評論
打印
1. If I had to select awordthatbest describes the majority of American parents,that wordwould be guilt-ridden. How sad it is toseeparents becomethewilling victims of the "give-me game", only to discover that, no matter what theydo, it isn't enough. In the end, they are despised for their lack of firmness andblamedwhentheirspoiled children get in trouble.Withthis in mind, I shall firstanswer this question:" What do parents owe their children?" and Ishall start with whatthey don't owe them.
1. 如果我必須挑選取一個詞，來描述美國的大多數父母，這個詞便是“內疚”(guilt-ridden)。目睹父母們甘愿做“給我游戲”的犧牲者(the willing victims of the“give-me game”)是很令人傷心的。但我們發現無論他們怎么做，都還是不夠。到最后（in the end），父母們都會因自己的軟弱(for their lack offirmness)而受到蔑視(despised)，因他們寵壞的孩子(their spoiled children)惹出事端而受到責備(blamed)。認識到這些，我們應該首先回答這個問題：“父母欠子女些什么？”而我首先要從他們不欠子女什么談起(start with)。
2. Parents don't owe their childrenevery minuteof their dayandevery ounce of their energy. They don't owe themround-the-clock car service, singing lessons, tennis lessons, expensivebicycles, a motorcycle or a carwhenthey reach sixteen,or a triptoEuropewhenthey graduate.
2. 父母不必把分分秒秒的時間（every minute of their day）、點點滴滴的精力(every ounce of their energy)都花在孩子們身上。不必時時準備（round-the-clock 全天候的）替他們開車外出，不必讓他們上音樂課和網球課，不必給他們買很貴的自行車、摩托車、或在他們滿十六歲時給他們買汽車，也不必在他們畢業時出錢讓他們去歐洲旅游。
3. Itake the firm positionthatparents do not owe their children a college education. If they can afford it, fine; they can certainly sendthem to the best universities. But they must not feel guiltily if they can't. If the childrenreally want to go, they'll find a way. There areplenty ofloans and scholarships forthe bright andeager who can't afford to pay.
3. 我還確信(take the firm position)父母并不欠孩子高等教育的費用。如果付的起，很好，他們當然可以將子女送進一流大學。但付不起亦無須感到愧疚（guiltily）。假如子女們真愿意上大學，他們自己會找到辦法。因為有許多(plentyof)為聰明好學(the bright and eager)而又無力支付學費的年輕人設立的貸款項目(loans)和獎學金(scholarships)。
4. After children marry, their parents do not owethem adown paymenton ahouseor moneyfor the furniture. They do not have an obligation to baby-sit or to taketheir grandchildren in their housewhenthe parents wereon vacation. If they want to do it,it mustbe considereda favor, not an obligation.
4. 孩子結婚后，父母無須為他們分期付款買房子而出底金(a down payment，首付)，無須為他們購買家具，也不一定要照顧孫輩，或是在子女旅行時看管孫兒孫女。倘若父母樂意這么做，子女應把這看作（be considered）恩惠而不是義務。
5.In myopinion, parents do not owe their children an inheritance,no matter how much moneythey have. One of the surest ways to produce a loafer isto let children knowthattheir future is assured.
5. 在我看來，無論父母多么有錢，都不一定要給子女一筆遺產。讓子女知道自己前途已有保障無疑最能使他們變為懶蟲(loafer)。
6. Do parents owe their childrenanything? Yes, they owe thema great deal.
6. 那么，父母難道就不欠子女什么了嗎？不，欠得很多很多。
7. One of their chief obligations is to give theirchildren a sense of personal worth of self-esteem is the basis of a goodmental health. A youngster, whoisconstantlymade tofeel stupid and unworthy,constantlycomparedtobrighter brothers, sisters orcousins, will become so unsure, so afraid of failing,thathe (or she) won'ttryat all. Of course, theyshould be correctedwhenthey do wrong;this is the way children learn. But the criticisms shouldbe balanced withpraises, preferably with a smileand a kiss. No child is evertoo oldto be hugged. Parents owe their childrenfirmguidance andconsistentdiscipline. It isfrighteningfor a youngsterto feelthatheis in charge of himself;it'slikebeingin a car without brakes. The parentswho say "No"when other parents say "Yes"sends a double message. He isalso saying: "I love you, and Iamready torisk your anger, because I don't want you toget into trouble."
7.父母最主要的責任之一就是使孩子們尊重自己的價值。因為只有自尊自重才是健康的精神狀態(a good mental health)的基礎。如果總讓孩子感到自己愚蠢無為(stupid and unworthy)，總是把他與聰明的兄弟姐妹比較，他就會變得缺乏信心，懼怕失敗，結果(that)連嘗試一下的勇氣都沒有了。當然，孩子有錯誤應當及時糾正，這樣孩子才能有所長進。不過有批評也須有表揚，微笑和親吻是比較好的方式。孩子再大也可以擁抱。(No child is ever too oldto be hugged.)父母有義務對孩子進行不間斷的引導和管束。讓十幾歲的孩子覺得自己可以隨心所欲(he is in charge of himself)是危險的，那就和坐在沒有剎車的汽車里一樣。當別的父母讓孩子放任自流時，管束孩子的父母實際上讓孩子接收到了一種雙重信息。在說“不行”的同時，他們的意思也包含了：“我們愛你。我們知道你會生氣，但我們不愿讓你陷入困境（get into trouble）。”
8. Parents owe their childrensomereligious training. The factthatso many strangecults are enjoying such success is proof thatchildrenfeel the need forsomething spiritual in their life.
8.父母有義務給予孩子一些宗教訓練。事實上，很多奇怪的宗教團體享受著成功，這正說明了孩子們在他們的生活中，需要（feel the need for）一些精神上的東西。
9. Parents owe their children a comfortable feelingabouttheir body, and enough information about sexto balancethe misinformation thatthey willsurely receive from theirfriends.
9.父母也有義務注意孩子的身心健康，教給孩子必要的性知識，使他能夠抵御(to balance)那些將來無疑會從朋友們那兒得到的錯誤概念(misinformation)。
10. Parents owetheir childrenprivacy and respectfor theirpersonal belongings. Thismeansnotborrowingthings without permission,not readingdiaries and mail,notlooking throughpurses, pockets, and drawers. If a mother feelsthatshe must read her daughter's diarytoknow what is going on, the communication between them must beprettybad.
10.父母還應給予孩子們個人空間，尊重屬于他的物品。這包括未經孩子同意不使用他的東西。不看他的日記和信件，不檢查他的錢包、抽屜或衣袋。倘若一位母親感到不看女兒的日記就不知道女兒的情況時，她們之間的關系便已到了相當(pretty)糟糕的地步了。
11. Parents owe their childrena set of solid valuesaround which to build their lives.This meansteaching them to respectthe rights and opinions of others;it means being respectful to elders, toteachers, and to the law.The bestway toteach such values is by example. A child who is lied to will lie. A childwho sees his parents steal tools fromthe factory or towels from a hotelwill thinkthatit is all right to steal. A youngster who sees no laughterand no lovein the homewillhave a difficult timelaughingand loving.
11.最后，父母還有責任教給子女一系列處世準則，包括教育他們尊重別人的權利與意見，尊重長輩(be respectful tosb. 尊敬某人)，尊重師長，遵守紀律。而最好的教育方法便是以身作則(by example)。受到騙的孩子(a child who is lied to)會去騙人。孩子若看到家長從工廠里偷工具或在旅館里偷毛巾便會以為偷竊不是錯事。在家里看不見家長的笑臉，得不到愛撫的孩子將來很難變得開朗（laughing）和友愛(loving)。
12.No childasks to be born. If you bring a life into the world, you owe the childrensomething. And if you give him his due, he'll havesomething of valueto pass along to yourgrandchildren.
12.沒有任何孩子是自己要求出世的。倘若你將一個生命帶到世界上來，你便對他負有義務。如果你給予了他應得的，他也將會把一些有價值的東西傳給你的孫輩們。
