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Chapter 8
第八章
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up with You
如果他要跟你分手，那他其實沒那么喜歡你
"I Don't Want to Go Out with You" Means Just That
“我不想跟你出去”就是這個意思
Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us.
所有人都希望被愛被需要，尤其是從剛跟我們分手的人那里。
I understand. What could be better than hearing from the man who just told you he didn't want you in his life anymore, his sad, wistful "I miss you so much" voice on the other end of the phone?
我懂得。還有什么比剛跟我們說他的生活不再需要我們的人，用他憂傷，留戀的聲音在電話的另一端說“我太想你了”更好的呢？
It's validating. It's exciting. It's irresistible. But resist you must.
這很有效。這很令人興奮。這是不可抗拒的。但你必須抵抗。
If he's not calling you to tell you he hired a U-Haul to come pick up all your stuff and move it back into his house, then consider yourself a nice, downy little pillow cushioning him from his feelings of loneliness and loss that he's not fully ready to deal with.
如果他不打電話給你說他雇了友好出租來接你，把你的東西都搬回他的房子，那就把自己當作在他還沒有完全準備好應對孤獨與失落時用來緩沖的一個上好的毛茸茸的小枕頭。
The "But He Misses Me" Excuse
“但是他想念我”的借口
Dear Greg,
親愛的格雷格，
My boyfriend and I had been dating for two years, living together for one.
我和我的男友相戀2年了，同居已有一年。
We started fighting and having all sorts of problems.
我們開始吵架，產生了各種各樣的問題。
He broke up with me three weeks ago and I moved out.
他三個禮拜前和我分手了，我搬了出去。
Of course, I'm devastated. The thing is, he calls me all the time. He wants to chat.
當然，我十分絕望。問題是，他一直在給我打電話，希望跟我談談。
He asks about my friends, and wants to know how my family is.
他問候我的朋友，還想知道我家人的近況。
He likes to keep up with the little details of my life, just as if we were going out.
他喜歡保持了解我生活的小細節，就像我們還在戀愛一樣。
My friends all say I should stop talking to him, but I think he misses me, and I like that.
我的朋友們都說我應該停止跟他聊天，但是我認為他想我了，而且我喜歡這樣。
I miss him. I feel if I stay in touch with him, it will remind him of how great I am, and eventually he will realize that we should be together again.
我想念他。我感覺如果我一直保持跟他聯系可以讓他回想起我曾經的好，最后他會意識到我們應該復合。
What do you think?
你覺得呢？
Signed Brenda
布倫達
Dear Misty Watered Colored Memories,
親愛的模糊的摻水的五彩記憶，
So glad he likes to keep up with the Way You Were.
很高興他喜歡繼續保持了解你的生活。
Who doesn't need another phone pal, especially since you have a new phone and a new apartment?
誰不需要個話友？尤其是在你有了一個新電話和新公寓的時候。
Put him on hold and listen to me, missy: A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.
讓他等著，聽我說，小姐：一個真正想讓戀情發展下去的男人會翻山越嶺去留住自己所愛的女人。
If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person.
如果他沒有打電話告訴你他有多愛你，希望你回來，這一定是因為他會在你的新住處出現并親自告訴你。
If he's not trying to romance your socks off with dates, flowers, and poetry, it should only be because he's too engrossed with his couples counseling workbooks and is prioritizing getting back on the right track.
如果他沒有用約會、花朵和情詩給你浪漫的強烈攻勢，那一定是因為他專心于夫妻咨詢手冊，優先回到正軌。
If he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
如果他沒有做以上任何一件事，他可能愛你，他可能想你，但是他終究只是沒有那么愛你。
Stop taking his calls and let him really know what it's like to live without you.
停止接他的電話，讓他真正清楚不再跟你一起生活是什么樣子的。
Greg
格雷格
