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If you're in touch with your ex, it's inevitable that you'll eventually hear they're getting married someday.
如果你與你的前任還有聯(lián)系，你終會聽到他有一天會結(jié)婚，這是不可避免的。
But how should you deal with the news?
但你應(yīng)該如何處理這個消息呢？
Imagine you're just casually scrolling through your social software, not really seeing anything that catches your interest.
想象一下，你只是隨意瀏覽社交軟件，但并沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)任何你感興趣的事情。
And then suddenly a familiar name pops up, a name that once crossed your lips very often. It's the name of your ex.
然后突然間出現(xiàn)了一個熟悉的名字，這個名字曾經(jīng)經(jīng)?？M繞在你的嘴唇上。這是你的前任的名字。
So how should you go about this? What's the best way to deal with the news?
那么你應(yīng)該怎么做呢？處理這個消息的最好方法是什么？
Today I am gonna share some tips and stories with you.
今天跟大家分享一些小貼士和故事。
Adventure Yourself
去冒個險
New memories can overweigh old dusty ones. That's just science.
新鮮的記憶會淡化那些老舊的記憶，這很科學(xué)。
So it can be really helpful to either plan a trip or just try something new.
出去旅個游，做點新鮮事兒都是很有幫助的。
This fall, an ex of mine got hitched and my best friend and I drove to Toronto on a whim.
我前任今年秋天結(jié)婚了，我和朋友們一時興起，開車去了多倫多。
Exploring a new city was the perfect distraction and it also helped to be as far away from the scene of the crime as possible.
探索從未去過的城市成功地轉(zhuǎn)移了我的注意力，也讓我遠(yuǎn)離了那個傷心地，使我振作起來。
The distance was refreshing and the adventure was healing.
這次冒險非常治愈。
Have Your Friends Remind You 'Why It Didn't Work Out'
找個朋友點醒你
With all past relationships it can be easy to over-romanticize what you once had.
過去的已經(jīng)過去，但是人往往容易覺得失去的才最美，并且不斷美化失去的戀情。
Distance does make the heart grow fonder.
距離確實產(chǎn)生美啊。
The night my very first boyfriend got married, my best friends came over and opened a bottle of Dom Perignon I'd been saving.
我第一個男朋友結(jié)婚的那個晚上，我和閨蜜們一起開了我珍藏的香檳。
We proceeded to have a champagne "roast" of my ex and all the ways we were ultimately incompatible.
我們邊喝邊吐槽我前任，聊讓我們最終分手的種種原因。
It was SO good to just make light of things and laugh about all of the reasons we were better off with other people.
我們開著玩笑，說找到新的男朋友我可能會過得更好，這感覺真是太棒了。
If this is a little dark for your taste, have your friends toast you and how badass you are.
如果這對你來說有點暗黑了，那就讓你的朋友把你夸上天吧……
Know That However You Feel Is Fine
不管你是什么感受都可以
Sometimes it's hard to decipher how exactly you're feeling when an ex gets married.
其實，前任結(jié)婚的時候，你的內(nèi)心感受一般都很復(fù)雜，難以表述。
You go from nostalgic to hurt to indignant and back again.
懷舊、傷心、憤憤不平……如此循環(huán)往復(fù)。
A good thing to do the weekend your ex gets married is just let yourself feel whatever you want.
前任結(jié)婚的那個周末，你還可以花上點時間，感受下自己的情緒。
You're not pathetic if you are sad; you're not cold-hearted if you're not.
如果你很傷心，你也并不可悲；如果你不傷心，你也并不冷血。
If you're still bitter, fine, and if you are genuinely happy for him, fantastic.
如果你還是難過，沒問題，如果你真的為他開心，那就太棒了。
Limit social media stalking
別看TA朋友圈了
Especially if the relationship still stings or was fairly recent, the less you know about this wedding, the better.
尤其是當(dāng)你還很在意這段感情，或者你們剛剛分手。關(guān)于婚禮，你知道的越少越好。
This fall when my most recent ex got married,
我最近的一個前任秋天結(jié)婚了，
I decided I could look at my ex's Weibo once just so that my brain would know it was actually happening.
我決定去她的Weibo上看一眼，好讓自己清醒一點。
I said I'd just look at the most recent one.
我決定只看她最新的一條（關(guān)于結(jié)婚的）狀態(tài)。
It was very surreal and I completely lost my marbles for a second,
當(dāng)時我失神了一會兒，
but would you believe me if I told you that after that I never looked again?
但在這之后，我都沒再去社交媒體上看過她。你信嗎？
Well, that's true. All of that to say, less is definitely more if you are hurting.
是真的。告訴你，如果你難過，少看社交媒體為妙。
Marriage is not a race. It's not even a valid measurement for success or happiness.
婚姻不是比賽，它也不是成功或幸福的衡量標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
Someday, it may be your ex who finds out that you're the one about to get married.
也許有一天，你的前任才是那個發(fā)現(xiàn)你即將結(jié)婚的人。
Then they would be the one going through all the steps mentioned above.
他們也許成為踐行上述步驟的那個人。
But by then, you'd probably be too deliriously happy with your wedding to even care!
但到那時，你可能只顧著為婚禮開心而不在乎其他了！
