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You're finally meeting his family of eight over a home-cooked meal big enough for 30...when you need to bake a keister casserole.
你終于在一頓足以喂飽三十個人的家常大餐上見到他一家八口...這時你卻必須去燒一鍋屁屁燉菜。
Hi, uh, where is the restroom?
嗨，呃，洗手間在哪呢？
Uh, it's right behind you.
呃，就在你后面。
Right behind me? Oh, that is convenient!
就在我后面？噢，還真方便!
Now, what do you do?
現(xiàn)在，你要怎么做？
He's really hot. Most of the time I get real big trolls. I need you. Help me out!
他真的很性感。我之前大部分都是遇到大丑男。我需要你。幫我個忙!
Oh my gosh. What did I do? What did I eat? Oh, no!!
我的老天。我做了什么？我吃了什么？喔，不!
After you answer Mother Nature's booty call, you fill the air with synthetic citrus,
在你回應(yīng)大自然之母對屁股的召喚后，你在空氣中噴滿人工合成的柑橘味，
hoping the scent of last night's burrito won't follow you back to the table.
盼望昨晚墨西哥卷餅的氣味不會跟著你回到餐桌。
That was a bad choice. They're gonna know my secrets.
那是個糟透的選擇。他們會知道我的秘密。
And they're gonna hate me, and I'm never gonna find love. Maybe more, maybe more, oh, maybe more.
而且他們會討厭我，然后我就再也找不到愛了。也許再多點，也許再多點，噢，也許再多點。
Oh, come on. Come on. And everyone's gonna be married with kids, and I'm gonna be a lone lady with cats!
噢，來吧。來吧。所有人都會結(jié)婚生小孩，但我會變成一個只有貓咪作伴的孤單老女人!
Smells like...diaper gravy! Smells like, uh... It's got some fruit notes. Is...is it shitrus?!
聞起來像...尿布鹵汁!聞起來像，呃...有點水果味。這...這是屎味柑橘嗎？!
I can taste it! It's atomic!
我可以嘗得到!這臭味有原子彈的威力!
It's...it's stinging! It's stinging! It's...burning! My eyes... It's in my eyes. She ruined my dinner!
好...刺!好刺!它在...燃燒!我的眼睛... 在我的眼睛里。她毀了我的晚餐!
Oh, this is really important. I better take this. Excuse me.
噢，這真的很重要。我最好接一下這通電話。容我離開一下。
You tuck that turtlehead back in its shell and toot, scoot, and boogie to the backyard.
你縮回便意，然后一邊發(fā)出噗噗噗的聲響，快步疾走到后院。
You pop a squat and push it. P-p-push it real good. And just when you think you've gotten away with your rectal ruse...
你蹲下解放并使力推擠。推、推、推得極為賣力。而正當(dāng)你以為沒人發(fā)現(xiàn)你直腸耍的小花招時...
Please! Please...I-I won't tell if you don't tell. No deal!
拜托!求你了...我－－如果你不說出去我就不會說。門兒都沒有!
Why? Why can't you be a nice grandma that bakes pies and knits sweaters?
為什么？為什么你不能是一個烤派和織毛衣的好奶奶？
Please excuse me.
請容我離開一下。
Before you pass the chocolate delights, you spritz the bowl with Poo-Pourri.
在你端出巧克力美食前，你把Poo-Pourri噴在馬桶里。
Nice. Whew! That was a good one, but it smells good, too. You did so good.
贊。唷呼!那個不錯喔，而且聞起來也很不錯。你做得真好。
I just pooped, and it smells fabulous. Yeah! Bring it down, bring it down...downtown I did, right?! Yeah! Yeah!
我剛拉屎，它超好聞。耶!就是這樣、就是這樣...我做到了，對吧？!耶!耶!
All they'll be able to smell is an appetizing blend of natural essential oils.
他們能聞到的只有刺激食欲的天然精油混合香味。
Oh, that's heavenly. I don't remember putting a lemon meringue pie in the oven.
噢，那真是太美好了。我不記得有在烤箱里放檸檬蛋白派啊。
Whatever that smell is, I wanna eat it right now with my mouth.
不管那是什么味道，我想要現(xiàn)在就吃掉它，此時此刻，用我的嘴。
It smells like sunshine! And Froot Loops! Very nice blend.
聞起來像陽光!還有彩色麥片圈圈!非常棒的交融。
Marry this one, man. I mean, she poops pies. Am I right? Just like me! Just like you!
娶這女人回家吧，兄弟。我的意思是，她便出派耶。我說對了嗎？就像我!就像你!
Winner, winner, burrito dinner.
贏家、贏家，廁所的贏家。
Control the "shituation" with Poo-Pourri-the Before-You-Go Toilet Spray that creates a film on the water's surface that actually traps odor before it begins.
用Poo-Pourri掌控“屎況”--它是會在水面上制造一層薄膜的“事前”廁所噴霧，那層薄膜在氣味開始發(fā)散前就能確實抑制臭氣。
If your poo stinks, click here to get your Poo-Pourri today at poopourri.com.
如果你的便便散發(fā)惡臭，今天就點擊這里前往poopourri.com取得你的Poo-Pourri。
Poo-Pourri. When the glasses clink, don't ruin the party with a stink.
Poo-Pourri。當(dāng)大家舉杯歡慶時，別讓臭臭壞了派對興致。
