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It's useful, in part, because it reminds us that we all have feelings that we don't act upon, maybe shouldn't act upon.
它的好處在于，這種區(qū)分提醒我們：我們都有很多并沒有付諸行動的，或者本就不該付諸行動的情感和感受。
I'll give you an example.
比如。
Sometimes I'm in line, and there's somebody in front of me with one of those bluetooth earpieces on.
有時我在排隊的時候，前面有個人帶著藍(lán)牙耳機嘰嘰喳喳個沒完。
And they're chattering and chattering, completely oblivious to the people behind them, we're all waiting while they keep chattering.
我行我素，完全不顧及后面被打擾的人的感受。
And sometimes, when that happens, I fantasize for just a split second about pulling out a sword and chopping of their ear.
而當(dāng)這種情況出現(xiàn)時，有時我腦海里就會閃現(xiàn)這樣的念頭：我拔出一把寶劍，一劍下去切掉他的耳朵。
Whoosh! I don't act on that feeling; don't act on that feeling.
"嗖"的一聲，世界清靜了。我并沒有把這種感受付諸行動。
You may have had similar feelings.
相信你們也會在某些時候有類似的感受。
We all have feelings we don't act upon, and that's part of being a grownup.
我們都會產(chǎn)生一些感受，卻不遵循它們?nèi)バ袆印＿@是成熟的表現(xiàn)。
That's part of being a human being; you have self-restraint.
這是人的正常表現(xiàn)。你會有自制力。
Just because you have a feeling, doesn't mean you ought to act on it, and this distinction reminds us of that.
并不僅僅因為你產(chǎn)生了一種感受，就意味著你一定要將其付諸行動。這種區(qū)分方法提醒我們這個道理。
It's a problematic distinction because it over-simplifies.
而另一方面，這種區(qū)分方式也存在著過于簡化的問題。
For one thing, it draws a very sharp contrast between feelings and activities, when the contrast between those things is not always so sharp.
比如，它在情感感受與具體行為之間，劃出了一條非常清晰的界線，而界線的兩邊，情感感受和具體行為實際上卻往往不是那么涇渭分明的兩種事物。
Sometimes they're intimately connected.
有時這兩者緊密相連。
Sometimes who we are and what we do are profoundly connected, and this distinction maybe makes us forget that a little bit.
有時，"我們是誰"和"我們要做什么"這兩者有著極大的關(guān)聯(lián)，而這種武斷的區(qū)分，會讓我們忘了這一點。
It's also problematic because it over-simplifies each of the elements involved, both sexual orientation and sexual activity.
這種區(qū)分的另一個糟糕之處是它過度簡化了問題里相關(guān)的元素：性取向和性行為。
Let me say something about each of those elements.
我不妨解釋一下兩者。
Let's start with activity.
先從行為開始。
What do I mean when I say, "homosexual activity?"
當(dāng)我們提到"同性性行為"的時候，我們指的是什么？
Well, what do I mean when I say, "heterosexual activity?"
當(dāng)我們提到"異性性行為"的時候，我們指的又是哪些東西？
Intercourse? Sure. What about kissing? Sometimes.
是指"性交"嗎？當(dāng)然！那么"接吻"算嗎？有時候算。
What about holding hands?
那么"牽手"呢？
What about going for a romantic walk with someone?
或者"浪漫地和某人一起散步"？
What about making a nice dinner for someone?
又或者"給某人做一頓美味佳肴"？
What about waiting outside someone's door because you have a crush on that person?
抑或僅僅是"在暗戀的對象家門前守候"。
Yeah, you know who you are.
可別想歪了哦。
Think about all of the activities that make up our romantic lives, broadly understood.
大家想象一下那些構(gòu)成我們情感生活的所有行為，那么答案顯而易見。
When we talk about heterosexuality, we talk about that wide range of activities.
當(dāng)我們討論異性戀的時候，我們會去討論上面的這些各種各樣的行為。
When we talk about homosexuality, we focus on the sex part of it.
而當(dāng)我們討論同性戀的時候，我們卻把所有的焦點集中在"性"這一點上。
And that gives us the kind of picture like the bedroom is the only room in the homosexual person's house
這給了人們一種錯覺，仿佛同性戀家里只有一間屋子，那就是臥室，
or the most important part of our lives and relationships, and it's a false picture.
仿佛性才是我們生活中和情感里最重要的東西，而這大錯特錯。
This is not the only time we get this sort of false contrast.
這已經(jīng)不是第一次遇到這種錯誤的區(qū)別對待了。
I mean we say things. We say, yeah, heterosexual people, we talk about relationships.
人們討論問題的時候，當(dāng)討論異性戀者，會去他討論他們的"情感生活"。
Homosexual people, we talk about sex.
而當(dāng)說到同性戀者，卻只會討論"性"這個話題。
We say heterosexual people have lives; homosexual people have "lifestyles."
人們會說，異性戀者過的是"生活"，而同性戀者過的是"生活方式"。
I teach at a state university.
我在州立大學(xué)教書。
I don't make enough money to have a "lifestyle."
我掙得那點錢可讓我過不上什么"生活方式"。
We say heterosexual people have a moral vision; homosexual people have an agenda.
人們會說異性戀者有"倫理道德觀"，而同性戀者是"行事態(tài)度"。
The words we use to talk about these things really affect our way of thinking about them.
我們討論一個事物時用的那些詞匯，會真切地影響到我們思考他們的方式。
Now, I'm going to focus on homosexual sex tonight because that's the part that bothers people,
我們今晚將著重談?wù)勍詰俚男赃@個話題，因為讓很多人感到不安的，正是它。
but I don't want you to get this kind of skewed picture
但是我不想讓你們得到這種歪曲的觀念，
that's the only part of homosexual activity, homosexual relationships, or homosexual people's lives.
以為性是同性戀行為，同性戀情感關(guān)系，或者同性戀群體的人生的全部。
