Presents 送禮

Foreigner: There is something I can never puzzle out! The other day a Chinese friend who has helped me a lot was celebrating his birthday and I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? “No, no, no! Don’t give me anything. Don’t be polite!” Can you believe it?

外國人：有一件事我始終弄不明白！有個中國朋友幫了我很大的忙。有一天，他過生日。我問他喜歡什么生日禮物。你知道他說什么？“別，別，別，什么也別給。不要客氣！”你相信這事兒嗎？

Chinese:(Laughs) Actually, I can well believe it. It’s a slight misunderstanding because of difference in culture, and also because of faulty language. What he said was a word for word translation from Chinese, but even if he had phrased his idea more idiomatically, you still would have misunderstood him.

中國人：（大笑）其實，我完全相信。這是因為文化不同，加上語言上的毛病而引起的小小誤會。他是從中文逐字譯成英文的。不過即使他的英語表達得更地道，你還是會誤解他的。

Foreigner: What did he mean by refusing a present from me then?

外：那他拒絕接受我的禮物究竟表明什么呢？

Chinese: I don’t think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being “polite”, just as you would say “That’s very kind of you.” He didn’t mean to be rude and certainly he didn’t mean to offend you.

中：我覺得他并不是真的拒絕接受你的禮物。那不過是他表示“客氣”的一種方式，就像你們常說的“你太好了”。他決無惡意，當然無意冒犯你。

Foreigner: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?

外：那你看怎么辦？這種情況我該做什么，該說什么呢？

Chinese: You just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. By the way, do you always ask people what they would like for presents in the west?

中：你必須一再堅持。如果你的朋友是位老先生，你沒準還得多次堅持。即便如此，我仍然懷疑他會給你一個直截了當的答復。順便問一下，在西方，你們總是問別人喜歡要什么禮物嗎？

Foreigner: As a matter of fact, we don’t usually. We might among very intimate friends, and also we sometimes ask children what they would like. Otherwise we just go by the standard items, such as ties or tie-pins for men, pipes or lighters for smokers, household articles for housewives and toys for children. And if we are invited to dinner, we usually take a bottle of table wine with us or some flowers for the hostess.

外：其實我們一般也不，只是在非常好的朋友之間才這樣。另外，有的時候問問孩子他們想要什么。一般情況下，我們也就是送些常規禮物，像給男的買領帶、領帶夾；給抽煙的買煙斗、打火機；給家庭婦女買些家務用具；給孩子們買些玩具之類的東西。如果有人請吃飯，那就帶瓶酒或者給女主人帶些花。

Chinese: We also have our standard items. Chinese tonics such as ginseng or swallow nest are most suitable gifts for elderly people. Chinese spirits and Chinese tea-leaves can also be regarded as standard items, and now with modern people instant coffee is taking the place of Chinese tea. For birthdays and weddings, cash wrapped in red paper is the standard gift.

中：我們也有常規禮物。像人參、燕窩之類的中國滋補品對老人最合適。中國的酒和茶葉也可以看成是常規禮品。現在，對于一些時髦的人來說，速溶咖啡正在取代茶葉的位置。生日或者結婚時送現金紅包也是常規禮品。

Foreigner: We don’t give cash as presents, but book tokens are sometimes given.

外：我們不用現金作禮品，但有的時候會送購書券。

Chinese: Ready cash as a form of gift has its advantages. For the donor, it saves you from racking your brains thinking of something suitable, and especially for the newly-weds, a large sum of money really helps to start a new home.

中：用現金作禮品是有好處的。對送的人來說，省得你挖空心思去想買什么合適。而對結婚的人呢，一大筆錢對他們開始構筑新家的作用就大了。

Foreigner: I see what you mean. I’ve never thought of it that way. There is another thing that puzzled me. The other day another Chinese friend gave me a present. When I unwrapped it and thanked him and praised the gift, he went all red in the face, apparently very disgruntled.

外：我明白你的意思了。我是從來沒那么想過。還有一件事我弄不懂。有一天，另一個中國朋友給了我一件禮物。我打開包裝，贊賞了禮品，并向他表示感謝時，他卻滿臉通紅，顯然很不愉快。

Chinese: (Laughs) That’s another point where we differ. We don’t usually unwrap or comment on a present in the presence of the donor. Your friend felt very embarrassed2 probably because it was only a small gift so no wonder he felt very uncomfortable when you thanked him and praised the gift.

中：（大笑）這是我們之間的又一個不同點。我們一般不在送禮人面前打開或者評論禮物。你的朋友感到尷尬也許因為那只是個小禮物，所以當你表示贊賞和感謝時，他就感到不舒服了。

Foreigner: Oh dear! I certainly did not mean to offend him. It’s our custom to unwrap a present in the donor’s presence. A gift, however small, represents the donor’s good will, and it is only appropriate that you should show your appreciation.

外：哎呀，天哪！我實在不是有意冒犯他。我們的習俗是在送禮人面前打開禮品。禮品雖小，代表的是送禮人的心意，受禮人就該表示贊賞。

注解：
1. disgruntle [dIs5grQntl] vt. 使不滿，使不高興
2. embarrassed [Im5bAr[st] adj. 窘的，尷尬的