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That day Alesia was telling me about her extremely conservative Christian upbringing. Her church didn't allow drinking, and in middle age Alesia discovered she loves wine and a good cocktail. "Can you believe it?" she said. "I didn't have my first drink until I was 43!"
那天，阿萊西亞向我講述了她極端保守的基督教教育。她所在的教堂不允許飲酒，在中年時，阿萊西亞發(fā)現(xiàn)自己喜歡葡萄酒和雞尾酒。她說：“你能相信嗎？直到43歲我才第一次喝酒！”
Katie perked up. "I had my first drink when I was 14," she said. This was news to Alesia and Robb, who laughed in the way of parents who figure, What can you do? "Oh, Katie," Alesia said fondly.
凱蒂活躍起來了，她說：“我第一次喝酒是在14歲的時候。”這對阿萊西亞和羅柏來說是個新聞，他們以父母的那種“你還能做什么”的方式大笑。阿萊西亞憐愛地說：“哦，凱蒂。”
One evening Alesia told me their situation still felt unreal. She had never worried about Katie getting into trouble. Katie was sensitive and had a melancholy streak, yes, but she also had a snarky sense of humor. The night before she shot herself, she'd jokingly refused to clean up after dinner, picking up a lamb puppet and saying in a cartoonish voice, "This is ba-a-a-a-a-d."
一天晚上，阿萊西亞告訴我，他們?nèi)杂胁徽鎸嵉母杏X。她從不擔(dān)心凱蒂會惹上麻煩，這個孩子很敏感，有一種憂郁的氣質(zhì)，但她也有一種尖刻的幽默感。在她開槍自殺的前一晚，她開玩笑地拒絕在晚飯后收拾東西，拿起一個羔羊木偶，用卡通化的聲音說：“很糟糕。”
What clues had she missed? Alesia often descended into spirals of guilt and grief, feeling that she'd failed her daughter. She clung to one thing that Kathy Coffman, a clinic psychiatrist, had told her. The suicide attempt -- Alesia almost always called it "the accident" -- was an impulsive act. Five minutes later, or five minutes earlier, and Katie might not have grabbed the rifle.
她漏掉了什么線索？阿萊利亞常常陷入內(nèi)疚和悲傷的漩渦中，覺得自己對不起女兒。她緊緊記住臨床精神病學(xué)家凱西·科夫曼告訴她的一件事。自殺未遂--阿萊西亞幾乎總是稱其為“意外”是一種沖動行為。五分鐘后，凱蒂可能都不會抓起來復(fù)槍。
"It was one moment," Alesia told me. "One moment, 20 seconds, changed our lives."
阿萊西亞說：“那是一瞬間，或許只有20秒，但卻徹底改變了我們的生活。”
