評(píng)論
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Four years ago, my lovely wife Gauri and me decided to have a third child.
四年前，我和我太太高麗決定要第三個(gè)孩子。
It was claimed on the net that he was the love child of our first child who was 15 years old.
結(jié)果網(wǎng)上居然說，那是我的大兒子的小孩，我的大兒子，他四年前只有15歲。
Apparently, he had sown his wild oats with a girl while driving her car in Romania.
網(wǎng)上居然說，是他在羅馬尼亞和他的女友搞車震，播下的野種。
And yeah, there was a fake video to go with it.
而且啊還流出一段假視頻。
And we were so disturbed as a family.
我們?nèi)叶疾豢捌鋽_。
My son, who is 19 now, even now when you say "hello" to him,
我的兒子，現(xiàn)在19歲了，現(xiàn)在就算你只是跟他打個(gè)招呼說“你好"，
he just turns around and says, "But bro, I didn't even have a European driving license."
他都會(huì)馬上說，“嘿伙計(jì)，我根本沒有歐洲駕照?！?/p>
Yeah. In this new world, slowly, reality became virtual and virtual became real,
是啊。在這個(gè)嶄新的世界里，慢慢地真假變得難以區(qū)分，
and I started to feel that I could not be who I wanted to be or say what I actually thought,
我開始覺得，我不能做我自己，我不能隨便發(fā)表我的想法，
and humanity at this time completely identified with me.
而此時(shí)的人性就跟我一模一樣。
I think both of us were going through our midlife crisis, and humanity, like me, was becoming an overexposed prima donna.
和我一起步入了中年危機(jī)，人性就像我，變成了一個(gè)整天被狗仔隊(duì)追趕的主角。
I started to sell everything, from hair oil to diesel generators.
我開始販賣一切，從發(fā)油到柴油發(fā)電機(jī)。
Humanity was buying everything from crude oil to nuclear reactors.
而人性開始收買一切，從原油到核反應(yīng)堆。
You know, I even tried to get into a skintight superhero suit to reinvent myself. I must admit I failed miserably.
你知道，為了重新塑身，我甚至還想過穿超人緊身衣。
And just an aside I want to say on behalf of all the Batmen, Spider-Men and Supermen of the world,
我必須承認(rèn)我徹底失敗了，在此打個(gè)岔，代表蝙蝠俠、蜘蛛人還有這個(gè)世界的超人們，
you have to commend them, because it really hurts in the crotch, that superhero suit.
請(qǐng)各位把掌聲送給他們，因?yàn)榇┏搜b，胯下超疼。
