibility.
這是個很棒的而又令人害怕的責任。我愛的人，也是這個世界上我最想給他留下深刻印象的人，把這個責任托付給了我。
That night in Iraq, I performed mundane little tasks as the last five minutes of the lives of those strangers in the truck ticked down.
在伊拉克的那個夜晚，我執行著常規的小任務，同時，那個卡車上陌生人的生命的最后五分鐘正在倒計時。
Checking the safety, straightening the ammo belt so the rounds would feed correctly and not jam, securing my earplugs, spitting out my gum.
我做了射擊準備工作，檢查安全性，拉直彈藥帶，確保子彈能正常發射而不會卡住，固定好耳塞，吐出口香糖。
Over the radio, I checked my clearance to fire. The platoon leader broke in with a yelling whisper: "Check fire, repeat, check fire. DO NOT SHOOT."
通過無線電，我檢查了我的射擊許可。排長的聲音傳了過來，他大聲說：“停火，重復，?；稹２灰_槍?！?/div>
That was weird, I thought. I popped back up to check the truck. Still coming.
我覺得這很奇怪。我快速起身觀察那個卡車。仍然在前進。
Suddenly, a loud burst of machine gun fire erupted from the squad situated near the IED.
突然，簡易爆炸裝置附近的小隊那里傳來了一聲機炮的巨響。
Tracers arced across the night sky toward the truck, low, fast, and deadly.
機炮在夜空中劃出一道弧線，指向那輛卡車，又低，又快，又致命。
A few scattered rifle shots barked out. Then silence. The truck cut a sharp turn back to town and roared off.
有幾聲零星的槍響。然后寂靜?？ㄜ嚰鞭D彎回到城里，呼嘯而去。
Our MRAP raced to where the truck had turned around, spotlights piercing the darkness, guns up and out.
我們的防地雷反伏擊車快速開到卡車掉頭的地方，聚光燈穿透了黑暗，槍口朝天。
Two men—dumped from the truck—lay on the ground, one twitching and bleeding.
兩名男子被人從卡車上扔下來，躺在地上，其中一人抽搐著流血。
The platoon medic kept them alive until a medevac helicopter arrived and ferried them to a hospital.
排醫務人員一直維持著他們的生命，直到一架醫療直升機抵達并將他們送往醫院。
Though I never learned who they were or what they were doing, I was 90 percent sure that night,
雖然我不知道他們是誰，也不知道他們在做什么，但我有90%的把握，
as I am now, that they were coming out to pick up the IED and use it later. The other 10 percent of me sometimes wonders.
現在也是一樣，那天晚上，他們出來取簡易爆炸裝置，以后再用。另外10%的我有時會想，
If I had shot, regardless of who was in the vehicle, under the rules of engagement I would have been cleared legally.
不管車內是誰，如果我開槍了，根據交戰規則，我都可以合法地洗脫罪名。
Ethically I believe I would have been cleared, too, given the circumstances. Morally, I'm not so sure.
從倫理上講，我相信在這種情況下，我也會被無罪釋放。道德上，我不太確定。
Morally, I believe we answer to a higher power than rules of engagement, or even the letter of the law.
從道德上講，我相信我們要對一種高于交戰規則，甚至高于法律條文的力量負責。
Morally, I believe someday I'll be called to account for the things I've done or neglected to do.
從道德上講，我相信總有一天我會被要求對我做過或忽視的事情做出解釋。
Some days, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to do that.
在一些天，我不確定自己能否做到。
What I am sure of today in my early 30s—the same way I was sure of it on that moonless March night when I was 21
在我30歲出頭的時候，我能確定的東西跟我21歲的時候一樣，當時我在3月份的一個沒有月亮的晚上執行任務，
and when I was a wide-eyed child at my family dinner table taking in one of life's most important lessons—
也跟當我還是個睜大眼睛的孩子時，坐在家里的餐桌上，學習人生中最重要的一課時一樣，那就是，
is that once you pull the trigger, you own it forever. Because the bullet never, ever, comes back.
一旦你扣動扳機，你就對此后果永久負責。因為子彈永遠，永遠都不會再回來。
