評論
打印
Okay, there's a bank in New Hampshire that doesn't check anything.
我找到一家在新罕布什爾的銀行，他們什么資料都不會查。
And before someone else grabs our cupcake space, I say we get on a bus and go up there.
趁別人還沒搶走咱們要的店面之前，我們趕緊上公車去一趟吧。
They won't give out their exact address, but I know they're in a mini mall with a white castle.
他們不愿意給詳細地址，只說是在小商城里，有白城堡標識。
Better idea. I went to Craigslist, Clicked on "etc"
我有更好的提議。我上了分類廣告網站，點了其他類，
and found all kinds of opportunities to make some cash.
找到了各種賺錢的機會。
I'm fighting the instinct to weep, but keep going.
我在強忍眼眶中悲哀的淚，你接著說。
At first I thought I might call pit pig.
看到了一個聞香師工作。
He just wants his armpits smelled, but that's, like, 1,000 sniffs. Big commitment.
結果人家是要找人聞他腋下，但貌似要聞個一千次左右。犧牲頗大。
Or there's the weirdo looking for pretty amputees, but that feels like a bigger commitment.
還有另一個怪人要找個貌美的截肢者，但感覺這活犧牲更大。
So, check it. "Egg donors needed. Ten to twenty grand."
所以，看這個吧。"尋求卵子捐贈者。酬勞一到兩萬"。
No way, I could never sell my eggs.
別想，我死也不賣我的卵子。
I mean, wouldn't you hate to think you had a kid out there and not know it?
你難道喜歡在心里老惦記著自己可能有個孩子在外面嗎？
I probably do. In 2006, I invented the Four Loko and robitussin smoothie.
我早有了吧。我06年發明了能量酒精飲料混感冒糖漿奶昔。
It's pretty much a blackout year.
我整年都在神志不清呢。
Seriously, for the right price I'd sell 'em all.
價錢合理，賣光所有卵子也行。
Really? I mean, I know you've always been tough.
真的嗎？我是知道你一直都是女猛將。
To hear you tell it, you were part of an underground baby fight club.
也聽你說過你曾是地下嬰兒搏擊俱樂部的一員。
But don't you wanna be a mom some day?
但你難道沒想過有天要當媽嗎？
In the history of the world, give me one example of a really good mother.
從古到今，舉一個好媽媽的例子給我聽聽。
You're putting me on the spot. All I can think of is Hilary Duff.
這問題把我難住了。我腦子里浮現的只有希拉里·達芙。
Look, you're complicating this with these things you call emotions.
聽我說，這事情很簡單，是你感情用事，才這么復雜。
Like it or not... I'm an egg farm.
無論你接不接受...我就是個蛋雞。
Because we don't know one single person outside of New Hampshire who can lend us that kind of money.
而除了新罕布什爾的那地方，我們找不到人會愿意借我們這么多錢的。
Yoo-hoo, girls, look out the window. Up here! It's me!
姑娘們，看看窗外。看上面，是我！
Oleg and I would like two cupcakes please.
奧列格跟我想要兩個小蛋糕。
