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Chapter 3
第三章
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You
如果他不跟你約會，那他只是沒那么喜歡你
"Hanging Out" is Not Dating
“出去玩兒”并不是約會
Oh, there seem to be so many variations to dating, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.
哦，看起來約會有很多的變數(shù)，尤其是在戀愛初期。
So many gray, murky areas of vagueness, mystery, and no questions asked.
很多模糊、神秘、無條件的灰色朦朧地帶。
Dudes love this time because that's when they get to pretend they're not really dating you.
男人們喜歡這段時間，因為他們可以假裝并沒有在跟你約會。
Then they also get to pretend they're not really responsible for your feelings.
而且他們還可以假裝不需為你的感情負責(zé)。
When you ask someone out on a real bonafide date, you're making it official: I'd like to see you alone and find out if we have a romantic future together (or at least pretend to listen to you while I ponder whether you're wearing a thong) .
當(dāng)你邀請某人進行一次充滿誠意的約會時，那是很正式的：我希望能和你單獨見面，試試我們是否能開展一段感情。（或者至少在我打量你是否穿著人字拖的時候假裝在聽你講話）。
In case you need more clues: There's usually a public excursion, a meal, and some hand-holding involved.
以防你需要更多的提示：它通常涉及公共游覽、一頓飯和牽手。
The "He Just Got Out of a Relationship" Excuse
“他剛結(jié)束一段感情”的借口
Dear Greg,
親愛的格雷格，
I'm really, really in love. I want to say that first.
我首先申明，我是真的真的墜入了愛河。
I've been sleeping with a really, really good friend of mine who recently got out of a terrible marriage.
我和我一個特別特別要好的朋友睡了，他剛擺脫一段糟糕的婚姻。
Because he is in the process of going through a very traumatic breakup, he's really clear that he can't have any kind of expectations or demands put on him in any way.
由于他正處于痛苦的分手中，他十分明確自己無法承擔(dān)任何形式的期望和要求。
Basically, he wants to come and go as he pleases.
總而言之，他希望自己能隨心所欲自由來去。
We've been seeing each other and sleeping together for six months now.
我們戀愛并一起睡了半年了。
It's very painful not to be able to have any say about when or how often I get to see him.
無權(quán)置喙什么時候、多久見他讓我十分痛苦。
Yet it's also very painful to think about not being with him.
但是想象無法和他在一起也很痛苦。
I don't like being in this powerless a position, but I feel like if I hold out, eventually he'll be mine.
我不喜歡處于這樣的弱勢地位，但是我覺得如果我堅持住了，他遲早會屬于我。
But it's very difficult for me in the meantime. What should I do?
但在此期間我處境艱難。我該怎么辦呢？
Sighed Lisa
麗莎
