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Chapter 5
第五章
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex with Someone Else
如果他跟別人做愛，那他其實沒那么喜歡你
There's Never Going to Be a Good Excuse for Cheating
偷吃永遠不是一個好借口
If he cheats on you, throw the deadbeat out.
如果他出軌，就把這賴賬貨扔出去。
Just kidding. I know things aren't that simple.
開玩笑的。我知道到事情沒有那么簡單。
This is a very complicated subject, I'll admit.
我承認這事兒非常復雜。
Some will argue, "It's just sex, what does it matter?"
有些人會爭辯說，“這只是做愛而已，有什么大不了的？”
Some will argue that you shouldn't throw away a meaningful relationship just because of one indiscretion.
有些人會說你不能因為一次失足就放棄一段彌足珍貴的感情。
This all may be true. But this is what I know: Whatever problems you may have been having in your relationship, they didn't merit him having sex with someone else.
這也許說的對。但是我所知道的是：不管你們的感情出現了什么問題，都不應該是促使他出軌的原因。
Don't ask what you did wrong. Don't share the blame.
不要問自己做錯了什么，不要分擔責任。
And in case he tells you that it just "happened," please remember, cheating doesn't just "happen."
萬一他跟你說那是不小心發生的，請記住，出軌不會不小心發生。
It's not an accident as in, "Oops, I just slipped and fell into a sexual relationship with someone else."
這不是一個意外，“哦，我不小心滑倒，墜入了出軌的境地。”
It was planned and executed with the full knowledge that it could end your relationship.
它是是在全面了解到可能會終結這段戀情的情況下計劃好并執行的。
Know this: If he's sleeping with someone else without your knowledge or encouragement, he is not only behaving like a man who's just not that into you, he's behaving like a man who doesn't even like you all that much.
你要知道：如果在你不知情和不鼓勵的情況下，他和別人睡了，他的表現不僅是沒那么喜歡你，而是完全不喜歡你。
The "He's Got No Excuse and He Knows It" Excuse
“他沒找借口而且他自己知道”的借口
Dear Greg, I have been living with my boyfriend for a year.
親愛的格雷格，我和我男友同居一年了。
I recently found out that about a month ago he slept with someone he worked with, twice. (The girl told me at a party! )
最近我發現一個月前他跟一個同事睡了兩回。（那婊砸在派對上告訴我的！）
I confronted my boyfriend and he confessed.
我跟我男友對質，他承認了。
I packed my things and moved to a friend's.
我收拾了東西搬去朋友家住。
He's now calling me constantly, begging me to give him a second chance.
現在他一直給我打電話，求我再給他一次機會。
He says he doesn't know why he did it, but promises he'll never do it again.
他說他也不知道為什么這么做了，但是答應我再也不犯了。
He really feels bad about it. What should I do?
他對此十分難過，我該怎么辦呢？
Signed Fiona
菲奧納
Dear A Month Ago, Let's see.
親愛的一個月前，讓我想想。
He slept with someone else while he was living with you, and you only found out because the girl told you about it.
他在跟你同居期間跟別人睡了，然后你發現的原因是那個女孩兒告訴你了。
Sounds like a winner. When's the wedding?
聽起來是個贏家。打算啥時候結婚？
Seriously, let's talk about that special month in your home.
嚴肅點兒，讓我們來談談你家這特別的一個月。
In that month, he had sex with someone else twice, came back, and slept in the same bed with you.
在這個月里，他出軌兩次，然后回來跟你躺在一張床上。
He was actively hiding this secret from you every time he looked into your eyes.
他每次直視你的雙眼時都在靈敏地隱藏自己的秘密。
And let's remember, this gentleman didn't confess by his own volition—Skanky the Homewrecker did it for him.
記住，這位紳士并不是在自己的意志下承認錯誤的——是討人嫌的家庭破壞者承認的。
