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But the first time that I took my book out of my suitcase, the coolest girl in the bunk came up to me and she asked me,
但是當我第一次把書從行李箱中拿出來的時候，床鋪中最酷的那個女孩向我走了過來，并且她問我：
"Why are you being so mellow?" -- mellow, of course, being the exact opposite of R-O-W-D-I-E.
“為什么你要這么安靜？”安靜，當然，是R-O-W-D-I-E的反義詞，“喧鬧”的反義詞。
And then the second time I tried it, the counselor came up to me with a concerned expression on her face
而當我第二次拿書的時候，我們的顧問滿臉憂慮的向我走了過來，
and she repeated the point about camp spirit and said we should all work very hard to be outgoing.
接著她重復了關于“露營精神”的要點，并且說我們都應當努力去變得外向些。
And so I put my books away, back in their suitcase, and I put them under my bed, and there they stayed for the rest of the summer.
于是我放好我的書，放回了屬于它們的行李箱中，并且我把它們放到了床底下，在那里它們度過了暑假余下的每一天。
And I felt kind of guilty about this.
我對這樣做感到很愧疚。
I felt as if the books needed me somehow, and they were calling out to me and I was forsaking them.
不知為什么我感覺這些書是需要我的，它們在呼喚我，但是我卻放棄了它們。
But I did forsake them and I didn't open that suitcase again until I was back home with my family at the end of the summer.
我確實放下了它們，并且我再也沒有打開那個箱子，直到我和我的家人一起回到家中，在夏末的時候。
Now, I tell you this story about summer camp. I could have told you 50 others just like it
現在，我向你們講述這個夏令營的故事。我完全可以給你們講出其他50種版本就像這個一樣的故事
all the times that I got the message that somehow my quiet and introverted style of being was not necessarily the right way to go,
每當我感覺到這樣的時候，它告訴我出于某種原因，我的寧靜和內向的風格并不是正確道路上的必需品，
that I should be trying to pass as more of an extrovert.
我應該更多地嘗試一個外向者的角色。
And I always sensed deep down that this was wrong and that introverts were pretty excellent just as they were.
而在我內心深處感覺得到這是錯誤的，內向的人們都是非常優秀的，確實是這樣。
But for years I denied this intuition, and so I became a Wall Street lawyer,
但是許多年來我都否認了這種直覺，于是我首先成為了華爾街的一名律師，
of all things, instead of the writer that I had always longed to be
而不是我長久以來想要成為的一名作家，
partly because I needed to prove to myself that I could be bold and assertive too.
一部分原因是因為我想要證明自己也可以變得勇敢而堅定。
And I was always going off to crowded bars when I really would have preferred to just have a nice dinner with friends.
并且當我只是想要和朋友們吃一頓愉快的晚餐時，我總是去那些擁擠的酒吧。
And I made these self-negating choices so reflexively, that I wasn't even aware that I was making them.
我做出了這些自我否認的抉擇，如條件反射一般，甚至我都不清楚我做出了這些決定。
