Chapter II
第二章
I cannot recall what happened during the first months after my illness. I only know that I sat in my mother's lap or clung to her dress as she went about her household duties. My hands felt every object and observed every motion, and in this way I learned to know many things. Soon I felt the need of some communication with others and began to make crude signs. A shake of the head meant "No" and a nod, "Yes," a pull meant "Come" and a push, "Go." Was it bread that I wanted? Then I would imitate the acts of cutting the slices and buttering them. If I wanted my mother to make ice-cream for dinner I made the sign for working the freezer and shivered, indicating cold. My mother, moreover, succeeded in making me understand a good deal. I always knew when she wished me to bring her something, and I would run upstairs or anywhere else she indicated. Indeed, I owe to her loving wisdom all that was bright and good in my long night.
在我生病之后的頭一個月里發生了什么,我已經記不得了。我只知道我曾坐在母親的腿上,或者在她做家務的時候緊緊地依附在她的衣服上。我的雙手可以感知每一種物體的形狀,也可以“觀察”每一個移動的物體,正是通過這種方式,我了解了許多事情。后來,我覺得我需要同他人進行交流,于是我開始做出一些簡單的舉動。比如用搖頭表示“不”,用點頭表示“行”;往回拉的動作表示“回來”,向外推則表示“去”。如果我想吃面包怎么辦?我會模仿切面包片,然后往上涂抹黃油的動作。假如我想讓母親在晚餐時做點冰激凌吃,我就會做出攪動和渾身顫抖的動作,這表示“冰涼”。此外,我的母親也成功地讓我領會了很多事情。當她想讓我為她拿東西的時候,我馬上就能理解,我會跑到樓上或者她告訴我的其他任何地方。事實上,在夤夜漫漫的生活中,我要感謝母親用她富于智慧的無私之愛驅除掉我身邊的黑暗,讓我體會到生命的美好。
I understood a good deal of what was going on about me. At five I learned to fold and put away the clean clothes when they were brought in from the laundry, and I distinguished my own from the rest. I knew by the way my mother and aunt dressed when they were going out, and I invariably begged to go with them. I was always sent for when there was company, and when the guests took their leave, I waved my hand to them, I think with a vague remembrance of the meaning of the gesture.
我明白我的未來所面臨的巨大考驗。在我五歲的時候,我學會了把干凈的衣服疊好并且收起來,而且,在洗衣房送來的衣物中,我會辨別出哪些是自己的衣服。通過這種方式,我也順便知道了母親和姨媽會在什么時候外出。我總是央求她們帶我一起去。家里有客人來的時候,我會主動打招呼;當他們走的時候,我會朝他們揮手道別。當然,關于那些手勢的記憶是含混不清的。