How Self-Acceptance Leads to Happiness Within 天生我材必有用
Finding acceptance is a natural desire of most people. When we are young, it is important to us to be accepted by a group and to be seen as "cool" by our peers. To do this, we will often adopt the views and interests of the group rather than develop our own.
Over time, however, we have the opportunity to learn to accept ourselves. People who have done this are confident in their true abilities; they do not feel the need to create a facade to impress other people. They are concerned with whether their actions produce worthwhile results rather than with how they are seen by others.
Less secure people are quite different. Instead of finding security in themselves, they look for other people to provide it. This kind of person constantly agrees with everything others suggest, for fear of having their own ideas rejected. Arrogant or defensive people are also usually insecure; in an attempt to hide their insecurities, they belittle or blame others.
Secure people do not give up when faced with a difficult situation; they say "I can" rather than "I can't." Knowing that each day is an opportunity to use their talents to acquire good health, good friendships, and great happiness, they always put their best foot forward. Contented people do not judge others, nor do they judge themselves. They can appreciate the differences between themselves and other people.
Recognizing the details that we cannot change about ourselves is also a sign of personal growth. We cannot change our height, so why waste energy complaining about being short? Our energy would be better spent on more constructive projects. Instead of dwelling on personal characteristics we are not satisfied with, we ought to focus more on what we are good at.
Such expressions as "Love thyself" and "to thine own self be true" are about self-acceptance and confidence, as well as honesty and morality. We should consider them to be good advice, and treat them as signposts showing the way to happiness within.
渴望得到接納是大多數人的一個自然愿望。我們年輕的時候,能被一個團體所接納,被同輩認為很“酷”,對我們來說是很重要的。為此,我們常常要接受與團體一致的觀點和興趣,而不去發展我們自己的觀點或興趣。
然而,隨著時間的推移,我們開始有機會去學習接納自己。懂得如何接納自己的人,表明對自己的真實能力很有信心;他們覺得沒有必要去制造假象,讓自己給人留下深刻印象。他們所關心的只是自己的行為能否產生有價值的結果,而不在乎別人會怎么看他們。
缺乏安全感的人就很不一樣了。他們往往不是在自己內心尋找安全感,而是尋找他人的幫助來獲得安全感。這種人總是同意別人建議的每件事,就因為害怕自己的意見會遭到拒絕。傲慢或防御心強的人通常也是很沒有安全感的;他們會借著貶低或指責別人,來掩飾他們的不安。
有安全感的人面對困境時不輕易放棄;他們說“我可以”,而不說“我不行”。他們知道每一天都有機會施展所長,總是全力以赴,得到健康、友誼及幸福。懂得知足的人不評論別人,也不評判自己。他們能欣賞自己和別人的不同之處。
能認清我們無法改變自己這個事實也是一個人成熟的表現。既然我們不能改變自己的身高,那么又何必浪費力氣抱怨自己長得矮呢?把我們的精力用在更積極的計劃上會更好。與其在自己不滿意的個人特征上鉆牛角尖,不如把精力放到我們擅長的事情上。
像“珍愛自己”、“忠于自我”就是自我接納、自信的一種說法,也是對自己誠實與道德的一種表達。我們應該把它們當作金玉良言,并看作是通往內心幸福之路的路標。